h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"I admire the Spice Girls' marketing. They never had to play live."
-- Christoph Doom Schneider

Currently listening to: my own bitter rants and raves. I am having a very irritating evening. It started out well, but in the last 6 hours, it just got terrible.

First of all, I get caught typing swear words into the babel fish translator at school (now you know what I do all lesson) *looks very stupid* and only managed to get myself out of a detention by pretending I was translating a word from a German website and there was general confusion as to what it meant, in the end it wasn't so bad. She seemed to believe my story and even let me off an order mark, which was a relief.
Secondly I saw a picture of my friends new 'beau' Well, normally I'm critical of the people my friends date but this guy seems... well, okay. Dare I say it, even though we don't get on. The only problem is, he lives far away and I'm afraid this isn't going to work out for her, and I'm not just saying that because he hates me (and oh boy does he hate me)

~~RANT OF THE DAY~~
~TOPIC: Killing creativity~
Our school recently got a grant from the education board to turn our school into a Business Enterprise College, meaning the basis of our curriculum will be focused on ICT and Business Studies. Which means, less money will be going towards the arts
It all started when they took away Drama lessons, it's now only possible to take Drama for GCSE but up to then you can't have a single lesson. The next step in destroying every possible way for us to channel our artistic nature is the demolition of our art room. Yup, looks like the Drama and Art rooms are to be demolished to make way for ANOTHER computer room. Music shall be next to go, is my prediction. In fact, I believe the music rooms are also to be demolished (my fears are yet to be confirmed)
It seems that our school has lost all means of expression... there's only a limited number of ways you can express yourself using a computer. Academic subjects are also being pushed to the back. Looks like after this year, I won't be staying on for my A-levels, I'll probably go to another school, unless I can take the courses I want here. Psychology, English and Biology. I've got my mind made up already, with another year to think about it. But Drama and art aren't possibilities any more. So...

Well life has been uneventful. Another two weeks to go before I can start getting excited about the holidays. I know what I'm doing, and I'm looking forward to it muchly. Hopefully I shall be able to get out and about this summer, last year things weren't so good and I avoided doing anything. But this summer looks set to be the best yet.

Muse Muse Muse! I've already booked tickets... how sad. Ah well, sure the concert's in November but it's better to be safe rather than sorry, but one things for certain, I'm going and it looks like I have front row tickets (that's what you get for booking early) So excited, I can barely contain myself. I will avoid getting really excited until I have the tickets here in my hand, which won't be for another few weeks (31 days for dispatch and they come on general sale tommorow) Wow! Yey!

Ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: The cat's purring as she tries to cuddle with my keyboard Ooh, now she tries to eat the earplugs of my minidisc.

Oh, getting caught with surfing at school Haven't we all been there? They usually let h2g2 pass as it's an "info"-site, but I'm in for a bad time each time they catch me on a music website, like www.kaizers.no or my own for that sake

Wow, I'd be so mad if the school cut off it's cultural classes! Aren't anyone objecting to this? Surely, if your school is getting more computers, that would mean they got more money, and if so, they should learn to share equaly with other classes Thankfully, the school I've just left won an award for its new thinking, so it had plenty of money for art rooms, musical instruments, etc. Only they wasted most of the money on things that looks good on paper but is just plain silly now; Like a great fountain in our schoolyard, only they don't have enough money to keep it supplied with water, so it has never been on

Well, the band course didn't seem to be as bad as I first suspected. It finished yesterday with a concert where I had to sing () our newly composed songs, respectfully called 'Kinda our song', 'Norwegian summer' and 'Mr Fluff', the last one being a weird song You can read my latest journal entry if you want the whole story.

Ooh, how good it is to have some free time again. It's been such an exhausting week, and I'm actually not feeling too well. This whole day will go to just relaxation, listening to LPs (I've finally figured out the record player) and maybe go down to the pizza place for dinner *Pleased sigh*

One week from now I'm meant to recieve the letter letting me know if I'm accepted into the school of my choice, so I'm trying my best not to look like a nervous wreck Lillestrøm, Lillestrøm, Lillestrøm, pleeeaaase....

Hey, you got tickets to Muse! Can I come? Puh-leease ... Okay, so be that way then. Actually my brother would be the perfect one to accompany you - I can't think of anyone loving Muse more than him

Toodles!

