h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"In America sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it is a fact."
-Marlene Dietrich

Currently listening to: The latest addition to my CD family, Radiohead's 'Planet Telex'...

"You can force it but it will stay stung
You can crush it as dry as a bone
You can walk it home straight from school
You can kiss it, you can break all the rules
But still...
Everything is broken
Everyone is broken"

No, got it in one. Sex, copulation, wham bam thankyou ma'am! I didn't accept you'll be pleased to know. It was a friend of a friend, and it was said in all sincerity. I know my haircut looks good but I didn't realise it was that good... I didn't take up the offer for many reasons:
1. It's a ludicrous
2. I have no desire to
3. I didn't actually like him in that way
4. I could barely keep a straight face as he asked me, what would I be like if I was stupid enough to accept?
When me and my friend got home I couldn't stop laughing, we were both rolling around on the floor wetting ourselves. Poor guy, I never did tell him in the end...

Love is on the brain at the moment, not in a disgusting way I can assure you. Just that I've had some very weird dreams, they reminded me of Carry on Films crossed with every Monty Python sketch on the subject of fornication Scarreeeyyy! Last night I dreamt that Jack from the White Stripes was a schitzophrenic, one minute yelling at me and on the verge of strangling me and the next minute walking into my bedroom, getting in, giving me a hug, then leaving and retiring to his own room. Not sexual I know but very weird none the less. It then went on to give me a clue as to what would have happened if I took up the offer from the friend, in actual fact, no sex took place It was all running around, me yelling and hitting him, and then me stalling so much he gets tired and leaves.

I have to update my currently listening to status! "You do it to yourself, you do, and that's what really hurts, is that you do it to yourself, just you, you and no one else, you do it to yourself, you do it to yourself.. yourself.. yourself.." Sorry, I just love that song.

Well I'd better go, I can't type and listen to such a good song all at once without getting up and making an air guitar
ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: John Lennon singing 'Oh Yoko!' I don't know why, I just had this perverse wish to listen to bad songs...
"In the middle of a shave
In the middle of a shave I call your name:
Oh Yoko! Oh Yoko!"

It's not fair! I want to turn down sex too! Allright, we'll see who offers it first and then we'll take it from there... I'd be shocked if a friend just asked me like yours did, though Imagine how that friendship would turn...

Hmm, the only dreams I can remember from the last nights involved
A) Math
B) My final math exam
C) Coming too late to my final math exam
And now, all I have to say is: If anyone mentions another number I'll strangle him/her!! Sorry, but I've just come home from my final math exam - F-I-N-A-L, as in, the most important exam ever I'm so sick of people saying that this exam will change my whole life from now on - it's just yet another test, and I'm finished with it now, THANK GOD! Sorry if my writing is somewhat peculiar, but I've just been at school for many hours figuring "How tall is Hildegunn when her transevstite brother Jim is 3 times smaller when he wears his green pumps?" Get out of my head, I say! Out! If anybody wants me to think logically one more time today...!

You can tell I don't like math, heh? Well, I'm going to lie down now and rest my battered brain while listening to some... uh, maybe Paul Simon - anything without logic
"Mr Beerbelly, beerbelly
Get this muts away from me
You know, I don't find this stuff amusing anymore..."

Toofles!

"If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we would find some other cause for prejudice by noon."
--George Aiken

Currently listening to: My sniffs and a song full of woe and strife. I have something to tell you... My walkman has died and gone to Cd player heaven I can't believe it! I've had it so long... I suppose it was time for it to go, it was rather old and was actually held together with tape... So here's to you Cd player... Radioheads 'Iron Lung'
"Suck, suck your teenage thumb
Toilet trained and dumb
When the power runs out
We'll just hum
This, this is our new song
Just like the last one
A total waste of time
My iron lung"

Maths. Maths. Maths. ARGH. I. HATE. MATHS. Please. Let. Us. Drop. The. Subject. Immediately. Shudder. Numbers. Ugh. I would rather sell my liver than look at anything to do with numbers. No, nasty numbers. I don't do numerical

