h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Didn't you see the sign there, lady? ::points::

Please don't flush paper towels
Please wash hands before returning to work
Please take used loo brushes with you

So... I'll take the used loo brush back to my work station!??

I'm calling OSHA....

There are plastic bags available for your convenience ...

Plastic bags!?? ....

I'm calling Green Peace....

I'll make sure there's enough whalemeat sandwiches to go around!

I have a lovely Great Panda stew cooking in the oven, perhaps you'd like that as well??

Shea

How very sweet! Thanks ER! Put it next to the baby seal souffle ...

I have some lovely tuna packed in dolphin oil.

If there's any left over, we can put it in those
plastic bags that Dragonfly calls green peas.

Ooo! Nice! Forget the green peas ... use these throw-away containers I have! They're just as good as Tupperware, but instead of washing them and using them again, you can throw them out! Aren't they great?

They're super, Shea!

I think we can send them to a landfill in a Third
World country along with some old computers that
are obsolete (like three years old). The citizens
will think we're helping them advance ("Wow,"
they'll say, "genuine disposable containers like the
rich folks use!"), while we'll know we're keeping
them backward (what? These computers only use Windows
95?)

I was just going to toss some of these plastic 6-pack holders out in the ocean... I hear the geese and ducks just love to wear them as necklaces.

They're very handy for the duck that
has six ducklings and wants to keep
them together.

Has anyone found a suitable replacement for the Dodo egg?? My baking has never been the same since they disappeared from the shelves.

I hear that carrier pigeon egg is a good substitute...

It just takes so many more of them.


I think the ratio is 3 dozen carrier pigeon eggs will substitute nicely for one dodo egg.

Even better is the piping plover egg! You need at least 4 dozen, but they're worth it, and easy to find! We've got cordoned-off areas of the beaches here that you can just walk right into and pick all you want!

did I see someone mention UPS in shea's fanclub???

Don't you people know how offensive that is?

Don't you know both Shea and I work with software created by UPS (Unisys Publishing Solutions)?

Is not this software the worst invention since McD*nald's, W*ndows and m*ndays?

The UPS I mentioned was actually United Parcel Service... which is generally more reliable with handling packages than our US Postal Service tends to be...

Had no idea there was more than one kind of UPS...

But Pierce , my friend, how *could*
any invention be worse than McD*nald's, W*ndows
and m*ndays? In fact, the exertion of just
thinking about trying to outdo them for badness
makes ny .

*offers aspirin to Paul*

*offers to Mrs. Betty*