h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I can never predict WHEN I'll be online. I CAN give you this ~hands Krymla Leader a map of the Aroma Café~

Complete blueprints. Clearly marked in red is the safe where Irv keeps the IIEM manual. The combination is 478464 9274464866 .

(no, those aren't random numbers. Look at your touch-tone telephone and figure out what they spell)

/Red

[Y2K] There's three possibilities for each number.

[Y3K] There's 16 numbers.

[Y4K] All in all, it's much easier to encode than to decode.

[Y2K] Could you also supply which letter?

[Y3K] Yeah. Put some sort of symbol next to each number.

[Y4K] Add an * on the left if it's the one on the left and a # if it's on the right. Don't if it's the one in the middle. #7*7*2*6 is SPAM.

[The three clones (YC is missing) look at the number of numbers in each "word"]

[All three] Ah, never mind.

Almost like making a computer password "password".

Or rather 72779673. Clever man, that Irving Washington.

[Y2K] Or a keyword "Keyword."

[Y3K] You got that from the Dilbert TV show.

[Y4K] So what? It's apt.

Actually I've never watched the Dilbert TV show. I couldn't get over the previews where none of the characters talked anything like I'd heard when I listened to them in my head. Oh well.

[Y2K] That bites, eh?

[Y3K] Yeah. I do NOT want to watch the Harry Potter movie.

[Y4K] But we will, anyway, won't we?

[They wait for YC to agree, but he doesn't because he's not there]

Red, just so you know, STUMPED isn't going to officially support your independant candidacy for supreme tyrannical ruler of h2g2. Personally, I'm all for it, but STUMPED can't afford to be subjugated to raids and attacks constantly. It's hard enough to do our plotting, raids on buisinesses, battles with supervillains, bad mouthing the supervillains, and attending our private parties without every one of the 50,000 researchers of h2g2 showing up on our door step.

Now, let's try to do this again: is there a day during the week after next week that's good for everyone?

[Y2K] Saturday.

[Y3K] Saturday.

[Y4K] Yep, Saturday for me, too.

Okay, Saturday might work. Not today, but next Saturday. I hope.

[Y2K] Me, too!

very clever password, irving. let me know if i can help with the evil plot...

[Y2K] So, Sea, what's your Darth Name going to be?

[Y3K] Suggestions: some sort of "evil" noun or verb that begins with "in" but with the beginning taken off, i.e. (in)Vader, (in)Sidious, (in)Corrigible, (shopping)Maul, etc.

[Y4K] But try, in your case, to make it feminine sounding. Clement, maybe?

[Y3K] Eh?

[Y4K] Inclement means stormy or severe and unmerciful.

[Y2K] Let Sea decide for herself.

Okay, quick change of plans. Next person to read this, follow me to http://www.h2g2.com/A246593 for the *real* mission!

This post has been removed.

Hey, who's failing?

[Y2K] Yeah, and we just MIGHT consider deeming you offensive!

[Y3K] Face it, Amy: flamers never did anything useful.

[Y4K] And insulting the lot of us is the words of a Flamer.

[Y2K] Yeah, I like that. It's evil. [flips his Vader mask down] Come with us to the Dark Side, where we can rule the H2G2 as soon as we succeed! Remember, evil will always triumph, because good is dumb! [extends hand] Join with us and you can learn powers which you could never counter as a Good Guy! Go to our side, and be all that you can be! Go to the Good Side and be all that you are told to be! I want YOU!

[Cut to an "I want YOU!" poster but with Darth Vader instead of Uncle Sam. The four clones (Y2K without his Vader getup) are standing in front of it]

[Y3K] Looks good, eh, Y2K?

[Y2K, proud] Yes, I made it myself!

[Y3K] You should use it again.

[Y4K, snidely] Oh, don't worry, I don't doubt we'll be making this exact same post whenever he wants someone to join the Dark Side.

Just out of curiosity, has that poster *ever* gotten someone to join us?

i doubt it, but it looks cool!!! and i'm going to have to think about my darth name.... (mental note: time to get out the dictionary)

[Y2K] You said it!