Well it's nearly work experience. I didn't get a single place I asked for. My first choice was a bookshop, I didn't get it. My second choice was a hospital, I didn't get it. My third choice was physiotherapy, I didn't get it.
So I was forced to pick from the last few jobs, such things as working at McDonalds, Safeways, Garden Centers, Childcare, Junior school, and washing old people. So I chose the least painful sounding Childcare one, and she told me it would be fun.
Today she comes into our English lesson to tell me that I couldn't have that place after all and I'd have to pick from the very last of the placements. I was furious. Not only was I the very last person to find out that their placement wasn't accepted but I was also the person whose second last resort placement wasn't accepted either.
Now I'm working at a nursery school Grrreeeaat, the very last thing I would ever choose for a career (Except maybe working at McDonalds) So I'm so pissed off at that.
What really got my angry was that my friend had found out that her placement was no good about three weeks ago! Giving her way more notice to sort out a placement, and then I was told nearly a month later that I couldn't have mine! All the remaining good jobs were taken! So I had to make do with the stupid crap jobs that nobody wanted.

This has got to be the worst week of my life, bad marks, negative comments, enough pent up frustration to kill a horse I've been so depressed this week. I went a tad insane and tore up all my art work, tore my clothes, not to mention severely messed up my room. In a fit of sheer frustration and anger I deleted my personal space and generally messed up everything I own.

I'd better go, I need a nap. I'm dead on my feet,
ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: Myself humming 'As times go bye' I've calmed down now, and things start to look like I can overcome them... "You must remember this; A kiss is just a kiss..."

Anyway, let's hang our heads low and keep the precious memories of those who are not longer with us. Big men and women, and a... CD player Well, I guess the appropriate thing is to, eh, maybe put a black CD on your desk or sumethin? Hang on, I'll see what I got... Okay, the only black CDs I have are the Best of Tom Jones and Kaizer Orchestra's 'Evig Pint', take yer pick.

Uh-u, we've soon got that work-stuff to do ourselves, but this year I've decided to turn in an application for a couple of days off - that's the good thing with our flexi-time deal, I can just do that. I've decided to do so partially because I am sooo tired at the time and could really use a break, and partially because I've experienced the same thing as you B****h when that happens, there are several stores I've completely boicotted after they turned me down at the last minute - and that's why I never buy anything from Amy's Photo Boutique among other things

I see you're a bit down at the time, and since I know how it is myself, I don't want to tell you all the clichès like "Keep your pecker up" and "It can only get better from now on, you know", so I guess I can only tell you what I told so many others today to make everyone lighten up at the exam: If all else fails, quack like a duck! That, and the Harpo-ish "Honk, honk!" is the things I've said most times today. And you know, the twenty-sixth time you've exclaimed "Honk, honk!" at an inappropriate moment, you really start to lighten up

All that probably didn't do you any good if I know myself right, but as a last resort, I have this link:
http://www.polsoftware.com/polsoftware/Downloads/fishtales.exe
That's the best reason I haven't blown my lid during the exam-preparation, that's why I got it bookmarked. I guess it appeals to the romantic in me... Go on and read it

Well, I really, really want to go to bed now - I've got a cold that could freeze up Sahara and a major headache (but at least I can celebrate my first exam is over - until the aural one in a couple of weeks, of course )

Toodles!

P.S.: Oh, I nearly forgot! The Post is out today

"Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were."
--Cherie Carter-Scott

Currently listening to: BBC Radio 4, The Archers.. "doo doo doo do do do doo da da da da da daaaa daaaaa" We've abandoned the television in favour of the radio, which has turned out to be a enjoyable experience.. we were listening to people's complaints about subject material and this one man was very upset about the fat jokes that had been told on some programme or other, he said something like "I was so angry about the jokes that I had to calm down before I could go out and eat my dinner..." That had to be the funniest thing I have ever heard

Hmm.. the best of Tom Jones or Kaizer Orchestra's 'Evig Pint'... It's not really much of a contest... I don't think my CD player would appreciate being remembered by a Tom Jones CD... Well, the only black CD's I have are Mutter and Sehnsucht... hmm...

