h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Beast from the East
is gives us a snow storm feast.
This was caused by the cold weather priest
that the chances of getting a SSW* increased
which caused Northern blocking in the North East.
Then the weather forum complaints ceased.

The Beast from the East
will gives us a snow storm feast.
This will be caused by the cold weather priest
which aided in giving us a SSW* that greatly increased
which was caused by the Northern blocking in the North East.
Then the coldies **weather forum complaints ceased.

*SSW Sudden Stratospheric Warming
**Coldies people who live for cold snowy weather

This time of year we have a thaw.
The air is quite mild, and not raw.
The snow? It melts fast.
The thaw doesn't last.
A cold snap comes from winter's jaw.

Take a long trip to the rubbish tip
get a grip when eating a chocolate walnut whip.
Skip when dunking your potato chip into the chilli dip
which it give it much need zip and make your taste-buds flip.
Have an adventure in an airship that will make you look cool and hip
and get your inner creativity rip and become a character in a comic strip.

I dunked all my chips in some chili,
And fed all of them to my filly.
She kicked all her heels,
And gave out some squeals,
Then trotted around willy-nilly.

The weather will turn much colder
with frosty days that'll make you feel bolder
about venturing out in the cold sunshine.
This is giving all a wintry weather sign
that there could be a few snow flurries
which will flow with ease and be bit of tease.
At nights it will become very cold and very frosty
even adding sparkle to the bushes and the trees.

I'm waiting around for a flurry.
I hope it will come in a hurry.
Oh, waiting's a bore.
Got my skis by the door.
For warmth, I am eating some curry.

I want to you to make me feel
that I can do a cartwheel
when I hear the church bells peal
or when I am playing the glockenspiel.

Like I am the only girl in the world
who life plans yet to be unfurled.
I want to keep my hair wavy and curled
and get a picture frame that's knurled.

Like I am the one that you ever loved
whose hands are always gloved.
I am the only one growing purple foxgloves
and have a cove filled with collard doves.

Like I am the only who knows your heart
and that you like to travel in the milk cart
reading the works of Rene Descartes
while I deal with the dementors and a boggart.

Like I am the one one you call Ron
when you are on a fun run with a nun on the run
firing a blaster gun, phaser and ray gun
and telling a pun about eating a hot cross bun.

This snowstorm? A foot and a half.
Don't know if I'll cry or I'll laugh.
My car it will bury.
I cannot make merry.
The strongest of coffees I'll quaff.

I just stumbled upon this:

Draw a crazy picture,
Write a nutty poem,
Sing a mumble-gumble song,
Whistle through your comb.

Do a loony-goony dance'
Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world,
That ain't been there before.

[Shel Silverstein]

What better place to quote it but here?

I think I shall write something silly.
You see, my life's gotten quite hilly.
My yard now is frozen.
The flowers are dozin',
And snow seems to fall willy-nilly.

Golden brown textured like silk
as I wander alone at night having a fight
with my imaginary friend over a glass of milk.
I am with the mancheeros wearing their chinos
eating a large bowl of fruit flavoured cheerios.
Being chased around the campsite by a barrow wight
who performed the fright rite when in flight
with their ilk called wilk listening to recordings Acker Bilk.

[Sorry for the mistakes as I could not stop laughing when I was typing my poem.]

I see images of golden brown textured like silk
wondering alone at night having a feisty fight
with my phantom friend over a glass of milk.
I am one with the mancheeros who're wearing their chinos
eating a large bowl of fruit flavoured cheerios.
Being chased around the campsite by a barrow wight
who performed the fright rite when in flight
with their ilk called Wilk listening to recordings of Acker Bilk.

Improving things just makes them worse.
This may be an old gypsy curse.
These things become clearer
When viewed in a mirror, Or maybe I mean thne reverse?

The Duchess was said to be Dutch.
She spoke Hollandaise, but not much.
Her plates were faience.
Her tulips were dense.
Her cousins in Delft stayed in touch

Nothing will stay the same
when you gaze into the candle flame.
Dreaming of finding fame
by becoming a sorceress grande dame.
You will be able to cast the most powerful spells
and be able to produce the most beguiling smells
every time the door bell rings in the Elven* dell
and where members of the Ent race peacefully dwell.

*Elven - Professor Tolkien's Middle Earth's elves

Take a short break by a woodland lake
and have a slice of fruit and nut cake.
Go on a long leisurely walk drinking a pint of bock
and listen on your I-pod to the classical music of Bach.
Skip merrily to make yourself look cool and hip
and dip a potato chip into a tomato ketchup dip.

The sorceress waved her big wand,
And turned her hair's color to blonde.
Do blondes have more fun?
"Yes," she said, "Hon,
My suitors of me are quite fond."

The elven princess Sharil
sent me a gargantuan bill
she'd read my paw
in which she saw
that she wasn't in my last will

If none of my stuff you inherit,
I urge you to just grin and bear it.
My furniture's old
And covered with mold.
You'd also take care of my ferret.