h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

all, O Mighty ing Thog! Who would give up a ing chance to be with the mighty ing god of ? Even if it meant getting one's ing brains ed out every night....and sometimes in the ing morning and at ing noon.
How do I ing know? Well, for 's sake, mate, we can hear you all the ing way out here! I've had to turn up the ing television several times to drown out the ing noise!
No pun intended.
Any fair maiden (heterosexual maiden, mind you) that could turn down the ing god of truly is a ing moron! Either that, or she's a tad sore from all the ing. Fear not! At least we've still got loads of ing virgins, all ready to on command.
Chuck us a ing beer, mate?

Awww... my sweet God of ... We're ing here for your dear! And we havn't 'n left you!

Granted... I have been ing busy lately, and ing stressed, but still ing here for you nonetheless - oh Great Soggy One!

So "bring it" baby and we'll the night away!

Woohoo!!!!

See, I ing KNEW I should have ing married one of my ing Priestesses... these mortal ing women are all ainlike -- all work, no .

Ah in well... ing lessons learned, right?

*tosses Madman a ing and an for good measure*



you mightily, Michele my dear . And yes, that was a ing offer

, me in s!!

Personally I like the idea of a in' marriage where I get my brains ed out at all hours.. who needs sleep anyway!

Don't worry, Thoggy. She obviously doesn't know quality when she s it.

Thog!
her if she can't take a ing joke!

Yes, well, if I ed her every ing time she couldn't take a ing joke, I'd be a much ing happier and well-ed er, I ing assure you!

Ah ing well. Serves me ing right for being so ing presumptuous as to even ing consider depriving all the poor uned women of the world the pleasure of my ing ability, right?



Batty, Michele, me two most able and loyal and ing y darlings, thank you for your support and . I'll be okay and fine and y soon enough, just going to take a bit of a to get over this... and yes, that can be taken in more than one ing way

you all

*pulls a gaggle of fresh virgins from the "top drawer" room*

Try these, you iness.. I got them from a new supplier - Five Virgins(tm) - satisfaction guaranteed or the next one is free.

But... if I wasn't ing satisfied the first ing time about, why would I want a ing free one???

Well, I'll sample them...
*looks in the top drawer dubiously*
I don't ing know... they look a bit ing scrawny to me...




Much to my dear s here!

. That's ing terrible.

*looks about*


What's ing terrible????

Now Thog, your iness.. if you keep being in' cantankerous we'll run out of virgin suppliers...

*scans the top drawer and finds a few rather voluptuous ones, blonde, brunette and redhead*

Here you go.. I found a variety pack for your in' pleasure.

Oh, That was my bad. I forgot to water them. I'll just go get some more.

*is still looking about, wondering what's ing terrible*


Ah well, it.

*eyes the redhead*

Hmmm... okay, Batty me , I think ye've done a rather y job of selecting a new supplier...

Well.. if you're still needing a or several I know a certain redheaded priestess who need a regular workout on the days I'm not working with my trainer.

OY! How 'bout a hand unloading these virgins? And maybe cough up a tenner or so to help with the bill? These aren't cheap, ya know!

is there a reason you forgot the male variety for the priestesses????

*starts to tap her maicured little bat feet and glare at madman*

Bob-dammit. See, this is why you never send a lesbian to buy virgins.

Great Thog Aly!! I hope she doesn't come back with a shipment from Goober's Virgin Trough like she did last time! The Virgin Bin smelled like motor oil and pig stuff for weeks and we had to give the other virgins treatment for ringworm and kennel cough.

I heard that!

<begins unpacking crates that have the words, "Virgil's Best of the West Virgins - Guaranteed to Satisfy Even the Pickiest of Priestesses (NOW WITH EXTRA INCHES!) Multi-pack (blonde, black, brown, red, albino, and sour cream 'n' onion)"

Woohoo!!! Way to go madman!

*grabs a variety pack and a bag of beer nuts and makes a mad dash for her "office"*