Well I'm back for a bit, as it's half term I'm not very busy so I've been sleeping, ranting (you'll hear more about that in a minute) and drawing. It's Sarah's Birthday on Sunday so I have been trying my hand at girly shopping, needless to say I wasn't very good at it... I kept on walking into the comic and book and weapon combined shop... so I'm sure Sarah will love her copy of 'Spiderman' and her short sword

Just a quick rant because it is particulary boring and nobody else was interested:
~~RANT OF THE MOMENT~~
SUBJECT: Rammstein's official site
DATE: 28th May
Me being the music lover that I am, frequent many a band website in order to recieve tourdates and so forth. And in my many a visit to such sites have I encountered such a corrupt system... in order to get onto the site I am required to pay out cash and give them all my personal details... I can't believe out of all my heros that Rammstein have sold out. I'd expect it from Muse, who incidentally turned down an offer from Nestle to use their music in a coffee advert because nestle exploit farmers in the third world (Nestle used it anyway and are now being taken to court by Muse over this), but not Rammstein. I'd even expect this from some soppy pop band... but I did my research and not even the Blue website required payment (www.blueofficial.com)... I understand that this payment enables you to get discount merchandise but it's still an awful lot to pay... you're better of going to Camden and buying your T-shirts there... *shakes head* Why are all the good ones corrupted?

Ah well, I'd better go. I want to buy Micheal Moore's 'Stupid White Men' so I have something to read this week...
ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: Tine's agonizing moans - she's studying for her Norwegian exam...

Ah yes, I tend to have a problem with girly shopping as well - if I'm in one of those makeup shops because the brithday girl tipped me to get something for her, I panic and desperately try to get out, just the hell out of that shop... Oh, but I can't see your problem - I know I would just ADORE a short sword *Ahem*

Hmm, I'm not too familiar with the subject of your rant, but I know one thing that might be even more annoying - when A) There isn't an official website at all, or B) There is one, but the only thing there is a flashing 'Under Construction' sign Puh-leez, they could at least put up some information, a biography or just SOMETHING...!

You know that thing that's on those 'Remember Vietnam'-thingies? You know, "I know I'm going to Heaven, because I've been in Hell allready"? Well, I think I'm sharing some percentages of that same feeling, because Wednesday we had on of our school's Theme-days. That's when you study one subject the whole day, and do you know what the subject was? Sex. And the sad thing is, we had the exact same subject last year. And the year before that. And the year before that I'm starting to get the basic idea, thank you!!! I'm starting to think the school is "sex-obsessed, and will lead this country to galloping ruin" cross-quoting a bit And the education videos..! God, not those! Once a year we are forced to sit in our classroom with our teachers, some of whom we deeply respect, and watch the story of "Jessica and John, who felt the time was right". Eeuurgh. To make matters worse, the nurse has to ask us afterwards to see if we understood the contents. UNDERSTOOD the CONTENTS! God... "So, can anybody here tell me what an 'orgasm' is?"

Sorry for the rant, it's just that I think I'm scarred and traumatized for life after that ordeal

Oh, and my house and its inhabitants are currently in a war with the local birds. The first sign was when our cat sat in our garden, minding its own business, when suddenly a little larch or whatever, dives screeching like a bombediver, claws outstretched and swished only millimetres from my little puss's ears. Repeatedly - and I've only seen eagles doing that - not small birds after a cat! Me and Tine found this unacceptable, so we found our waterguns and threw water after it each time it dived. I'm pretty sure that didn't help much on situation, but admittably it was very amusing as we were yelling "You mess with our kitten and you mess with us, featherbrain!", etc And then we thought it had stopped with that, only now the birds have found a new way at attacking us - I swear, they are aiming and shitting on our windows. I know they're aiming because the never hit anything else, only our windows - and my bedroom window in particular. This means war - I'll go find my 'Rambo' head-scarf at once...

