h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's really quite apt
(If your sanity's snapped)

and it makes you feel more than stupid

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A barbershop hairdresser knows

the clippings can cover your clothes

That once you bend over backward

Things can get a bit akward

For the clippings can fall up your nose.

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A telesales rep from Skegness

made her call in a state of undress

heavy breathing resulted

Doctors were consulted

And she was examined (though under duress)

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He came and he saw and he went

With only his thermosk and tent

such basic supplies
brought tears to his eyes

And he let out a plaintive lament

I almost wrote "plaintiff"
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A quirky little wombat from Perth

studies various types of earth

All day he would toil
In the depths of the soil

But gave all the water wide berth.
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A mischevious man from Berlin

And, much to his surprise, gave birth!

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I hate it when bugs fly in my ear!

their buzzing, it just sounds so queer

Let's do both:

A mysterious man from Berlin,
Collected small pieces of tin

I hate it when bugs fly in my ear,
It is something that I truly fear

wore a bright orange scarf on his chin

(Interleaved limericks... sorry...)