"Let's go for a David Schwimmer in the Justin Timberlake"
--something I heard on MTV2 (how very sad that I remembered)

Currently listening to: Justin Timberlake, "cry me a river, yeah, yeah... cry me a river"

Well I think I could give your Brother a run for his money Not only do I know Matt Bellamy's favourite sexual position (courtesy of Bob*) I also know all the tracks back to front. I have to say, this is my first time seeing them live. I'm somewhat nervous, I dread to think how nervous I'll be on the night (considering the concerts well over 4 months away) Mind you, I wonder how nervous I'd be at a Rammstein concert.... It doesn't bear thinking about

(* Whatever happened to him, I don't know. Overdose? The most likely answer, ah well, he'll be missed)

Hey, if you're interested, Muse are doing a couple (or one) concert (or concerts) in Oslo around October time. I'll have a look to see if I can find you information... lets see... there! I'd get in there quick if I were you, it's the 15th October in Oslo at Rockerfeller http://www.billettservice.no

Well our Art projects had to come home today, bless em. I have made a life size plaster sculpture of the upper part of a male torso (It was either that or try and keep a straight face while moulding a woman) Our art teacher is so angry about the whole fiasco that she won't even speak about it except to say "This is stupid, so stupid I can't even begin to tell how..."
But, at least we get an extension on our coursework, which in mine and Lucy's case, is a VERY good thing (you think my sculpture sounds big, her sculpture is three times the size of mine)

I did something rather foolish I went shopping with my Mother, I knew it wouldn't be fun when she hid my portable CD player (new, off Vicky, for £5, bargain) I felt rather hyper though, so I didn't drag my feet or sulk or anything. In fact, as the music was so good in Marks and Spencer's I started dancing around the underwear department. I got a few stares and several laughs, so it was a productve shop after all. I suggest you do it, it works best in a old ladies shop or something similar, anywhere with really bad music is fine. For extra added comic effect put on a large sun hat, glasses and scarf then attempt to breakdance.
Needless to say, Mother's never taking me there again

Well it's my Drama assessment tommorow. I've learnt the script and now all I have to do is find a costume Did I mention I'm a 7 year old boy from the 1940's? Yeah, so, that may be a challenge.
I'll have to give you a breif run down of the script sometime. It's possibly the weirdest play ever written, full of really dodgy sounding lines Here are a few examples that could easily be taken as sexual innuendo:
"Oof, I be puffed"
"Oi could have kept going for anouther undred miles"
"My glasses is all steamed over"
&
"Who's gonna give it to me then?!"
It's also full of lines which we have made to be innuendo even though it doesn't sound like it... par example, Raymond who is a wimp and a bit soft says one line:
"Let's pu-pup-pretend..."
and someone buts in and says:
"Oi, be the Italian, aye, that's a gud un"
I imagine him to say:
"actually, I was going to suggest we dress up as girls and brush each others hair"
So now, whenever it comes to that line, everyone bursts out laughing. Ahh, I'd better go find my kicking boots, some short trousers and an apple.

Ta
-Nate

Currently listening to: Myself humming an educational song about insects I haven't thought about since I left kindergarden, going somewhat like this:

Hello! All insects and all small creatures
You who creeps and crawls and flies
I'm a human and I am nice
We could play together if you want to

You see what awful morals I grew up with? PLaying with bugs Don't you hate those educational songs they teach you as a child? I've grown up with such demented things like 'No no, boy' (about taking your hat off when you're indoors), 'A grasshopper father and his grasshopper son' (about being content with your height), 'The dung beetle and the fly' (about intergrated marriages) and not mention 'Itsy Bitsy spider' Only in the Norwegian version he doesn't climb up the water spout, he's crawling all over your hat! Why do they all have to be about insects anyway? (Yeah yeah, I know spiders aren't insects )

"I'm somewhat nervous, I dread to think how nervous I'll be on the night"
Oh, I get that too. It's really frustrating, - if I'm really looking forward to something, I keep telling myself "Everything must be perfect. Don't get sick now. Don't throw up..." Bingo. I swear, my subconciousness is plotting against me - But this hardly helps you, does it? Just relax and breathe, and focus on events that are closer in time... Like the fact that I'll recieve my school letter in possibly two days from now, telling me where I've been accepted. Right now, someone's sitting at an office in a dingy building, discussing to and fro my FUTURE! My education and LIFE! *Wheeze*

Ruh-hight. Okay, shopping with my family - I hate those things too. The minute I step into a H&M clothes store, I clearly feel my energy is drained out. I feel annoyed, tired, irritated, short-tempered and all that is horrible with the human kind. I usually go to sulk by the dressintg rooms. You had a good idea there, though, I think I have to steal it to make my own scheme so I don't have to follow my sisters to the clothes store to find the ultimate pantyhose

Well, I feel like I've had quite an uneventful period in my life now, and as I'm a bit short of time, I'll just present you with some discoveries I've made the past few days. Some of them are weird, some of them are dead boring, and some of them doesn't even fall into a category.Do ask if you wonder about something