So much haven't changed much around here - exam's coming up, Tine is in nervous spasms, the cat is keeping indoors and I'm going mighty paranoid Same old, same old...

Toodles!

P.S.: I see our mutual friend zell is back

"[Abstract art is] a product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered."
--Al Capp

Currently listening to: Radiohead's new song 'there there'... "Just cos you feel it doesn't mean it's there, someone on your shoulder someone on your shoulder, there there.."

I couldn't agree with you more on the schools being sex obsessed! It's the only thing we're really taught, I know far too much information than I feel comfortable knowing To be honest, all this talk about it rather puts me off... I'll just save myself the bother and lectures by becoming a nun.

Jeez, I leave you alone for 5 minutes and I come back to find you're at war with nature. I'm going to have to lock you in a darkened room where you can't worry anyone, or harass the world and it's inhabitants with water pistols... this isn't the kind of mature behaviour I'd expect from someone like you... Hahahahhahahahahah

Remember me complaining at great length about the British governments policy about Citizenship being compulsory in schools here? Well we got our test results back... and what did I find? I got an A in it Well, it wasn't exactly a hard thing to accomplish...
I have got crap marks in all my other subjects so far (I'm praying my Drama and English marks are good enough to restore my faith in humanity once again.. I haven't got those ones yet)
It's really very depressing when the only subject you do well in is the most pointless... I mean, I can't exactly put THAT on my application for Cambridge!
*sigh* Ah well... can't complain... at least now I can boast that I am a good citizen... Yeah... you're right, it's not going to get me anywhere.

I'd better go and get my lunch, I felt really ill so I came home from school early, missed Art, English, PE, French and Graphics... so it didn't upset me a great amount.
ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: Paul Simon's 'You can call me Al' "He says, 'Where's my wife and family? What if I die here? Who will be my rolemodel now my rolemodel is gone, gone?'..."

"this isn't the kind of mature behaviour I'd expect from someone like you"
*Snort* Yeah, sure

Well, I've just recieved my final marks from school. I didn't do too bad, lemme see, on a scale from 1 to 6... 6 in English (Yay! Thank you Prof., drinks are on me ), 5 in French, 5 in Norwegian, 5 in Art, 5 in Music, 4 in Nature education (so what I don't know how to destillate oil?), 4 in PE (considering I've only been present at about five lessons this year, it's pretty impressing ) and... Uh-oh, 3 in Maths I honestly suck in Maths, but this is an all-time low Oh well, now I have an excuse to dig into unhealthy food Hand over that icecream... Anyway, if everything else fails I'll still be capable of getting into General Education at Lillestrøm...

"It's really very depressing when the only subject you do well in is the most pointless..."
There, there - I haven't a clue about your school system, but at least over here it isn't WHAT subjects you get good grades in, but the sum of all your marks... But silly me, you probably haven't got such a system, so, er... Well, you can migrate to Norway, you know Yeah, and then you can become a russ in four years with me, I'll teach you the art of making scrumptious meals of goat-cheeze and jam, and... Uh... I don't know, kidnap some teachers

Oh yeah! I can relax all week now Thanks to my school's flexi-time system, I'm taking rest of the week off, and then Monday's a holiday too, so I got a total of FIVE days to kick back and... do something interesting or another...

I'm dead jealous at my mum at the time, by the way. Trond has taken her on a romantic mystery trip for a week, and she expected it to be a drive over to Sweden ("Gee. How... romantic." ) but now it turns out he's taken her to London instead! Theatre tickets and all I've happy for her, of course, but I wouldn't mind to be in London meself... At least Truls is staying with us for the week, and it's so good to live with someone who's just as lazy

I'm going to go check my mailbox again now - third time today I have ordered a small library from Amazon, you see, and I'm really looking forward to reading something new. As it is now, I've read 'Lord of the Flies' several times in the past week

Toodles!

"Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do."
--Jean-Paul Sartre

Currently listening to: myself singing some obscure German lyric... I'll hazard guess and say I'm singing... "you, you hate, you hate me.."

