h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Kudos saunters onto the bridge, followed by Corrupt. Kudos spots Stephanie and Tusk and stops.*

[Kudos] YOU!!

*He runs to the fortifications, blasting at them. Corrupt waits in the background, not interested in getting binary backlash, instead waiting for the *real* battle to start.*

*NYC, noting that Kudos has identified the characters (rather loosely, but who cares?) as the competitors he's looking for, decides it's a good thing to keep shooting and forget about the questions altogether*

*Each of the present members of B.E.T.T.E. reacts in their own way. First, Zakkry Johbsor (wearing an outfit so ugly that it hurts to look at, ergo making it difficult to aim at him; the fact that he's incredibly nimble doesn't make him any easier to blast, either) dodges around NYC's fire (as Kudos seems primarily concerned with Tusk and Stephanie). Zakkry pulls out what looks like a a normal ray gun and begins blasting back*

*The Robot Warrior gets off of his chair and faces the attackers. Several arm-mounted missile cannons and laser blasters unfold and begin blasting at Kudos. He doesn't dodge, but with armor-plating that thick he might be able to sustain a few hits*

*The Althian Bounty Hunter pulls out two Paralasis Rays with two tentacles and begins firing at Kudos and NYC. At the same time, two more tentacles pull out Althian Telekinetic Cribs and hurls one at NYC while hurling the other at Kudos in the hopes of capturing them both*

*Stephanie acrobatically leaps out of harms way and lands next to Corrupt*

Stephanie-*To Corrupt* So, you're in league with the adventurers! You know, you people have GOT to stop shooting just as soon as you walk into a room! If we can't all play nice, then we can't all have fun later. Fun being the trip off of this asteroid, of course.

*Meanwhile Tusk, his back to the assaulters initially, took a shot. He doesn't seem to be too badly hurt, though he was knocked onto his knees. Tusk quickly turns around, snarling in fury. His eyes lock with NYC's, and Tusk recalls "baby-sitting" this particular villain for Minos Krylma on one or two occasions. Tusk grins, bearing all of his sharp pointy teeth*

Tusk-Lunch time!

*Tusk charges at NYC, ready to tear him limb from limb*

*Kudos takes a heat-seeking missile square in the chest, but is unphased. NYC, however, gets blown to the wall from the blast, which thankfully lets the crib fly past him and clatter harmlessly somewhere near Corrupt. NYC fires a few more times, but drops his plasma rifle and reaches for his baseball bat just in time to be tackled by the unbridled fury that is Tusk*

Die Die Die!

*NYC, pinned down, starts swinging the bat wildly*

*Kudos starts blasting at Tusk, seeing as he could use some more firepower on his side. He also picks up one of NYC's machine guns and starts shooting randomly toward the major opposition while he struggles to turn Tusk into binary.*

*Corrupt's spells start whizzing throughout the bridge, and some of the computers seem to be on fire now.*

*NYC only peripherally notices that Kudos has taken one of his guns, and wonders when he'll remember that the firing pins were rusted by a very unsporting heroine... Oh, he'll figure it out eventually.*

*BOOM*

*Now NYC redoubles his efforts at beating Tusk senseless (which is difficult when one is edible) because he knows that soon Kalia will be there soon... *shudder*

*Kudos stops firing for a few moments and looks with dazed confusion at the exploded weapon in his hand, which has charred him somewhat. Luckily it didn't touch the Blaster, but it seems to have disabled him somewhat. Corrupt continues creating general, unfocused mayhem, and Tusk's fur (the part that isn't binaried, that is) lights on fire as well.*

*As per NYC's prediction, with the destruction of one of his weapons comes the arrival of Kalia, this time rather well-armed herself.*

I TOLD YOU NOT TO...

*She sees that NYC is currently occupied with other matters, and that Kudos is the one holding the weapon in question -- a situation she /perfectly/ understands.*

KUDOS, YOU ROTTEN ALIEN...!!

*He appears to wake up as Kalia comes flying at him with a flaming scimitar in hand, clad in samurai-style fire-resistant armor. With a yelp, Kudos drops the machine gun and starts firing at Kalia, who is surprisingly adept at dodging his blasts.*

Stephanie-Oh, spells? Come now, I thought that maybe you people would for once just walk into a room so that we wouldn't have to defend ourselves. Oh, well. Set the computers on fire for all I care. We'll be out of here soon anyway.

*So saying, Stephanie throws an Althian Telekinetic Crib at Corrupt. Since Corrupt is only about two feet away, this may make dodging difficult, but the odds of the Crib expanding to a suitable size for enveloping Corrupt by the time it covers the short distance is actually fairly small. She won't have much time before it reaches that size, though*

*Tusk, meanwhile, is howling. One of his arms has been reduced to binary and is rapidly reassembling itself while his fur is on fire. Thinking fast, Tusk stops, drops onto NYC, and begins rolling in an attempt to put out the fire and cause some damage to his old "friend."*

*The Robot Warrior, Zakkry Johbsor and the AlthianBount Hunter note that they are being noticed when they attack, but not attacked in return. Rising to the occasion, the Robot Warrior extends some machines guns from his chest and begins firing at Corrupt. Zakkry simply tries to run into plain view of Kudos, seeing as how the very sight of his horrendous suit can cause pain. The Althian Bounty Hunter leaps through the air at Kudos intent on drop-kicking him. MEanwhile, the Crib that NYC managed to escape the first time swerves back into the air and resumes its persuit of its prey (NYC)*

*NYC scrambles out from under Tusk with only a few bruises and second degree burns, only to be greeted again by the sight of an oncoming crib. Maybe he was better off under Tusk. Since the other opponents are occupied at the moment, NYC places his attention on the oncoming crib, trying to keep Tusk between he and it... until the crib deftly dodges Tusk and continues toward him at a very rapid pace*

oh CRAP!

