h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There's your answer V Max! It makes it all dreadfully exciting doesn't it (50s accent)? One knows Bushy has posted something, but what can it be? Ginger beer anyone?

Can anyone pick me up from the Pre-Mod gates tomorrow morning?

I am being released early!! Hurrah!! Not for good behaviour but more like because I am boring the pants off the lovely Mina, constantly waffling on ... I suspect it maybe a case of being bodily ejected from "clink" (as we call it in here!) tatty suitcase, bird cage, dog-eared copy of Das Kapital and all!

See you all tomorrow!

We can have some fun with this, a sort of "Guess what Bushy's trying to say" game.

I reckon, when the message is revealed, Bushy will admit the bikini bit was a complete flight of fantasy. What say you, PP?

I think he'll confess to having gone stir crazy and having acceded to every one of Mr Big's whim's.

It is not a flight of fancy!!

Mind you, maybe I did dream it... Do you lot know how difficult it is doing time in here like this? All day playing pool, listening to Jeffrey and his world domination plans, talking to sparrows! No wonder a chap is liable to be letting his mind wander over to "bikini related" matters? See! You lot are thinking it about it now and you're on "civvie" street (as we say in here!) ...

Oh oh! Jeffrey is waking up and I have nicked all of his "snout" to swap for jelly beans!

Later dudes!

Having read "The Swing Thieves", plus that one about defining islands, I'm starting to really doubt ij's sanity. He seems to have lost whatever slender grasp on reality he may once have had.

And that last post is Bushy squealing like a trapped piglet.

Confessing to crimes against cattle in the late 80s?

It's lights out here chaps!

I am going to try and nick this suit with the arrows on it as a souvenir.

Regards,

Norman Stanley Fletcher

Oi.!!

I heard that V Max.

I'll get me ball and chain ..!

Ohhhhh, ohhhhh, now I reckon he's going to ramble on about his imaginary friend, Mina...

NB: To anyone reading this guff at a later date, don't even try to make sense of it, you'll be able to see the postings we can't see at the moment.

Cor, listen to him howl: that boy's in pain, and no mistake.

...And you Mr Pen!

Some barrister you turned out to be! I was worried when you turned up with a ladies fashion wig on the first day and called the judge "Captain Beaky". I 'ad no chance did I?

Anyhow see you all tomorrow!

Erm... I suppose Brad doesn't have computers in his jail? Where is he? "HMP johnston" or something? Poor feller or what? A bloke on E-wing reckons they start at 4am with prayers, then it's a jog around the yard in your shorts, followed by breakfast of dried bread, more prayers then bible reading 'til 10. OED reading 'til 11 followed by prayers. No lunch and prayers. Sewing mailbags, prayers, bible reading and then hanging before lights out! He'll be hard as nails when he gets out in 300 years time and all for pinching a girls bottom???

I'll get me slop bucket ..!

Pat,

Dunno about you mate but I'm killing myself laughing here. Sorry Bushy, we shouldn't make light of your predicament, but I have this image of you shouting at your PC just now...

I can't take much more of this: keep it down in there you 2. Some of us are trying to read and don't want to be disturbed by grunting and slurping etc etc...

Of course, the last laugh could be on us: Bushy could just be writing loads of posts consisting solely of:

"This Posting is currently queued for moderation, and will be visible as soon as a member of our Moderation Team has approved it (assuming it doesn't contravene the House Rules). The Researcher who posted it is currently being pre-moderated, so all new Postings they make must be checked before they become visible.

You can find out more about moderation on h2g2 here".

Right, that's it, I'm off to enjoy my usual night-time depravities with Mrs me ("Cocoa, dear? Plump up your cushions?").

Back on the morrow.

Hey....it's past 4.30...what am I doing here?

Bushy...don't groan when Mr. Big is doinghis stuff...he'll think you like it.

Good question: what are you doing here Doc? Watch stopped?

I wish Bushy would shut up and just take it like a man: if you can't do the time........

Morning all,

Chipper?

Bushy, how are you adjusting to life "outside"?