h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Deadpool do you know Wolverine has an imaginary friend?
Do you know that Wolverine's imaginary friend is called Bub?
Will Wolverine's special relationship with Bub will last to the bitter end?
Will you see Wolverine and Bub at the pub or the community hub?

The chances that that might occur
Are slimmer than zero, dear sir.
Invisible friends
Can't be seen through a lens.
Through anything else, they're a blur.

Everyone is talking about new ways of walking.
Skipping as they go neighbourhood door knocking.
Listening to cats meowing that are all-knowing
about where time is slowing and where the wind is blowing.

The good, the Bub and the funny.

Bub has been in mourning since his loss of Wolverine.
He spends his time having a long sob over the oven hub.
To cheer himself up Bub would sing along to "Dancing queen"
when in the kitchen doing the dishes in the washing tub.
Since Wolverine has been resurrected life has become more meaningful.
Bub has taken steps to make himself visible and a real friend
to Wolverine by knitting jumpers using the best alpaca wool.
Bub has penned a book about his attempts to ascend the Carrick Bend.

I haven't the slightest idea
Why Wolverine is mentioned heah.
If worries I craved,
I'd fear that depraved
Mad bomber who runs North Korea.

Peace will increase with the arrival of the geese.
War and conflict will end when it becomes a bore.
Inner calm will come when clothed in a woollen fleece
and by walking by the shore listening to the waves roar.
Inner serenity will fill all with wonder and glee
when conflicts are replaced by coffee mornings
that end with a lunch meeting and afternoon tea.
There will be comedians that will appear without warning
and all will be wearing elegant long flowing robes and cloaks
that look like they are cosplaying characters from Harry Potter.
There will be many jokes and puns told by eccentric blokes
who are descended from Scottish Highland cotters.

Congrats for your elegant sonnet.
I'm heaping encomiums on it.
You praise inner calm,
Allaying my qualm,
I feel like a new Easter bonnet.

Thank you for your kind praise
and heartfelt touching admiration.
Your poems wonder and amaze
as they provide me with much motivation.
They inspire and delight me and all
with the way you use words and phrases.
They are full of imagination and are never banal
and inspire me to write creative essays.

We stand on the shoulders of giants,
Those gifted ones who taught us science.
Ideas we trade.
Our work ups in grade.
Together we work in compliance.

When will we go back to the moon
and what discoveries will be made?
Will the preparations start soon
or will it be in the next decade?
Will they ever have a moon colony
started by scientific astronauts?
Will it bring much hope and glee
to many who feel distraught?

I'm sending my trash to the Moon.
I hope we can send it there soon.
I've rinds from green cheese,
Some old BVD's,
And chili left over from June.

The long monologue telephone call

I dread the sound of the telephone ringing
because I know I will be there on for an hour.
I dread picking up the telephone as it fills me with dread
a the thought of a listing to an one-sided conversation.
Especially when I wish that I was in my large garden shed
which is where I keep my weather monitoring station.
To help me cope I will be quietly humming and singing
to your account of the current affairs news that's very dour.
It usual involves politicians and their failings
as well crime news in that faraway city of London.
Then I am told of celebrities who go off the railings
which I find to be so boring that it makes me yawn.

The long monologue telephone call

I dread the sound of the telephone ringing
because I know I will be there on for an hour.
I dread picking up the telephone as it fills me with dread
at the thought of a listening to an one-sided conversation.
Especially when I wish that I was in my large garden shed
which is where I keep my weather monitoring station.
To help me cope I will be quietly humming and singing
to your account of the current affairs news that's very dour.
It usual involves politicians and their failings
as well crime news in that faraway city of London.
Then I am told of celebrities who go off the railings
which I find to be so boring that it makes me yawn.

The telephone was first intended
To help you with those you've befriended.
Instead, all the ringing
Succeeded in bringing
The wrath of those whose sleep was ended.

The sun is having another outbreak of solar flares
and has created a giant hole along with some spots.
The Northern Lights will be witnessed by polar bears
and by professional and amateur spaceweather swots.
They'll be analysing the strength of the solar storms
and giving the final number of sunspots that are easily seen.
Looking through their equipment watching different forms
of solar flares and storms that make a magnificent scene.

The lamp lies down on Broadway
leaving darkness on the edge of town
The villagers turn to their torches
and watch all the aliens frown

My poor telephone has just died.
It fell on the floor on its side.
It continues to ring,
But I hear not a thing.
The receiver, I think, just got fried.

The weather forums have gone into meltdown
over short term weather model speculation.
They have greeted some of the runs with a frown
with so much disagreement causing so much frustration.

First snow of the season approaches.
A mass of wet snowfall encroaches.
We're used to it here.
There's no need to fear.
The Newbies can get some snow coaches.

On the first day of xmas
my love gave to me
some salt and a shovel
to keep ways to my hovel
accessibly easy for she