This post is going to have to be super quick as I can't breathe due to a mixture of greif and hayfever

Oh dear oh dear oh dear, as I looked up the translation for that I stumbled across some Rammstein news... partially very good and partially... well, not so very good... It would appear they are not splitting up (thankgod!) but it looks like they might be making a recording with tatu... *sob* NO NO NO. Please no. Anyone else. Anyone apart from those talentless scrubs. *slashes wrists*

Poor you, this talk of Rammstein must be incredibly boring for you. I promise not to talk about them... no matter what happens, no matter who they team up with, even if they do get together with irritating, lously, little shi..

*sniff* Ok, I'm over it. Moving on.

Five days of nothing? What I would give for five days off... I would give my right arm for five days off *is reminded of that scene in the cell in Monty Python's 'Life of Brian'*

Lord, I would love to move to Norway. Anywhere apart from here, I can't stand this place. Please! Please take me with you! It's completely awful here, nothing interesting, stupid grading systems, irritating people.. the only good thing we have is probably scones. Mmmm, all this talk of pastries is making me hungry... so do exscuse me while I pop off to get something to nibble on...
a bientot
ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: Bjørn Eidsvåg singing 'Eg ser' (="I see") It's one of those deep songs that gives you goosebumps... "I see that you are frightened, but I can't die for you. You must taste it yourself... But I make death turn into life."

There, there. You can talk about Rammstein if you like to Although I may not be a great fan of Rammstein, I still see it as a great plummet of our cultural society each time Tatu finds something new to shock people with. And God knows I've made you bored to tears with all my talk of how Prof. Petter lives and breathes and what he eats as lunch We're friends, aren't we? And that's what friends are for, right? Boring eachother to tears ...

Okay, let 'Operation:Evacuation' begin This is what you must do to flee the country Er... Okay my mother is in England now! We'll let her find a large suitcase, and then you just have to lie still and not breathe during the two... hour... flight. Er, right. Plan B I'll let you make that one. Teamwork, alright!

Well, I'm thoroughly enjoying my time off - although most of it is going to reading and surfing - which is what I do every day, actually And Tine is getting annoyed with me as I'm listening to music she likes too, so she's sitting here with me instead of studying to her final exam. My job is done here

Oh, but I'm trying to fill my days of nothing with 'something' at least; Tonight the schoolband I'm playing with is having a concert - where my sister will be rewarded with a 10-year medal, so she's really proud of that... And tomorrow I'm going to see 'Stones in his pockets' again! Yay! And with our ol' chum Conradi, ya'know Maybe I'll meet him backstage and tell him "Wow, you look so much different with your trousers on!" ... And then you'll read about me in tomorrows paper as the girl who harassed a well-known actor

Right, I'm gonna go and get bored now,
Toodles!

"A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs."
--German Proverb

Currently listening to: myself doing a dance of anger, where's my post?! I posted up a bloody long and detailed post a few days ago and now it's disappeared! *sigh* Time for a song methinks... "That's life (that's life), that's what all the people say... You're ridin' high in April, shot down in May"

"We're friends, aren't we? And that's what friends are for, right? Boring eachother to tears ..."
Aww, that's such a sweet thing to say. Completely true but sweet none the less. It doesn't matter about Prof Petter, I'm actually interested so it doesn't count when you say we bore each other. I know how dull Rammstein must be to you, so what if I only tell you important snippets when and where they turn up, eh? In the process I'll try not to bore you to tears exactly, maybe to watery eyes, but not to tears

Ah well, this week has been uneventful to say the least. The weekend was a completely different story, it was my friends birthday party so I put in an appearance. Sadly enough I hadn't eaten anything so I got drunk rather quickly. I underestimated the effect of alcohol, at least I provided some entertainment for anyone who was paying attention.
All my friends have awful taste in music, it's all j-lo, Britney and Eminem etc. I was rather tipsy and bored, they put on something like Busted and I snapped. I yelled "Du hast mich!" at the top of my voice and threw my arms up in a sort of salute but I put rather too much energy into it and I the chair went off the patio and I rolled down the garden. Which was, slightly embarassing to say the least

I'm thinking about our plan to evacuate me... and I can only see one possible solution... *pauses for dramatic effect*... I must swim it. Yup, nothing for it. It's the only thing I can do. It'll be a challenge and it'll be cold, but I'm gonna risk it so I can live in that lovely place which is Norway...

