h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I thought I would bring in some hives,
To make sure my flower bed thrives.
The bees got confused.
My friends they abused,
With stingers as sharp as jackknives.

It's now or never for a get-together,
with Trevor and Heather dressed in leather.
They love to have good old blather about their latest endeavour
which is to talk about the weather when they're in the altogether.
But when they are at the end of their tether they look at the aether
as they try to become more clever which makes them feel light as a feather.

Elegy for a broken mug (decorated with owls)
--------------
Mug
Oh mug
Oh muggliest of mugs

Thine handle is broken
Thine rim is chipped
Thine coffee is cold

Thine owls have ceased hooting
But the stars are still shooting!
Worth to behold!

Pierce

Hooray for Ray who's a ray of sunshine
who plays lawn croquet outside the archway
in his garden where everything looks divine
for the perfect spring garden tea party.

I used to like playing croquet,
Until one quite horrible day
When my cousin Rick
Decided to kick
The ball through my family's buffet.

Food fight!

Joe hurt his big toe
that filled him with much woe.
He was trying to go with the flow
with his friends Flo and Mo.
It happened at the old château
where he fell over an antique plough.
It turned the rain into heavy snow
that tasted like wine from Bordeaux.

I stayed at a quaint old chateau.
I dined on the finest gateaux.
My room was quite cold,
But the faucets were gold.
I stole them and ran through the snow.

Running with faucets
through wintry forests
stolen goods don't leak in frost

The frost was frigid.
I rubbed the faucets with snow.
A genie popped out.

A blue-frozen genie
covered in snow
scantily clad
I pitied her so

How I was supposed to know
that I could do a lot more
than just kow tow to the status quo
which other people adore.

I don't want to just do what is right.
I want to tranform planet Earth
with the power of my second sight
that will active this world's rebirth.

I want to help the butterflies and bees
which help plants to pollinate and grow
and it will be done with great ease
that will make such a spectaculur show.

I will show you how life on earth could be.
You do not have to accept what's going on now.
There will be no pollution in the rivers and the sea
or in the land and in the air, for this will be my vow.

Can't you see all the new possibilities and opportunties?
All you have to do is become the change that you want to see.
The transformation will start with you and all the communities
which you must agree that it will fill you with much glee.

All you have to do as Commander Data said on the Enterprise
is make that big leap of faith and believe when other's don't.
Just look towards the horizon and keep your eyes on the prize
and through your progress you will mark each step and milestone.

Just join with me in my quest in starting this new eco revolution.
There will be an end to the daily grind if we are of one mind
by finding a solution through our physical and spiritual evolution
through all animalkind and humankind that will have our DNA redesigned.

We will have our dream come true by having it properly planned.
When this new world comes true we will be completely astounded.
Middle Earth will become true and it will be a glorious wonderland.
We'll have new abilities and powers but will still be well grounded.

My friends all polluted the river
With mattresses, cans, and a flivver.
The fish all moved out.
Today you'll see trout
At butcher shops buying chopped liver.

I don't know who I am any more.
I don't know where I have been.
All I want is superpowers galore
and wear robes that are coloured green.

I am waiting for the Terrigen Mists to appear.
I am waiting for my Inhuman DNA to be activated.
This will propel me to the next evolution frontier
when I'll have many wondrous powers that are highly rated.

"Oh, genie, I want super powers."
The genie spent hours and hours,
And when he was through,
I was stronger. I flew.
I also could cause April showers.

I turn round and round when I am with you.
My heart skips a beat as you begin to speak.
I sit in the church pew with Stu and Hugh
as you talk about the alternatives of using Teak.
You tell us that we need to see the wood from the Trees
and that when making our furniture to use only from eco sources.
We will then become the bee's knees and life will become a breeze
Learn old Norse on a correspondence course and we'll get many endorses.
You will tell us that we can make the earth shake when watching dawn break.
You then us that all things are possible by accessing our inner power
by having a short break by the lake which will heal all our heart ache.
This lake will be situated either in a park or garden with a majestic looking bower.
You tell us that we will able discover our true self and who we really are,
then we will able to see new possibilities of new radical ways of living.
We need to look at night to see the lodestar and life will cease to be so bizarre
and that we will be inspired to be more forgiving and find ways of reliving thanksgiving.

I turn round and round when I am with you.
My heart skips a beat as you begin to speak.
I sit in the church pew with Stu and Hugh
as you talk about the alternatives of using Teak.
You tell us that we need to see the wood from the Trees
and that when making our furniture to use only from eco sources.
We will then become the bee's knees and life will become a breeze
by learning old Norse on a correspondence course and we'll get many endorses.
You will tell us that we can make the earth shake when watching the dawn break.
You then tell us that all things are possible by accessing our inner power
by having a short break by the lake which will heal all our heart ache.
This lake will be situated either in a park or garden with a majestic looking bower.
You then tell us that we will able discover our true self and who we really are,
then we will able to see new possibilities of new radical ways of living.
We need to look at night to see the lodestar and life will cease to be so bizarre
and that we will be inspired to be more forgiving and find ways of reliving thanksgiving.

I went to the strangest bazaar.
The sellers all came from a afar,
With Witchhazel roots
And old bamboo flutes,
And grumpberries in a big jar

Our love will last forever which will make us feel light as a feather
as our two hearts will beat as one when drinking bourbon.
This will become our united endeavour to look up to to the aether
when we are both playing the bourdon when wearing a turban.

We will sit by the lake watching the sun rise.
Then we will both beseech the deities of the pantheon
that they will give us a sign of hope that will be a surprise
that will be a fawn and a swan that'll appear at dawn on the lawn.

My love and I sat by the lake.
Then I realized it was a fake.
The "fish" were all green,
And the waves tangerine,
Which they wouldn't be if I were awake.

I end my day and all i can think of is strawberries!
If i was an accountant or a computer scientist
-i would be worried!
But as i sit here, the sun shining through my windows and open door,
I feel glad i work on the land,
Growing food for thought, and and for the table fruit bowl.