1. Amphibians are cool
2. Walking past a British celebrity is enough to make a two page-followup in any Norwegian paper
3. Adam Sandler should be tortured, raped though the nostrils and finally executed with electric shocks
4. The Norwegian princess is pregnant and rightfully, nobody gives a damn
5. That dude down in the music store remembers me even though the last purchase I made there was two months ago
6. There actually was a dinosaur Man have chosen to call 'Irritator'
7. Sitars are impossible to draw
8. When relatives makes such a fuss over your unannounced visit, it's only because they're happy they have an excuse to eat cakes
9. Somewhere in time I'll own a Volkswagen Beetle 60s model, preferably blue
and 10. Smiling to tourists makes an excellent hobby

Oooh, you must tell me all about that play - you'll find nobody appreciates hidden and non-existant innuendo like I do (except, probably my sisters) Besides, I got to check if my innuendo-metres are dammaged after I listened to Wings' 'Hi Hi Hi' ("Errr, did he just sing about his... 'sweet banana'?" ) So come on, tell me all about this sick play were you play a 40s school boy

Toodles!

"You're a bloody genius"
-- James, when I managed to get the hyperactive 10 year old to leave us alone for half an hour. (long story)

Currently listening to: "swing swing swing on the something la la..." I can't remember the lyrics, but when has that ever stopped me?

Every year my parents get together with a group of friends to have a party. They take it in turns to have the party at their house. This year it was up in Birmingham. They have one son and a daughter (who is travelling around in her gap year so couldn't come). The son was being paid to look after the little kid from another family (I believe I have already ranted and raved about her several times, remember my rants and complaints about Rosalia?)
Anyway, he would have rather been anywhere else in the world, as would I. He shut her up by giving her large amounts of coca cola. BIG mistake. She was bouncing off the walls, running around screaming and yelling. It got so bad that he had to resort to alcohol in order to make the situation bearable. He's 17, he should be able to handle it.
Anyway, she reached a peak and when she started asking him if he wore a bra and if he was gay he started to sink into a deep depression. She then wanted to do a play about a woman who works on a farm and then has 'sexed'. How a 10 year old kid would know all this is beyond me! He looked as though he was going to jump out the window. So I suggested that she go and practice her play in the pool room so we could see it in an hour, she agreed this was a good idea and ran off in a caffinated frenzy to practice.
I have never had someone look so genuinely thankful and happy. In your life people will often say thankyou, but very few will actually mean it, this was one of those times when it was definately meant. Slowly we managed to get outside and hid towards the back of the garden with a box full of assorted drinks. It was so quiet. So amazingly quiet. It was actually quite scary, going from so much noise to a sudden quiet like that.
Pathetic really. He could handle a 10 year old girl as well as he can his vodka. We fell asleep in the living room ( I was too scared to try and get past Rosalias room) and I woke up at 10.00am and he about 1.00pm, with a killer hangover apparently. We then spent the morning/afternoon making fun of the tabloids that someone had brought over and wishing that I could just go home and he could get his bed back (A guest was sleeping in it, and might I add, got amazingly drunk and wet themselves, but I didn't have the heart to tell him that. He was so much looking forward to getting his bed back I didn't want to deprive him of that by telling him that someone had urinated in it.)

Well, I finally obtained permission (not exactly) from my Dad to use his computer for a bit. When I say 'obtained permission' that means he's away for a few days so won't find out. I've never missed my computer so much... we have a new one but it has no internet access and is rather useless at the moment.

ARGH! Oh that's gross... you can tell it's a guys room 'cause there's a cup of half drunk coffee with mould floating around on top. That's nasty, why can't he just take it down stairs with him?! Eww.

The play went very badly. Very badly. Everyone forgot their lines. We missed out several large chunks of the storyline and nobody noticed except for me...
"Let's go find Donald duck and have some fun..."
*everyone starts to go off stage*
*Nate realises*
"Him av got olf of a box of matches 'n' all!"
*everyone pauses then they start to catch on and walk back over*
"Um... have um willie?"

Then I had to talk to myself when nobody was answering...
"No wonder her do knock him about...."
*long pause*
*nobody answers*
*silence*
*Nate looks around and coughs*
*nobody says anything*
*sighs*
"Uhm,... Him set alight to their coal shed.... mind, twas only when she shut him up in it though..."
*person realises they forgot their line and gives an apologetic grin*

And someone even managed to do their scene at completely the wrong time...
*behind stage*
*whispers*
"Psst, what scene's it now!?"
"Cripes, I don't know!"
"I know..."
*walks onto the stage*
"WAIT!"
"No Luce, not yet!"
*the rest of the cast watch in disbelief*
"DAMNATION"
"She's not on for another 5 scenes!"
*sob*

So all in all, it was a complete disaster. Actually. I got a B. And my improvisation mark was an A So I guess... It wasn't that bad after all.