Well, I'd better go. I'm decorating my new folder, so I need to find a few new pictures of Anthony Hopkins to liven it up , a bientot.

ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: 'How do you sleep' with John Lennon... "A pretty face may last a year or two, but pretty soon they'll see what you can do; The sound you make is muzak to my ears..."

"I posted up a bloody long and detailed post a few days ago and now it's disappeared!"
That happens to me on such a regular basis I'm starting to think it's someone's job at the BBC to make it happen Isn't that right, 'Director of Disappearing Information Postings at h2g2'? How much do they pay you, eh? I'll double it to make you stay off my and my friends post, d'ya hear?! Right, TWO bags of Fritos it is...

Well, at least you had an excuse to snap at the bad music - I usually snap under no drugging influence whatsoever, so I may see the leering faces more clearly as I realizes I've made a fool out of myself "Rrrgh, if I have to listen to Røyksopp ONE. More. Time...!"

Swim it, that's it! Genius. First, we need to find a way to ship over all your Hopkins-pictures, Rammstein-records, things like that. Then you need to find a good friend to cover you in that goo all swimmers use...

Er, excuse me for a sec ...

Sorry, I just saw that Missy carried a mouse indoors, and it's my job to get them out. It's quite amazing how many mice she catches. Thankfully she rarely kills it or even hurts it, so it's just to scoop that little rodent up and put it on the grass, like I did now - a healthy little Sorex Araneus It got to be my job as I'm the only one not too squeamish. The only thing that freaks me out is the dying screams (have you ever heard a mouse scream? ) and when rigor mortis has set in Well well, it's all a part of life... And the poor cat is always so dead proud when she brings one of them critters in...

Well, I really should start studying now for tomorrow's final oral exam. When the principal read out the subjects, I got to test Schopenhauser's positive thinking method - and it worked! I sat there, fingers, legs and eyes crossed, repeating "English, English, English, English..." and can you guess what the subject was? Math. Nah, I'm pulling your leg, it really was English! I wonder if it's too late to start having that affair with Prof Petter... Wish me luck when I'm up there tomorrow, analyzing poetry in my non-native language

Toodles!

"Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you."
-Cyril Connolly

Currently listening to: Sisters of Mercy 'This Corrosion' "Hey now, hey now now, sing This Corrosion to me..." It's a surprisingly catchy song.

"Then you need to find a good friend to cover you in that goo all swimmers use..."
It'll have to be a very good friend Only a very deranged person would be willing to do that (a thick wad of cash might help ) and I'm not doing too well on the friend front at the moment, I think paying someone will be my only option.
I made my best friend cry yesterday and my other friends seem to have lost all interest in me since I took a sort of 'vow of silence', where I avoid as much conversation as possible to prove that they only like me because of my jokes, not my personality (Although someone did argue that my jokes did constitute as my personality, which made me feel very depressed)
I didn't mean to make her cry. I had no idea she would, she's just a very emotional person. I told her something she couldn't handle very well and she started crying. I should feel bad, but I don't. Somewhat alarming that.

I can't say I've ever heard a mouse scream, It's usually the other way around. I'm the one screaming. I don't mind them when they stay still or are dead, but when they run around it does rather freak me out. I once caught a mouse with my Citizenship book and a coffee mug, but I acidentally caught it's tail and it bled all over my coursework, my teacher was slightly alarmed that I had blood all over my work

I hope your English exam went well, mine didn't I think I got a C, or something like that. I got two A's in the end, in Drama and Citizenship (how depressing).

