Welcome, please sign in at Reception
Cal Fortuneswell has studied different alien beauty therapies for many years (well he read the first page of Alien Therapies by Sir Patrick Shoe). He has now brought all these therapies together in his very own Alien Health Farm for you to enjoy.
We recommend that customers take part in as many therapies as possible to obtain the full benefit of your stay here. Therapies you should not miss out on are, a bath in greeh and asses milk, this softens the skin and takes 20 years off you, also do not miss our daily talks from our resident dietician. We hope you enjoy your stay.
Meet our wonderful staff
Cal Fortuneswell, Owner and General Alien
Scandrea and Tracer, Our Personal Trainers
Lady Scott † Keeper of Long Afternoon Naps, Dietician
Reef Girl Masseurse
MizzPinky Greeh and mud pack applier
Dan Dare Receptionist
The following vacancies are waiting to be filed:
Staff to man the sauna and Turkish bath
If you would like to apply for any of the above or have a skill we could use please report to Cals Office
Our sign was kindly made by supermoo