h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Howling winds, go where you are desired.
I want you not, I wish to be retired.

2720 and beyond!!!!


by the window
the snow outside
falls silent
the two radient stars
in the night sky
dance together
like morse code
brilliant twinklings
the fire crackles
inside by warm shadows

thats you two btw!

No dancing for me.
My back hurts like .
I need a
And a little more sleep.

I run and skip when eating a large bacon flavoured potato chip.
I dance the jive with groovy Clive who's doing the high five.
I dunk my sugared doughnut in a chocolate and orange dip.
I strive to learn how to do a swan dive & format my disk drive.

I sit by the river Tyne drinking a glass of well bodied red wine.
I then eat a large lump of stilton cheese which is quite a tease.
I always eat 100% chocolate that tastes divine because it's all mine.
I wear a silk chemise top to the delight of all the honey bees.

Learn how to live well and more authentically.
Learn how to sing a new awesome and cool mantra.
Learn how to dress well and stylish automatically.
Learn how to boogie down with the people of Sintra.

It's well below freezing.
The wind numbs your feet.
The snow's mounded everywhere
All down the street.

Let us leap forward into success and abundance
by sending out our positive energy and thoughts
as we go on our life's merry dance as we take our chance
by sampling wisdom and knowledge from the world's pots.
And by accessing the universal paradigm success code
it will shift our focus and our view point and reality.
We'll have our minds and bodies tuned to the right mode
which will dramatically improve our health and vitality.
And as we focus our energies on the law of attraction
it help us develop our latent talents and skills
that will give us a great deal of pleasure and satisfaction
when gaining our superpowers which will give us much thrills.

Should have read as:
And as we focus our energies on the law of attraction
it will help us to develop our latent talents and skills.

La Dolce Vita
The thrills of new skills
New words in new worlds
Strangers lips unfurl
Bright sunny mornings
Grey cold sleet on the home
Parties of friends drinking wine
Still mornings alone
La Dolce Vita
All roads lead to Rome!

My turn:

It should have been :

Grey cold sleet on the way home

All of the roads lead *from* Rome.
You need them if you're to get home.
The Appian Way
Has suffered decay.
There's rust in your poor Fiat's chrome.

I am an anomoly
For when in Rome
I drive a brand new 2CV
Mingling with all the little fiats
As i round the colossium

You have entered the Twilight Zone of Rome.
Here all the homes are topped with giant domes
which are made of chrome and are guarded by gnomes.
The gnomes are all called Joan who wear eau de cologne
and love to have a good old moan on the phone about Tone
who sits all day in his garden on a 6ft throne made of stone.

The pines of Rome,
The fountains of Rome,
Too many for me,
Won't they leave me alone?

I am a star in New York where they are all very fond of eating Pork.
I am a star in LA where Hosea has an all singing and dancing toupee.
I am always greeted by a marabou stork with a toasting fork
and a bouquet of red roses every year in July on Bastille day.

I am living my life to be young and free and wail to like a banshee.
For there is no room for a man in my life or for love and romance.
So I will sail the seven seas and sit under a desert island tree
and ponder how to improve my finances by doing the money dance

Please take me out to the ball game
where all the moves are the same.
Their caution makes the game tame
but as long as it doesn't hurt their fame.

I tried to sail the seven seas
But could find only six.
Where's the seventh hiding, if you please?
Send info to me at Fort Dix.

I am over you always being first in the cinema queue.
I am over you always being at the front church pew.
I am over you not wanting to eat my vegetable stew.
I am over you when you keep on calling me Hugh.

Because I have got a funny feeling that the ceiling
has been completely covered in orange peelings.
And that I have been given the power of self healing
which has greatly increased my romantic feelings.

Super power child
Stronger than titanium
Warmer than split uranium
You leave me spinning
like a saloon door
A typhoon
Ripping up a dance floor
There is no getting away from
The whirling maelstrom
That is your eyes
Pulling me under
Dashing my heart asunder
Then leaving
As the spring sun's warmth dissapears behind a cloud.

My secret self healing powers gather
Waking me, from a dream,
The traffic light turns green
The last of the crossing walkers
Flee, before the wheels of the automobile.