h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Which ones? Oh no!

That was promising...I was particularly pleased with the one about Clarkson indulging his xenophobia for the likes of johnston to enjoy with his pants down...but frankly my chances of it staying were not high.

Do you think johno's on drugs?

Have to go for the rest of the day...w**k is getting heavy. See y'all.

Ali...alright mate? Just time to say hi before i leave.

As you can see most of the discussion over the last couple of days have been on serious issues such as imprisonment and gay rape...ie bushy getting boned in the showers in pre-mod prison!

Sorry to disappoint you..not much left wing claptrap...lots of johnston baiting though. Have you seen his site, by the way?

Dr. S

Hello Comrade! Pull up a politburo and make yourself comfortable.

I was even Pre-Mod'd in here for a few days??? Can you believe it??? There was no shower "incidents" I should point out! Merely Pat, Doc and V Max indulging their imaginations a little too far again.

Doc, the johnston post is still up! ROFL!!

well .. couldn't resist it really given a few idle hours .. I wonder if he believes those Stella awards things that circulate on the internet? might be worth floating a fly on his pond.

Ah ha! Mr sturdgess, I presume?

Ali,

Wotcha!

Typical, I nip off for some weak lemon drink and a marmite roll (steady) and when I get back Ali and Peter S have popped in, the whole ij europost has gone bonkers and I've obviously missed something funny on FLN. Arse.

I'm sure johnston is completely bonkers!!

Ok then, own up, which one of you lot is Sally Ramsden then? Pat Pending is very quiet I notice at the moment!

Hi folks,

My use of the words 'poisonous lefties' was ironic, but PC vermin don't understand what irony is, do they?

Ian has the skin of an elephant. I find him quite hilarious and enjoy his posts because they are so pedantic (I disagree with him on just about every issue). The other day I suggested that if a burglar knew he (Ian) had a shotgun in his house, he would simply rob the house next door. Ian interpreted this as a huge climbdown, and an acceptance by me that there was nothing wrong with blowing people's heads off in the name of self defence. Excuse me???

PS: I think Ian is a BBC insider, btw.

Ali,

Ian's priceless. We're all of different political persuasions here - a "broad church" of sad little mickey-takers (Pooter puts it in much stronger terms whenever he drops in).

Actually, having read "johnston" for some time now I agree with Alistair. johnston is indeed a BBC plant!! An aspidistra if I am not mistaken?

He does get the most replies of anyone though I have to concede!

If he's a plant its a poisonous one. Possibly some kind of nettle.

No one can hold down a job and post as often as Ian does, surely? I also think Wendy Mann is a plant. Am I sounding paranoid??

I've been chortling all morning over the 'Euromadness...' posts. Thank you.

No one here is James Moore, I trust?

Hello all and Hello Ali!

(Just dashing in and out)

Hi Paul,

I hope I pass the mickey-taking test. I tend to use irony which doesn't work too well sometimes. Some raging nutter made a post the other day claiming the Asian Network was "racist". I replied to him saying something like, "A very interesting perspective."

Have you noticed how they all come out at night?

PS: I thought 'V Max' was a penis-enhancing cream!

Ali,

You obviously haven't read ian's home page!

We have a theory (as I'm sure you've realised by now) that he works in the car-park barrier kiosk at Morrisons or Buyrite, validating the receipts for free parking. This gives him ample posting time while holding down a job.

Slap a bit V Max on yourself why don't you???

Hello Sarnia by the way ..!

Ali,

The nutters DO come out at night for some reason, maybe there are more vampires about than the one we've already identified!

V Max is not a penis enlarging cream - its a penis substitute! (and my Motorcycle of choice).

There will be a game of "johnston" beginning tomorrow morning on the "...af" board. Like MC-H, there won't be any rules, gameplay or indeed outcome but everyone is welcome to join in...

Last one to make him say "OED" is a rotten egg!

Bushy,

I like the idea of a game where you try to get ij to use a word or phrase, but let's choose something harder than OED.

How about "colonic irrigation"?

Paul,

I saw the references to the carpark a few days ago. When I read Ian I can't help thinking of a rather stern Presbyterian minister or a retired schoolteacher from Gordonstoun who has somehow contrived to miss the 1980s and 1990s.

Whoever or whatever Ian is, he is a magnificent, larger-than-life stereotype. Johnston for president!