Well, I've been busy. I was intending to redecorate my room at some point so I emptied all my stuff out... it took less time than I expected so I was sitting around picking at the wall paper wondering how long it'll take me to strip the whole room... I picked some more and started pulling off bits, bits turned into whole sheets, until I picked up a scraper and was doing the entire room. so I got a tiny bit carried away. Anyway, now all I have to do is clean everything and put up the backing paper then paint and lay the floor...

1. Amphibians are cool--of course, who says otherwise?
2. Walking past a British celebrity is enough to make a two page-followup in any Norwegian paper-- Les Denis is enough to make a two page followup in any English newspaper
3. Adam Sandler should be tortured, raped though the nostrils and finally executed with electric shocks-- well duh!
4. The Norwegian princess is pregnant and rightfully, nobody gives a damn-- I'm sure the father does... whoever he is...
5. That dude down in the music store remembers me even though the last purchase I made there was two months ago-- business is slow?
6. There actually was a dinosaur Man have chosen to call 'Irritator'-- running out of names?
7. Sitars are impossible to draw-- not as impossible to draw as air
8. When relatives makes such a fuss over your unannounced visit, it's only because they're happy they have an excuse to eat cakes-- who'd want to give that opportunity up?
9. Somewhere in time I'll own a Volkswagen Beetle 60s model, preferably blue-- my cousin owns a VW van... the ultimate 60's hippy family transportation... in orange too
and 10. Smiling to tourists makes an excellent hobby-- of course! I do poses too...

Well, I guess I'll be seeing you when you get back from the UK. Why are you going there anyway? Blooming English, bunch of pansys if you ask me..

ta,
-Nate

Hide away your mint chokolates, for Tilly's back!! Ooh yeah! *Dances around in circles*

Currently listening to: The family's daft fight about what to eat for dinner - none of us have eaten all day, so we're all beyond starving and can't agree on anything we all like...

Well, to make a long story short, we've driven through North England (where we stopped a while in York to scare hell out of mum's childhood friend Pauline) and then up to Scotland where we've mostly benn complaining about how dirty all the towns are... So in conclusion, I've done lots of touristy things, like
- been sick in the Highlands, where I connected with a sheep
- walked to the top of York Minister, where I connected with some gargoyles (turns out we use the same grooming techniques)
- Got hooked to Neil Gaiman's 'Sandman' comics (and everyone scolds me for calling them 'comics' instead of 'graphic novels')
- Fell in love with Paddy, a servant at a Pizza Hut which I totally failed to encapture with my natural charm and beauty
and mostly staring big-eyed at Glasgow inhabitants that speaks a language I can't understand even if my life depended on it...

Anyway, I have a favour to ask you concerning, of all things, newspapers. Each time I go to England I stand hours just staring at the vast number of different newspapers you have over there, and I feel this sting of nostalgia for ol' Norway, where there's just two major newspapers with a nice design and where the paper is actually stapled together... So please, do you have a tip for a newspaper-addict? "Which one is right for me?"

Well, as my grandmother used to say, "The outcome will be good. Or bad." Your play seems very intriguing though, and you must give me the gist of it sometime Also, like the theatre instructor said when a friend of mine slipped onstage and fell into the orchestra pit, "That didn't happen... That didn't happen..." A very good theatre mantra, I'm told

Sorry I sound a bit inconclusive and confused, but I woke up at 5 AM today to catch my plane, and I've just come home. I need to sleep

Toodles!

"Angels live, they never die
Apart from us, behind the sky
They're fading souls who've turned to ice
So ashen white in paradise"
--Rammstein, 'Engel'

Currently listening to: Myself singing the new song by Muse... Stockholm Syndrome... *puts on her Matt Bellamy face* "this... is... the last time I'll abandon youuuu... and this is... the last time I'll forget you... I wish I cared"

Well howdy, nice to see we're both back. I have my new computer and you have returned from that awful little country England...

The right newspaper for you? Ooh, that's a hard one. Well, if you want something very simple and easy that gives you an insight into the mind of the average briton, I suggest the Sun. I, myself, wouldn't touch it with a barge pole, but if you want to know what kind of trivial rubbish people concern themselves with over here, then take a look. Never buy it, don't waste your money, just read it in the shop then dump it.
If you want something that will provide you with a detailed insight into what actually happens in the UK besides the latest news from the Big Brother house, I suggest a broadsheet, the The Guardian and The Observer are a good way to start.