*NYC turns and runs directly away from the crib, and directly into Stephanie, whom he crashes into. Then, an idea hits him almost as fast as he hit her - he hugs Stephanie. The crib closes its distance*

*A very startled Corrupt jumps out of the way, and both Cribs converge where NYC is, for some ungodly reason, /hugging/ the evil babysitter.*

*Kudos starts blasting at Tusk again, while Kalia leaps for the fashion-unconcious character*

*Stephanie blinks in confusion. The two Althian Telekinetic Cribs slam into each other, effectively entrapping NYC and Stephanie. Stephanie attempts to push NYC into one half of the two cribs that they are trapped in while attempting to jump into the second half for herself*

*The fire on Tusk has now gone out, and his first arm has re-formed. However, it is hit by the binary blaster again, and it once again transforms into binary. Tusk howls in pain, glares at Kudos, and charges straight at him, hoping to smash his binary blaster. His arm slowly begins regenerating*

*NYC, desperate to make his own ploy work, keeps an arm around Stephanie and uses his other to pull out another thoroughly useless yet potentially dangerous submachine gun and point it at her head*

Bang bang! Where do you think YOU'RE going? I'm pretty sure I've been cribbed at least once before and I'm pretty sure I didn't like it, so...

*NYC yanks at Stephanie towards the crib that is quickly enveloping him within it*

*Stephanie doesn't attempt to pull away, but instead runs straight at NYC in an attempt to get both of them into the Crib. The open wall materializes behind her, and based on some unseen command the crib now shared by NYC and Stephanie begins to shrink*

Stephanie-This thing's controlled mentally, NYC. You didn't get to see this part the last time you were in one, but I think you can handle it.

*Just at the point when the Crib becomes small enough to possibly cause some discomfort to the inhabitants, both vanish and reappear at F127150?thread=324893 *

*The charge runs out on Kudos's Binary Blaster, and with a yelp he tries to jump over Tusk, but fails miserably. He ends up getting tackled by the huge animal, and tries to beat the creature off with the broken machine gun.*

*Kalia, meanwhile, is having good progress with the fashion-unconcious character, slashing at the horrendous clothes and not having to put up a terribly good fight, as that character isn't used to people looking at him long enough to fight. Then again, it's probably lucky that Kalia isn't human.*

*Corrupt sees NYC's disappearance and wonders if it would be a good idea to disappear herself. She looks around for her cohorts and, seeing only Kudos in trouble, waits for NYC to come back by throwing some lightning around, for a change. She seems a bit bored.*

*The Robot Warrior launches twelve small missiles at Corrupt as Tusk, seemingly not noticing Kudos' attempted resistance with the broken gun, begins repeatedly punching Kudos. This becomes really effective considering that his arm has, by now, fully regenerated*

*Meanwhile, Zakkry Johbsor is managing to dodge most of Kalia's attacks, though his suit has two cuts on it. The cuts don't improve the appearance of his suit, however. Zakkry pulls out a cross between a loudspeaker and a gun and shoots it at Kalia. While there wouldn't be any physical damage, the speaker is designed to implant hypnotic subliminal messages into the mind of the target such as, "I'm your friend," "Buy my product," and "Please surrender."*

Zakkry-I was able to sell a shuttlecraft to the Tomarin Armada for the price of a battle cruiser with this thing....let's see how it works in a battle scenario....

*Kalia thought process:

>Target: Unknown hostile creature
>Weapon: Flaming Scimitar
>Attack Mode: Slashify
.....>Target Response: Dodge
.....>Target Attack: Subliminal Sonics
>Damage: 0
>Response: Engage Mode
.....
->Target: Agressive Depraved Creature
->Weapon: Desert Wind +3
->Attack Mode: Free-For-All*

*Kalia shrieks and leaps into the air, intending to have her sword crash down with massive force upon her target.*

*Meanwhile, Corrupt seems to wake up at the sight of the coming missiles. She uses an emergency improbability shield to turn them into dasies within 5 feet of her; dasies that hit the ground near Tusk and Kudos and explode. She turns her electricity attacks toward the robot, an angry gleam in her eyes.*

*Kudos, now charred and bruised, tries to get his Binary Blaster working by bashing it on the ground. He then gets an idea and puts the Blaster between him and Tusk. A high pitched whine comes out of the Blaster, along with a massive, uncontrolled burst from it that engulfs both Kudos and Tusk...*

Would ya care to enlighten me as to who Kalia's attacking? "Aggresive Depraved Creature" could mean nearly any of 'em.


*Tusk is completely envelopped by the blast, but the damaged blaster was only able to convert him into Hexadecimal. He'll be reassembled in moments*

*FLASH*

*CRASH*

*What looks like a space station wall filled with electronics falls through a rip in space/time and crashes quite spectacularly within the corridor that everyone was fighting in, destroying half the embattlements created beforehand and creating almost an entirely different field for battle. A much more cramped one. NYC peeks out from the rubble. He sees Kalia. Kalia looks mad. NYC curses his lack of a plan B*

Sorry, Affy; I was talking about Zakkry. That should be who she's attacking...



*Kudos, being smaller and less complex, reassembles in nanomoments, and scurries out from beneath the hexadecimal mess. He shakes his head angrily and blinks out of existence with a -kaPWING-*

Simulpost? Oooh.



*Kalia sees NYC come back with one of the shop walls just as her swing embeds itself in it. She is immediately consumed with anger toward him--that plus being in Killer Nerd mode is not something NYC wanted to see. She dashes toward him at top speed, scimitar ready to strike.*