h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Or be a Bond villain.

What make it even more surreal is if you read Brad's first line...

"and now LAdies and Gents a beautiful vision has taken the stage...who can it be?? "

...and the next posting is from McSqueel ! You couldn't make it up.

V Max,

It's madder than citing Star Trek in a serious discussion, and that's going some.

Well I just fully agreed with Ruth McSqueal ...

OI BUSHY, NO!

Don't rattle her cage. When she gets typing in a frenzy the Message Boards grind to a halt!

BTW,

It was only the bounds of good taste that led me to suggest "Since you've been gone", dedicated to Brad.

My first inclination was to dedicate "The Hokey-Cokey" to Michael Barrymore...

"You put your right arm in, right arm out, in, out, in, out, shake it all about"

Did anyone hear Barrymore on the Mayo show? I thought he sounded drunk.

ROFL!!!

I'm laughing me head off here with Brad's latest offering! McSqueal is squealing to the Noddyrators again! ROFL! Excellent work Brad, excellent!

They think its all over...

It is now.

Back tomorrow, ta for the laughs everyone.

Everyone's whineing on af now. And anyway, why are childrens' dress codes deemed light news? I didn't read anything about it in the papers.

Great work Brad.

Just in case everyone's gone home and the threads have been wiped by tomorrow morning, here's what people are saying on AF (oh, and yes, I am a sneaky, bitchy little man):

"re: Planet threatened by singletons Ruth McNeil - 513th post - 14 Jan 2003 17:21
Hi Philippa. I thought this was an interesting discussion. But unfortunately, as people who are interested in talking about the news, we seem to be in minority.
Thanks for the effort anyway. You never know -- just adding this extra post might make people think it's worth checking into. Cheers, Ruth "

[The Editor writes: dontcha just lurve that emoticon at the end?]

"re: Busted!! doug deep - 1860th post - 14 Jan 2003 17:55
Mods must we put up with these juvenile threads & posts,they have nothing to do with light news.This inane sense of humour should be on the teen board,just look at the threads thats on this board,theres only one thats got something to to do with light news..and thats 'school uniforms'.Its about time time was called on these juvenistic threads and get this board on track once more.And maybe then we could have more news items!!"

[]

"re: Busted!! Mel Simpson - 1828th post - 14 Jan 2003 18:04
Doug, the idiots are back. Who are they going to invade next? JULIA why do you pick on some decent people who are just enjoying a bit of chat and let these idiots reign free? Try to be consistent girl or move to another job."

["reign free"? Does he mean "free rein", or have we been appointed royals at no cost?].

Laters tatters.

And this just in from the "The Station" board, addressed to Simon Bendle - Host:

" re: john and louise Mel Simpson - 1827th post - 14 Jan 2003 18:21
Simon, why aren't you on the "and finally" board which has turned into a bloody shambles?"

PP - I have just seen those posts....oh dear!

CG,

Indeed, it's all gone up hasn't it? LOL!

GONE, GONE, ALL GONE.

It's 6.50 pm: and the cleaners have just been in to the scene of the crime and removed all vestiges of our existence. Anyone logging onto AF now will wonder what the fuss was all about. We've been airbrushed out of history. Glad I copied those posts above............

Night all.

well i for one completely agree with Mel and Dougie - shocking use of a messegeboard!

I resolve to post ON TOPIC on the morrow. I shall not deviate....unless I spy ij in leopard-skin posing pouch...in that case, I shall chortle discreetly...and run away holding fistfuls of intestines as sides split....Oh dear, the Titanium White has finally got to me.

I must away. I have a date with OO7.

Morning all....chipper?

Yes, I am first again, I'M THE MAN, I'M THE MAN....

Yes folks, seem to have missed v. funny 2 days but hey - I'm back to bring the tone down again.

BUM.

There we go. Good to see you back Brad.

Mornin' Doc!

Very chipper thanks, are you?

Brad had a bit of a Cole Porter evening last night which was dying on it's feet until suddenly exploding across the entire MB system! Only the usual crowd of eunuchs started whining and then it was gone ...

Hope you're feeling better!

Mild, light high cloud. Westerly breeze and squally showers. 8 celcius. Becoming wetter.

Morning Doc,

You've missed nothing. There was no amusement yesterday, and we didn't annoy anyone at all.


What's the weather forecast Bushy?

Oops: weather forecast already in.

I loved the fact that someone (see above re my update yesterday evening) actually went to a different board to find a mod to complain to!

Good lads and lasses. Keep it up. As if....

Speaking of which - Pat, you are the reprobate responsible for reeling off the ridiculous rumour that I'm rather receptive to Doug nazi. Here is a little slap for you -

Ker-CHAKK!

Right, carry on.