Not much has happened while you've been away. I went on a quest for the holy grail of paints... black satin emulsion. The man at the counter thought my Mother was mad In the end, as we couldn't find any, we got the place to mix some up. I spent the rest of the day painting some of my walls black and avoiding splattering the black paint onto the freshly done white walls Which I didn't do very well...
I've decided my room is going to have a very minimalist, retro, 60's, futuristic air to it. I'm trying to find a print of Andy Warhols 'Natalie Wood' to... give my room that certain, something or other.

Tommorow I'm going on holiday for a week. I'm going with my friend and her family to some place by the coast. It total I think it's going to be me, Lucy, 10 of her brothers and sisters, her Mum and Dad, Aunt and Uncle and eight of her cousins. She has about 42 cousins in total. That's a lot of people! It does mean I get away from my parents, which will be lovely Ach, I'll be missing them after the week...

Well I'd better go and try to group my clothes together.. in a suitcase or some form of container ("Natalie, why did you bring all your stuff in tupperware?")
ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: Myself humming 'Goodbye yellow brick road' for some undefined reason "You know you can't keep me forever..."

Ooh, you're painting your walls black? *Dons stoned hippy expression* That's so cool man! Seriously, I love the effect you get. I'd do anything to get rid of my flowery, blue walls
But the plans you have for your room sounds impressing... I can't redecorate my room for a year now, the contracts signed with my blood So anyway, how big is it? Mine is terrifyingly small, I haven't got any room for all the posters I want to have up...

Well, you have fun on your holiday, I'll just stay put here and evaporate in the heat
Toodles!

Currently listening to: something by Placebo, can't keep up, I'm too tired to pay attention..

Ugh, don't you just HATE it when people hint at you? I'm talking to someone who wants to be included in mine and a few friends plans for the holiday. It's pathetic. Have you seen the sketch with Graham Chapman, John Cleese and Micheal Palin in which GC wants a lift home from MP but instead of asking straight out litters the conversation with hints and prompts.
"It's really coming down out there... I sure could use a car right now.. I suppose I'd better get a taxi... although they are VERY expensive"
and that sort of thing. Well, a few of us intend to go to Brighton and this other person keeps on hinting at being invited. It's a lot of fun. I won't ask her of course, if she just asked straight out.. maybe I'd consider it. But as she isn't... I guess there's no way she's coming. *evil grin*

Well, after I'd come back from holiday I arrived home to get a shock. My parents had finished my room and put in all this stuff! Wow. It looks great. They even framed one of my bigger posters! (Leon) Which was nice of them. I'll have to take a picture (I'm that sad) before I mess it up

Woah.. heat wave! Crikey, was it as hot over there as it was over here? It was so bad our train journey was lengthened by an hour cause the trains had to go slowly so the tracks didn't buckle in the heat. Plus I had to carry a VERY heavy bag/suitcase, a sleeping bag and rucksack. PLUS I was wearing three layers! A t-shirt, shirt and a coat (because I couldn't carry the last one as all my hands were full)
So, I was trapped on a very hot, very slow train, standing up holding all that crap, for three hours, in a coat and jeans, getting severely uncomfortable, while trying to juggle a book and then a magazine to pass the time away (Micheal Moore "Downsize this" then a copy of Private Eye once I realised it was slightly easier to hold)

Well, I'd better start the long and pointless task of moving all my stuff (rubbish) from the spare room into my newly refurbished bedroom. Then I have to figure out some means of storage My Mum's possessed by the eveil spirit of a stoarge salesman.. she keeps on going on about storage in which I can store (and I quote) "your smalls, your makeup and all manner of things!"

ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: The CD that where recorded at the band course, you remember? Gad, what a hangover! "I sound like that?!" "Oh dear, my voice cracked..." "Oh, that was where I lost the beat, that's right..." And first good recording of me singing. I mean, not "good" as in I sung well, more in the "good" sense where it isn't disguised by hisses and crackling... My dear, if I have one message for you before I choke, it's, "Never agree to be recorded on a CD which will be sent to a lot of people and might scar your career for life". Go in peace...

Nah seriously, it's good to have someone to rant away with again. I've been roughing and slumming in a cabin with Tine and my dad. And I climbed a mountain *Glows in self-worship* Only it wasn't really a mountain, it's more like that, what do you call it? The thing that's a lot taller than a hill and pathetic comparing to mountain. Anyway, I gasped my way up there in the heatwave and scribbled some stoned and nonsensical sentences into the book on the top. I feel I've done my duty.

Crikey! How did you survive that train journey? All I can tell of is driving down from the cabin in a lunchbox-sized, aircondition-less car under the sun with Tine (I repeat, Tine) driving the car. Gad, you can see the impression of my fingers as I clasped the side door Yes, Tine is up for a driving lisence [Insert shocked and terrified gasp/shriek here]

Well, now I'm going to be listening to the band recording some times over, and then perhaps slip in for a shower. It's been a long time

Toodles!

