h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

And a very good but cold and wet Tuesday evening to you all, especially Ali because he won a rugby award , CG because she lost her trees , Hazel because she dislikes Jude Law as much as I do , BoP because I like Canadians, Peter because I missed his 21st birthday - hope it was fabulous Peter , Lou the chopsy one for asking when I was coming back and Max for being wrong (!), Bushy because I think he really has left Sarnia, because although she is a chelsea fan she can't help it, Pat for being Pat , Legers for being off the planet and not liking purple ....have I missed anyone? Ooops if I have and grovelly apologies too.

Now what's happening and why does wine that you drink on holiday that tastes lurvely in hot climate and is swigged in large quanities, taste like crap when you get home?

Welcome back Magster! I hope you had a lovely time.

In answer to your Q. - doesn't everything taste better when it's hot & you're on holiday? Even those very dodgy spirits are well drinkable - it's only when you get back that it tastes like lighter fluid (and I speak as one whose palate is not noted for it's subtlety!)

Hello Magster and Hazel (munchkin),

Yes, from now on you will have to start calling me 'Award-Winning Alistair W'.

Welcome back to 'normality'; I hope your tan is rich and deep.

Hazel, the lighter fluid is now down the sink, hopefully killing bacteria instead of killing me

Alistair, the tan is wonderful and is a good price to pay for the extra weight that now snuggles nicely on my bumps and lumps...trouble is this time next week it will be gone....why do we live in this dark, dreary, cold, wet country?

Magster - hope you have left yourself something to drink! Or are you having a bit of a post-holiday absteme? Weather seems even worse than it is since we had a few really hot days earlier on. You haven't missed much - the MBs have been running like treacle drpped into cold custard in a vacuum.

Ali - that means we have to call you The AWAW! I am still stiff from riding, as I hadn't done it for ages, and walking around like John Wayne.

Because we're British and with Britishness comes a phlegmatic character which tolerates such deeply unfair, er, unfair things such as cold, wet weather and Argentina getting away with cheating us out of the 1998 World Cup match.

I managed to play cri**et this evening and, Hazel will be thrilled to hear this because she follows my cr**eting exploits with a keen and expert eye, we won.

Did you hit the jumps, Hazel, or just engage in a little yomping?

Ah, AWAW, what is "yomping"? I just had a (fairly) quiet hack . And were you batting middle leg?

Hazel, don't worry, we have a large store of alcohol here..I have now though finished drinking for the night. Watch those horses..they can be most unpredictable as I found to my cost a very long time ago. Great for firming the thighs though

Alistair, in that case then I am not being British anymore because I hate this weather, it stinks. Did someone forget to tell the person who controls the weather that BST has begun and yes, we do want warm, sunny weather? Excuse me, I'll just go and kick something, hopefully the nasty cat from next door who has been using my front garden as a toilet whilst I have been away. With apologies to any cat lovers but this one is evil...honest!

Cricket...too damn cold...but pray tell us Ali, how is the average going along this season?

Magster - the reason I hadn't been riding for so long was partly because - a while ago - I had a disagreement with one about the direction we should take! Strangely enough the horse won. Still - I'm completely back to normal now - as you can see .

I do like my own cats (well, sometimes) but often throw things at the various Toms. who hang around. And sometimes at visiting cats, as well!

Morning everyone: especially TMW and AWAW.

Mornin' All! (esp. ?) Chipper?

Magster, I haven't left Sarnia, we're still together!

Morning PP and EOETKM

Welcome back Magster

Today's radio station: WKCR 89.9 FM New York

Today's cuddly toy: the bunny rabbit

Today's weather: yes, lots of it

Today's shopping trolley: That Sainbury's tolley with the wonky left front wheel. You know the one, it looks like it's been in the river for a week after being used by a tramp, sorry "person of the street", for living accommodation before being used by a crowd of kids to play bumper cars with.

Today's cure: acupuncture (but not on your "inflatable friend")

And a cheery "Hello!" to Bushy

Just for you, here is my Acronym Of The Day....

"Single"

Stay Intoxicated Nightly Get Laid Everyday

Good morning Pat, Bushy and Peter
Vegetables are all soggy today. The weather person has been shot due to the naffness of said weather and I am emigrating. Well off to playgroup anyway and that does feel like a foreign country. Speak with you all later. Have a good one.

Hello Magster (and all, especially Award-Winning Alistair W),

The average is healthier than can be expected for May, thanks. It's better than Pat's but not quite as good as Ricky Ponting's.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

A big fabulous hello to everybody! Tonight is yet another game in the Stanley cup semi-finals. My Ottawa Senators have got to win this one or they're eliminated.
Toast of the day----cracked wheat bread with chunky peanut butter. mmmmm
Fruit of the day-Frozen raspberries, eat as is! or make it in to a sauce to go with a marble chocolate cheese cake (we celebrate my brothers birthday tonight)
Actor of the day-Ewan McGregor, attractive but not overly recognised for his earlier acting . No one can crawl through a toilet or see dead babies like he can.

Hmmmmmmmm

Hi BoP,

Did you like EM in Moulin Rouge - his vocal talent was a bit of a bonus....have you seen Velvet Goldmine? My, that boy is FINE looking!

Hope your brother has happy time and plenty of