h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Brilliant poem Vestboy

Let's run with the wind in our hair
as we are young and free.
We'll even learn to live in harmony with kodak bears
who are now sailing the seven seas
to make their fortunes in faraway lands
selling their wares of honey and salmon.
Some have even started their own jazz bands
and even have become experts in playing backgammon.

"I can't cook much," said Mother Bear,
Just salmon pies and honey.
I tried some blueberry souffles,
But they just came out runny."

"...And then I cooked a circus clown,
But he just tasted funny."

I tried to cook Rabbit, wasn't funny
Just turned him into ,one Hot

I was known as a bunny boiler
I was mean as mean can be
I chased my man across the land
From the mountains to the sea.

I ruined his life
and scared his wife
His kids I did deceive
I used his pin to get his cash
And that's what made him grieve

But no, he didn't kill me
I made him blind and eff
When on TV he saw me
Compete in Master Chef.

When's jump and hop in Oz
Do they leave the planet so
Go floating into outer space
Does anybody know

So if you have 's in Oz
Have they grown some furry wings
Enabling them to fly back to earth
And with the Kookaburra sings

Every little beat of my heart makes the ground beneath me shake.
Every time I'm reading the Exchange & Mart in my go-cart.
Every time I'm walking round the lake eating a chocolate flake.
Every time I'm in a museum looking at exhibits of fine art.

All I want to do is go and lose myself in a Harry Potter book.
All I want to do is imagine that I'm a hobbit living in Middle Earth.
All I want to do is cook some freshly caught snook.
All I want to do is travel to Firth where I'll go through my spiritual rebirth.

The rabbits of the world,
Their glorious flag unfurled,
Will march across the globe,
Lit up with disco strobe .

Then the United Nations
Will hear their long orations.
The delegates must bear it
And then donate a carrot.

I like the thought of your carrot donation
Extending kindness to the ‘s salvation
Making them nice and fat
The World’s powers, will be happy with that
The United Nations declares so, in oration

"Let us help the rabbits eat well,"
Say those from rabbit-eating lands.
"The soup pot gives a glorious smell.
Soup's on! Time to wash our hands."

I’m ready; I’m nice and clean
stew in pot I glean
Your right, it does smell well
We'll both eat it all, no others tell

Winter, Thinker and Paul I like your combinations and uplifting tone!

Ferret About

"There's a ferret about!" said the bunny, alarmed.
"If you stare at them closely you end up becalmed.
"You can't run away and your panic subsides
"Till they kill you and eat you and worse things besides!"

"Pray tell," said companion, with glint in his eye,
"How you would recognise this predative guy?"
"Oh, easy," said Peter who puffed out his chest.
"He says things like 'pray' and 'tell' I would have guessed."

"Indeed" said the long one with teeth sharp as flint
"Are there any around? Do you have any hint?"
"There's one really close," the coney confirmed.
"I can smell him right now: he should be dewormed!"

"And have you no fear of this cruel, fearful beast?
"Who'd hypnotise you and make a great feast?"
"I've worse things to fear than a creature so smelly.
"Like how to get out of this huge badger's belly!"

There is a rabbit called Babbling Babbit
who is a great hit as a humourist and a wit.
Is very fit when training with her friend Gambit
who plays poker and has acted in a comedy skit.

But Babbling is known as a very wise bunny
who has produced magical healing honey.
If you take it life will seem more funny
and will make a cloudy day more sunny.

for everybody, even the rabbits.

Please can I, have some more
Of bunnies honey store
Honey wasn’t my favourite jam
The lad next door loves it and he’s called Sam

He told me how it made thing much better
Especially if on toast with lots of butter
So spare a spoonful if you can
For being in the sun and happy will help my tan

After the bees all die,
How will we obtain honey?
When overdue bills fall from the sky,
Where'll we find enough money?

Thank you Paul .

The bees need to have a hero
which will save them from their demise.
Who will not except the word no
and will go and ask advise from the wise.

Will find a way to combat the parasitic fly
that has been infecting all the bee hives.
But we'll find a remedy that we'll apply
to make sure that the bees all thrives

Varroa Mites kill honeybees.
Someone find an answer, please!
Native bees can pollinate.
Bumblebees are also great.

Lots of clover in my lawn.
Bees work hard, begin at dawn,
Big and little, yellow, blue,
Pollination work to do!

Car driver William heard a hum from in front
It niggled his nerves and made him to grunt
He flicked all the switches and all knobs he twiddled
The noise continued - however he fiddled
He took out a spanner and loosened the wheel
The gearstick came off, well that's no big deal
The handbrake dismantled the car held its poise
But still he could hear that troublesome noise
The carpets soon came out and so did the seat
The wheels off, on axle stands, t'was no mean feat
He took out the windows and seat belts and lighter
The noise just continued but he was a fighter.
Then just as he noticed that he'd near made a sonnet
He heard, "Gee, Bill! You've sure got a bee in your bonnet!"