"A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with." --Tenessee Williams Currently listening to: the bonus track on my 'Live Aus Berlin' DVD. Depeche Mode's 'Stripped' covered by Rammstein... "Metropolis, has nothing on this, you're breathing in fumes, I taste when we kiss..." Gawd, what an accent... listen to Till sing in English, very verrry strange... pleasant... just an... odd.... accent... I'm ashamed. There was something I didn't know about Till Lindemann It was something really interesting and useful too... *sob* I didn't know... that Till Lindemann... the most amazing chap in the world... had written... a... book.... a book.... of... poetry... And what makes it even worse... is that... It's not available over here to buy... it's in German... and what I have seen translated... is well... brilliant. There's no other word for it... it's amazingly good. I also know vast irrelevant peices of information which I won't bore you with. But I can't believe I didn't know that... *looks sad* I'm a failure as a fan... I've brought shame on the irritatingly obsessed fanatic society... Well, that's quite a puzzle. Something "that's a lot taller than a hill and pathetic comparing to mountain". Hmm. Well, as I have no idea, I asked around. It would appear nobody else has a clue either... I asked around on your behalf (cause I sure as hell don't know the answer) and I got some quite interesting answers: Tanya (Existential Elevator):a minimountain? A very big hill? Mat: Meh? Vic: Uhm... a big hill? Well, nobody else was online. So until I can find some more willing test subjects, I guess you'll have to settle for a mini mountain. I suggest that if you have Windows NT 4.0, Windows 2000, Windows XP or Windows Server 2003 operating systems you are extremely careful when surfing. We've just managed to get rid of a virus which basically stopped us from using the internet (don't panic!) http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/F19585?thread=306294&latest=1 Thanks to a fellow researcher who found the link I was able to get rid of it. So I seriously suggest you make sure you're computer's protected. This virus is pretty nasty, if enough people get it, then it could be that on Aug 16th every Internet able person with the virus will try to access the same website (a Denial of Service Attack), ie. microsoft, therefore crashing the net. We wouldn't have spotted it if someone hadn't sent me information on it. Phew, talk about a close one! Oh no, not another one! It seems everyone is learning to drive at the moment. My Best Friends Sister, my friend J and some other siblings of friends etc. All I can say is, 'run'. By no means get into the car with her, at least 3 hours after eating or if you have a heart condition or are pregnant. I used all the above exscuses to avoid getting in the same car as all these afore mentioned learner drivers. Ta, -Nate

Currently listening to: Kaizers Orchestra, 'Katastrofen (Frøken Sudine, kom deg ut)' (="The Catastrophe (Miss Sudine, get out)") Hmm. I wish I also had a dialect, it would sound much better when I sang in Norwegian... I've just got my dull tip-of-tongue 'R's, and nothing like those cool back-of-throat rolling 'R's the singers in Kaizers use. Of course my favourite dialect is the kind Prof. Petter has, after growing up in a little town at the South coast of the country or something -- Gad, how I miss him

Sorry, don't know where that came from. Anyway... Have you got a picture of that Till guy? Ignorant little me aren't quite sure how he looks like *Old woman voice* "Dear, those kids nowadays - only cares for looks. Nothing like my youth, I tell you - when it snowed in August and the roads were paved the broken glass..."

Hmm. Right, then, I climbed a mini-mountain... Hey, that actually sounds quite good "Mini-mountain-mini-mountain" Rolls quite off the tongue, doesn't it? Anyway, in Norway it's called a "kamp", but I don't know what that is in English, and I'm too lazy to look up the dictionary. "Kamp" also means "fight", but from there it gets all too confusing ...

Thank you for that link. I'll keep it just in case, I really don't need a new virus-attack on the computer I always get blamed - what on Earth for? I may be the only who uses the computer, but that shouldn't speak against me, right?

*Groans* This is my last week of freedom. And I can't for the life of me find anything to do, that will make this a worthwhile and interesting vacation... But then I am the only one in the family who quite enjoys doing nothing, so I usually uses the last week of the vacation to make myself look really adventurous - it was in such a time I first dyed my hair from light-blonde to black... Oh, and I don't remember telling you, but now I can be extra nervous before school starts, as I now will start at a completely new school with none of my friends *Nervous titter* It's, ah... It's quite terrifying really But just to assure myself, that is just what I did with Løkenåsen - completely alone and self-dependent. At least I got into my first-choice subject - Media and Communication, which entitles me to be anything from cartoonist to radio spokeswoman. Good, 'cause I haven't the slightest idea...

