This is the Message Centre for paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 41

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant


She sold rats and hogs at a pest shop in the Typo Umiverse.

Angus McGobagle bougt kilty litter.

A cast member form "Hair" wanted an Aquarius.

The baker's wife neded a birdcake.

A backwoods sciebtist came for moose chow.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 42

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

"Roger!" Eddy exclaimed. "How's Planet Homovulex?"

Roger grimaced.

"Your tan indicates great beaches."

"True."

"The food?"

"Sumptuous."

"What's wrong?"

"Caught a virus -- makes men pregnant."

Eddy whistled.

"Got drafted next. Shrapnel wounds...morning sickness...misery."

"An extra hand, too. Looks useful."

"Maybe."


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 43

SiliconDioxide

Vestiges of the last technological collapse percolate down to us in the myths; for the exploits of our ancestors are beyond legend now.

Black hatted witches stole control and influence through powerful scripts and protocols, theft of biometric data and true names.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 44

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant


Memo to the Smiths about housecleaning:

Please remedy:

--Linoleum not washed since Christmas

--Dirty dishes in sink

--Stovetop unsanitary

--Dining table is greasy

--Rat poison left where children might find it

--Too many cats

--Insufficient cheese

Sincerely,

The rat in the kitchen


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 45

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

"The Quince Prince is throwing a Fall ball, said
Stepmother with a vile smile. Cinderella, rag hag,
your stepsisters need dresses and tresses."

Airy fairy and house mouse helped Cinderella.
The Prince, a raiment claimant, made the end her friend.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 46

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant


Random Universe Playhouse presents "Wedding Rinks."

"My snail cousins may be late," said Florestan Pooh.

"Why?" asked Aida Kardashian.

"They're six million parsecs away."

"They'll miss Figaro's rap zarzuelas then."

Massive snowflakes crushed both. (No one ever expects the next ice age.)


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 47

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant


Rhenda Snoff sits on her roof and ponders the infinite.

The Scotts across the street see her and do likewise.

The neighborhood and the city follow suit.

Soon the whole world is pondering the infinite.

There's a lot of infinite to ponder.




42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 48

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Maura Leslie Featherstone lives in Hilo. Her husband works for UPS and her son has Down Syndrome. When they vacation, they enjoy jumbo shrimp at a diner near the Little Bighorn River. Mr. Featherstone sometimes dreams of living by the Dead Sea.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 49

Reality Manipulator

*Ah bide in Pinmore wi' mah guidwife, dug 'n' son wha alang wi' me bathe daily in disinfectant 'n' whiles accompany wi' me whin ah travel by bus tae Ballantrae, Ayr or Glescae. Whin wur th'gither we converse in a secret code.

*[translation' I live in Pinmore with my wife, dog and son who along with me bathe daily in disinfectant and sometimes accompany with me when I travel by bus to Ballantrae, Ayr or Glasgow. When we’re together we converse in a secret code.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 50

Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor

smiley - snork


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 51

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

He: Woman, what would you do if I won the lottery?
She: I would take my half and leave you immediately!
He: We are in luck then. I just won 4 dollars. Here are two of them. And there is the door!

smiley - pirate


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 52

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Let's be mushrooms, you and I.
Cap plus stem makes one fun guy.

Let's make waves in rainy puddles,
Free of human cares and muddles.

At Gosford, Brideshead, and Downton, I fear,
You scolded me in front of the mushrooms, my dear.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 53

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Budget deficits. Soaring prison costs. Futurama Trust tried sending convicts into the future, hoping future society could rehabilitate them.

The time machine returned with saints and scholars.

"Are you rehabilitated convicts?" they were asked.

"No. The felons took over and evicted us."


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 54

Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor

smiley - snork


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 55

Reality Manipulator

I live in the town that time has forgotten
in the Twilight zone and Outer Limits
of SW Essex known as the Unitary authority of Thurrock.
Strange things regularly happen in this eccentric borough which are never reported in the national media.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 56

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant


Die, icicles, die!
Infest my roof no more.
Take, too, the snow that blights my roof,
To some far distant shore.

My hair you have turned white.
My back from shoveling's bent.
I sleepless passed each night,
A wint'ry night ill-spent!


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 57

Reality Manipulator

Winter is a bad time
with my sneezing and coughing
covered in menthol vapour rub
and trying to keep my sinuses
clear is a hard thing to do.
Counting the days until the days becomes warmer
Is what keeps me going on.


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 58

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

"What did the delivery man bring?" Mr. Grammarcy asked.

"The usual," Mrs. Grammarcy replied. "Onions, milk, bread,
beef, carrots, lentils, canned soup, orange juice, breakfast
cereal, flour, spinach, tissues, toilet paper, and a box of commas."

"Good. We're running low on commas."


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 59

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

What's the meaning of life for cats? Here are nine meanings for nine lives:



Garfield: Lasagna

Griselda: Memories

Dick Whittington's Cat: Chasing rats

Polar Bear: Greenpeace

Tigger: Bouncing

Cheshire Cat: Insanity

Sylvester: Chasing Tweety Bird

Pink Panther: Leaping

Puss in Boots: Adventure


42-word posts: stories, poems, etc.

Post 60

Reality Manipulator

My cat Simba relaxes by stretching his legs and purring gently on a mat. He excitedly plays with his toy mouse or jumps up trying to open the door especially when he hears the sound of food being put into his dish.


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