h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The Krylma Leader sits in a large chair behind a desk. Affy is not here. The Krylma Leader is fully in charge of Affy's body for a few hours, and has it morphed into his lizard-like form*

Affy's right. Being a symbiote is much easier than fighting for control. Now, if only the three henchmen I've hired show up soon.

No. 1 Henchwolf reporting for duty.

Good! Now, if only the other two would show up before a hero notices this. Of course, the two of us could handle the mission alone, but I want a little more back up. I guess we'll just have to wait for Ice and Grey.

*Combs hair while waiting*

Henchman No. 2 at your service, Sir. Awaiting your command.

What's going on here??

Ah, Darth Noire! This is a meeting for the first in a series of ploys I have developed with which to further the power of STUMPED in h2g2. You are welcome to come along if you wish, but it's really a simple "run in-run out" job that shouldn't take more than a few posts once it's organized. I thought I would use different hench-villains for the later jobs so that no one can say I was favoring certain villains over others. Meanwhile, feel free to stay and participate if you wish.

*Leans back in his chair, wondering where on Earth the third villain is*

Well, let's start without Ice. I'm sure that he'll show up before we're ready to go.

*Stands up and paces around the room a few times. Snaps his fingers and a holographic map of H2G2 appears, complete with User Pages, Guide Entries, Space Stations, the Moon, City Hall, Mountains, Forests, etc. The Krylma Leader points a finger at Mt. Sandcastle, and at a small building roughly half-way up the mountain*

As many of you may know, the building I am pointing at is Joanna's Donut Stall.

*A sign saying "Joanna's Donut Stall" begins floating by the building*

Inside this donut stall is . . . an object. I won't mention which object, seeing as many people may be spying on us. Forums are free for all to read, after all. Anyway, this is what we'll do: try and organize a time when we're all online at the same time (may be difficult, but we should be able to manage something), and run in. You . . .

*Points at Garius*

I want you in full wolf mode. Run in, roar and growl for everything you're worth, and scare people so much that they won't be able to react in time for you . . .

*points at Grey Spectre*

to come in (invisible) and make sure that Joanna is bound and gagged. I'm fairly confident that we could get out before she can use the curse, and with my powers combined with cLI technologies, we could develop an antidote, but I don't want to risk it. I don't care what happens, just make sure she can't use the Curse until we're more than ready to leave!

When Ice shows up, someone tell this to him in case I forget: his job is to run in, and incapacitate any researcher who can think fast enough to try and stop us. Also, see if he can try to get a sample of the S30.

*Gasps spread through the room*

That's right. The S30. The "Unmentionable Donut". There's bound to be a recipe in there. I'd be willing to bet that Eomando knows what the recipe is, but it's in there *SOMEWHERE*! OF course, the S30 will only be a minor victory compared to what I'm after.

*Grins evily*

Little does he know it, but in the Donut Stall forum, I'm subconciously getting Affy to figure out where it is. I believe he knows where it is, without even knowing that he's looking for it! Anyway, that's the mission. When is an okay time for everyone?

Ok I'm here. Maliciously evil plan Krymla. I'm usealy on during most of the day unless something comes up to keep me busy. My time zone is -8:00 GMT so I'm not sure how this will conflict with others being in the UK or what ever I have AIM and ICQ if we need to do anylast minute synching.

I, too, am amazingly flexible. I'm in the Central Time Zone which I believe is about five or six hours behind GMT. Now, here's the big difficulty: Garius is only online while at work, and then usually only while he's on his lunch break. So let's plan it to be within a few hours of . . . five o'clock GMT? Anyway, Grey Spectre, what's a good time for you?

I'm in CDT too, but I post any time, give me a time and day and I'll be there.

*grin* I think I'll just watch you completing this mission - I'm busy enough in Raven. But I'm always willing to know what's going on in S.T.U.M.P.E.D. at all times...

Affy, Central is GMT-6 (i.e. 6 hours behind GMT). I am 5 hours behind GMT (Eastern Standard Time). So I guess that means that you are, ... uh ... one hour behind me. (phew). 5:00 GMT is fine with me, but I can usually get on at other times between 2:00 GMT and 10:00 GMT. But, just to get it fixed, lets set it at 5:15 GMT. If everyone reads this before Monday, we can set it for Monday. If not, lets do it on Tuesday.

Affy, as close to the time as you can, post the URL of the latest doughnut thread here. I haven't been keeping up with that one lately.

Ohh I wont be able to do it monday. My family is taking me to Magic Moutain for a day of mind numbing Roller Coasters. But Teusday should be fine. 5:15 GMT? Lets see that 9:15 Am my time? ok I'll just have to wake up early and hope no ones usein the comp. You know time subtraction can be confusing. Oh and if you need to contact me with any last minute info and I dont seem to be lurking about the forums use one of these.... ICQ...32509330
[email protected] or [email protected] (not sure if its switched over yet)

oh and one last thing. I'm to incapacitate any would be dogooders but I assume you dont want a bunch of Dead Researchers lying around so I'll need some kind of non-leathel weapon from CLI. Perhaps an air-powered dart gun with some kind of powerfull quick acting muscle-relaxant/neuro-depressant. I could use hand to hand to knock them out but a dart would be quicker.

Beter yet, here is our latest model of snowzar. It fires just like a gun, but the vicitm gets frozen instead of injured. You see on the side here is the setting for the length of time that the freezing will last. It can be set from 30 seconds to infinity. I suggest a setting of 5 minutes for this job. It is a particularly appropriate weapon for you! You can keep it after the mission, too. A gift from CLI.

*Hands a Snowzar, Model 7 to Ice.*

~takes the gun and grins~ Nice ~spins it around and holsters it somewhere in his coat~ Ok I'm good to go. hehe this might come in hand in my upcoming duel with Death Avacado that is if the little heros decides to show up. I think he's afraid of me....lol

*Glances at the Snowzar and sighs*

Yes, I suppose the snowzar is the best weapon for this job. The Sleetzar would melt researchers (making them deaded), and, while the polka gun wouldn't kill them, they might get in our way by dancing. I was really eager to test the Polka gun, too, but it'll have to wait. Let's review the plan once moer, just to spend some time until Tuesday morning:

(1) Garius, in wolf mode, runs in through the front door of the stall, growling as loud as possible, and causing them to be stunned just long enough for . . .
(2) Grey Spectre (invisible) to come in and take care of Joanna, while Ice, erm, ices (for lack of a better word) the other customers, and also searches for the recipe and/or sample of the "unmentionable donut", this clearing the way for . . .
(3) The Krylma Leader (me) to burst in, in full death lizard mode, and get my special item, which I am subconciously causing Affy (in another forum) to look for. But I think other's are getting suspicious, so I might need to stop. Anyway, after I get my item, . . .
(4) We bail in the fastest means possible (meaning that we can either teleport, roll down the mountain, have a nifty gettaway vehicle waiting, or shoot ourselves out of the Snow Cannon).

Remember, if anyone needs help, give it to them. We don't want any casualties, seeing as we are just zipping in, distracting mortals, do the minimum amount of looting, and zap out. I'll be posting the Donut Stall thread very shortly.

And it looks like it's Tuesday at 5:15 GMT, right?

I assume so. That's 9:15 Central, right?

Wait affy central's -6 from GMT that would make it 11:15 your time its 9:15 pacific.