"It seems everyone is learning to drive at the moment"
Yes, I might just be one of them. Not car, mind you, but the much smaller and more pathetic moped. Nothing's signed yet though - it costs damn much money, and I can't handle anything mechanical or I'll chop a hand off

Toodles!

Currently listening to: My Mother talking really loudly on the phone Jeez, they can hear you. No need to shout! I'll drown out the noise with... uhm... urr...

"Do I have a picture of Till?" Hahahahahahha! Tilly dear, I have a couple more than one.. Although, I'll have to find you a suitable one.. I don't want you getting the wrong impression. I think, to play it safe, I'll show you a reasonably normal one at some point. *snigger* I'll e-mail you a good one as soon as I find one.

Happy Birthday to Alfred Hitchcock. Who, although through his hatred of women due to his own lack of self confidence which usually led to him venting his frustrations on the lead female, made damn good films Happy Birthday Alfie.

Oh dear, going to a new school, not fun I have another year of compulsory eductaion and then I can run off and work as a toilet cleaner or stay on for A levels then go to college... if I so desired. I have another 2 weeks and a bit... lucky me...

ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: 'Unchained melody' for some nostalgic reason...

Response to the picture of Till:
My oh my... Yes, I can see how that can get the attention of a teenaged girl. "Reasonably normal" eh? Now you go about waking my curiousity...

Ooh yeah, a bit late - but here's to Hitchcock And did he really not have a navel?

Sorry as this had to be a very short post, but Tine just came home from her car-lesson and she expects me to be a bit social
Toodles!

Currently listening to: something by some angst ridden teen band Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. Let's change channel... Good Charlotte... Justin Timberlake... Sean Paul... Meh. I guess I'm going to have to play the DVD again Poor me... it's not that I want to listen to the most amazing band to come out of europe... but I guess I'll have to...

Well, I won't send you one of the guys looking not so normal... in fact, Christoph is wearing a skirt... Hmm, I'm all for 'getting in touch with your feminine side' but... isn't this a tad sad? Got to say... pah, I fail to see how people can be scared of them. I also fail to see what's so scary about Marilyn Manson. I think he's just another fake idol of teenage rebellion. He's just what the Sex Pistols were to a previous generation, another band making money out of teen angst. He'll be forgotten in five minutes.

What's that about Hitchcock not having a navel Can't say I've heard that before...

Well I'd better go. I have to deliver something to a friend. Her Birthday present, three months late It broke so I had to replace it, which... took a while... and I sorta forgot.. to return it to her... heh heh

ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: Some song by Outkast, I'm surprised to find out...

Well, there's a circulating story I've heard a couple of times that Hitchcock didn't have a navel for some reason or another I have no idea how true it is - just one of the few rumours that seems to stick...

Ugh, tomorrow - my last real day of freedom before I have to find out how it is to begin at a new school all over again - I have to go in the combined birthday of my sister Trude and her daughter Martine I'd really like to just waste that day on something entertaining, but sadly I have a duty as a member of the Clark family... Oh well, I better go in with my head high and my minidisc by my side I s'pose

Silly little me have shopped on an impulse again... You haven't got any idea who Pádraic Pearse is, do you? It seems I have bought a framed picture of him from a second-hand market I shop pictures the way other shop homeless animals - I find something which I'm pretty sure no one else would want, and then I can't help but spend my last bobs on it - like this faded portrait of a guy I have no idea who is (save a name printed at the bottom), but which I fully intend to hang in my bedroom. With my luck he's probably a nazi leader or something

No, hang on - after a quick search I made out that he was an idealistic Irish poet *Relieved sigh* Can I pick 'em or what? Hmm. But it seems like he was executed in 1916, so maybe it wasn't all peachy I need to look a little more into this *Dons Sherlock cap*

Right, this meaningless and frustrating post was sponsored by Pearls toilet paper. My appologies

Toodles!

"Be honest, does she like me, or does she want me for my body?"
--Man made out of Allsorts.

Currently listening to: an advert for Bassets Allsorts (see above)

As you can tell, I'm starting to run out of quotes. I've had to resort to using bizarre and random ones. Heck, matches my personality

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply, I've been rushed off my feet and no sooner have I started to type up a message I've been called off again to do some other random task or job. So much exam coursework, it's been driving me insane. So far I've managed several essays, a sculpture and a book full of sketches. I'm quite pleased with myself So, how is this new school of yours? Terrible? Awful? Unbearable? Or was it rather good?

Just got back from the sea side town of Brighton. They have the coolest shops there. Last time I went I didn't have any money so I went back and bought everything I'd seen that looked remotely interesting. So I ended up buying an inflatable norwegian blue parrot in cage, a print of the film poster for 'Dracula', some cow print material, a superman school bag, a reservoir dogs action figure and a length of blue and green striped fabric.

