h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Once there were four children whose names were Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny"

In the Microsoft, there was the Word.

... and the Word was with bug, and the Word was bug.

In the beginning was the Apple and the Apple was with God, and the Apple was God.

"'Its not as chocolate as we know it, Jim!"

Houston, we have a Whitney.

"You're only supposed to blow the bloody Beatles off!"

Excuse me… Excuse me. I’d just like to ask a question… What does a politician need with a starship?
-James Kirk, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

"Open the pod bay doors, Eddie"

and

"ET, Phone a friend"

"The Hitch Hikers Guide To Milton Keynes was probably the most remarkable book ever to come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor"

Don't pollute the river, it flows by itself.

"My wings are like a shield of pork!"

I've told you a million times! don't exaggerate

But soft, what through yonder window breaks?

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a better fortune.

[Good one!]

Military justice is to justice as meteorology is to meteors.

Military Law is to Common Law as is Astronomy is to Astrology.....


GT

The problems of two little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy plantation.

[An oldie but a goodie:]



The ego has landed.

which came first the chicken or the egg, my solicitor says don't you dare answer that