h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No ...quite a long walk anyway

Hmmmm..........Point taken. The walk would be too far with my bum knee. Must think of another way to get there.

Well how about being transported very slowly and gently by two winged guardian angels just inches about the sea and ground? Our press(ious) future Pope could surely do that.

As long as they are guardian

How about this:
We build a bridge across the pond.

Reminds me of a joke...

Some guy did something to earn a fantastic reward from the Almighty. Jesus appeared to him and in the fine tradition of the genies, granted our hero a wish.

'I'd like to visit Hawaii, but I can't abide either flying or sailing. Could you build a bridge?'

'Sorry, the engineering challenges are insurmountable. Do you know how deep that ocean is? Please think of something else.'

'OK, I'd like to be able to understand my wife, then.'

'...Hmmm. OK. Let's see...do you want two or four lanes on that bridge?'

tartaronne, in my state municipal library districts are independent political subdivisions of the state. This means that we have our own tax that has nothing to do with the city or county. But tax increases have to be approved by the voters. Which they did, thankfully.

When I'm Pope, I will take some of the Vatican's hidden hoard of goodies in the cellar vaults, sell them and buy a large cruise ship. I shall name it the HHS Possum Bluff. I'll pick up Lady C and Lil (and anyone else who prefers ships to airplanes) in Corpus Christie.

There will be some major changes made in Vatican City, I can promise you. For one thing, I'll need a Vice Pope. And a sheep I can trust.

And there will be ducks in the Vatican Library.

Woo-hoo!

Let's hear it for the duck and the sheep! I might be able to cruise on a ship over there...........I said "Might".

A bridge would be better. Lord C and I could drive our big old Grand Marquis over there then--of course that is provided we could find a gas station somewhere along the route..........

Don't worry, there's plenty of sheep in the Vatican. Priests always refer to their 'flock', and I believe to Christ as the 'shepherd'.

As for a Vice Pope, I'd rethink the Vice thing. Maybe Deputy Pope, or Asst Pope? Vice and the Papacy don't mix very well

Hmmmmmmmm. I suppose Deputy Pope would sound better. Thanks Jodes.

Better a flock of sheep I suppose than a flock of birds. A shepherd in the field surrrrounded by little woolly critters is more pleasing than an Alfed Hitchcock scenario with thousands of angry starlings bombing everyone.

Not quite as exciting though.

I've always thought the pastoral scene was a bit misleading. I mean, think about what they do with the sheep? Why make it all look so gentle and benign? And when you think of the symbology, you have the good shepherd - god - taking care of his sleep - us. Which means exploit us for our wool and then heartlessly slaughter us and consume our flesh.

So what would you replace the sheep with?

*waits for Hyp to sneak back in to remove 'L'*

Cats. More apt as a metaphor for independent-minded people.

Yep, being a church minister (which I'm not!) is often likened to herding cats!

I saw an advert on TV a few years back which showed an old Western trail drive, but with cats instead of cattle. I forget what the ad was for, but the image is indelible in my mind.

Indelible? I'll bet it is! Since herding cats would be almost impossible! s are very independent creatures. They would be running the Vatican if they were there. s

I've heard that there are parts of Rome that the cats already control.

Also, I notice that some damned monkeys are taking control in Delhi.