Pádraic Pearse? Crikey, no idea. Keep me up to date with that.

ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: The church bells a-ringing Well, I live mright beside a church, so that'll teach me...

Ooh, a sculpture eh? I'm just going to be a bit weird being all inquisitive about it - you see, it's been quite a few years since I made anything sculpture-ish that wasn't made of paperclips So, what materials did you use? What is it representing? Did it turn out good? Will you sell it on e-bay saying Cliff Ritchard made it? Right, I'll stop now...

Well, the new school seems nice, actually. All the teachers on my line is really swell, very friendly and easygoing. I haven't had any general tutoring teachers (Math, language and so on), but appearantly my English teacher is, in fact, English - so now I'll be in real trouble Oh, and my Communication teacher is quite cute actually, he even got a stutter which makes him adorable in my eyes

I'm in a annyoingly good mood today, mostly of three reasons:
The Pianist has FINALLY come to this country (no thanks to the Cinema Selection Board ) and my dad has promised to take me
I might just get to the theatre and see The Importance of Being Ernest today.
Yesterday, first time for many months, I spotted mysterious Kosovo-Albanian guy I got a crush on (Nah, he still didn't notice me staring dreamily at him for hours )

And that concludes tonight (no, just a final thing: I've discovered that there is no Norwegian equalent of the word 'suave' This calls for immidiate action! To the barricades!)

Toodles

"The sexism that we are accused of is for us only a kind of 'saving' the women. We are just trying to understand the emotions of a woman and then show them in that extreme way, that it really is."
--attributed to Till

Currently listening to: 'Bowling for Columbine', I bought it relatively recently at a discounted price. Not bad, not bad at all. Although I may have to

Well my sculpture's quite dull. I couldn't be bothered to do anything overly ambitious, so I ended up doing the shoulders, neck and head of a random person. I was looking at it after I had finished... and I had the strangest feeling I'd seen it before. Then it hit me My statue looked like Jasper Carrot... If you aren't familiar with him, Jasper is a British comedian who was at his height of popularity around about some time in the 70's. I think.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1575000/images/_1579328_carr_150.jpg
So, I've decided to name it after Jasper. I can just about remember this sketch he did, about the nutter always sitting next to him on the bus... I can't find it anywhere, if I could remember it I'd tell you.
Anyway, it was made out of wooden blocks with clay moulded around the outside so as to add support and use less of the actual clay (costs a bloody fortune!)

I was sauntering around the internet and I came across another Rammstein fan site ( I hate fan sites) and so naturally, I head towards the photo page. I was looking at the lead guitarists page (no point in using their names 'cause nobody knows who they are) and it struck me how much he looks like a cross between Satan and that chap who used to be on Eurotrash. Surely it's not just me?
http://www.planetrammstein.com/fr/photo/viewpic_10_2_5.html
I'm always hard pushed to find a picture of Till that I haven't already seen or that is mildly interesting. But I've found one! Heh heh, and boy is it a gud un! Till Lindemann going backwards down a water slide with his swimming trunks starting to fall down.

Well, I still have masses of homework to be getting on with. That and I want to start work on my ICT (because it involves making a website ) Just my art and Drama to do now... just...

ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: Theme from 'Limelight' on strings. Ahh. I need something relaxing after a hard day Plus I've found out how rewarding it is to rest my tired ol' feet on the computer's bass player - Teeheehee! It tickles!

Hmm, well if your sculpture looks like an old comedian, why don't make it a serie? Mass production, baby! Who wouldn't enjoy the torso of a comedian from the 70s adorning their fireplaces? Today, failed art project - tomorrow, copyrighted cult symbols..! Right, I'll stop now...

Ugh, I've had a long and tough day It was so for several reasons;
- I started the day with math. There should be a law against that. At least the teacher seems competent, if a bit frightening (He concludes each sentence with, "Is that understood!")
- I then followed up with biology (and the teacher is old and slow and talks... so... incredibly... slow. Someday I think I just might strangle her)
- During lunch break I used my last coins on a chokolate bar from a vending machine but the bar got STUCK IN THE MACHINE And there's a fine against rocking the machine, so I could only leave with the thought that whoever used that machine next would get two bars...
- In Communication class (wich I actually enjoy) I found I had forgotten my text book
- And in conclusion of the day, PE.

Right, that also concludes the whine of the day. Now I can focus on the more positive things, like that the teacher with the stutter (Rune's his name, by the way) has the exact same sharp intake of air when he's thinking, like Prof. Petter has Oh, and he calls me Tilly, which is a nice thing.

But, I haven't eaten anything today (as the planned chokolate bar never got in my hands) so I'll head for the kitchen for a culinary delight (or more like burned toast with butter)

Toodles!