It's Fathers day today, my parents are just about to return to the house and I'm planning to make a nice meal and give him his card. (I bought him a massive Birthday present that was so expensive it counted for his Fathers Day present too, Bill Bryson's new book in hardback)
a bientot,
ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: Gorillaz 'Tomorrow'

"I'm not doing too well on the friend front at the moment"
That makes two of us. I don't know why, I'm just down at the moment and I don't feel like being social at the moment I've got a major writer's block (and now I even WANT to write something) plus I don't have anything to read - I want to read something humorous and slightly off-beat, but all my mother's and Trond's books are just Stephen King and 'do it yourself'-books. Arrgh, I'm just a walking clump of frustration

Well, my English exam went pretty well, I guess - only one occasion when I forgot a word and started mumbling. I got a 5/6 which is pretty good, but then I did the most stupid thing you can do: Ask other people what they got and then compare it with your result. I realized a surprising number of students got 6/6 and I got horrendously jealous. People I MYSELF have taught to speak better English got better grades than me I taught them to pronounce "of" like "ov" instead of "off" - and they walk out with a top grade. I'm not normally jealous of these things, I'm just in a bad mood at the time. I'm mostly miffed because I didn't get a good reason why I was graded a 5/6 I'm thinking about asking the Prof. tomorrow, although I know some people would kill for my grade...

Well, thank God all the official school stuff is over - I just have to finish this week of sad goodbyes and turning in textbooks, and then "hell holiday" may begin!

Talking about sad goodbyes... Yesterday we had a meeting with Drownin' Ducks, and boy, is that declining fast! We haven't had a gig for many months, and at our last one we were told we were talentless (which killed our spirits considerably, of course) and now our main singer and our saxophonist has left us. Those of us who are left (only one bass-player, a guitarist, a drummer and me) are fighting for the band's survival though, so now I'm appointed as main singer And to make jamming fun again we are attending a summer-class for rock bands where we will learn some new techniques and such... One of the tutors has broken bread with Sir Paul McCartney, so you'll bet I'll stick to him like glue

Well, I think I'm gonna shut myself in my room and stare at the ceiling gloomingly
Toodles!

"Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were."
--Cherie Carter-Scott

Currently listening to: my usual rantings and ravings about life the universe and everything. Once again, my post has decided not to post itself I give up! I really do! Now I'm going to make sure all my posts are written in word and saved before attempting to post, it's getting way beyond a joke

Well I hear you're leaving your school. Poor you, I have another year to make the most of it.

It's nearly time for my summer holidays, (I can't believe you're already on yours) and I am in desperate need for new clothes. REALLY badly in need. It seems I live in the same pair of jeans and khaki army shirt. So, I've been taking the libery of looking around all the band sites that I know looking for merchandise, and I've found a couple of nice shirts and a great pair of trousers. Speaking of which, my Mother wanted to know where Rammstein got their trousers (, something to do with industrial becoming fashionable) so I typed into google 'rammstein trousers' and it brought up, apart from all the usual smut you would expect, a story
Yes, it was one of those strange fan stories. It was weird because I expected that sort of thing from Harry Potter and Buffy The Vampire slayer, but a band? How queer.
I read it, and boy was it strange, explicit, boy oh boy was it explicit I was on the verge of sickness: something about a fleece, Richard and Chris, gay sex, dominating and bondage. These people really should get out more. It would appear than in my experience Rammstein fans tend to be a bit... well, insane.
After I quickly escaped that site I had a look at the next choice, which was about strange dreams people had involving Rammstein If I may quote a quite funny one:
"It was like based around their du hast vid. They had all of Linkin Park gagged and tied to chairs. Till started yelling at them you stupid American boy band! And then like the bit in the vid where he hits out, he hit out at the one in Linkin Park with glasses. It seemed Till wanted to kill them, he had a lighter and petorl. He was thinking of doing the fire man in the vid. Richard got a hold of Till and said No! No! You mustn't let them go! And Till said No! Throwing Richard to the floor Till was saying there a part of it, there apart of it!"
Apparently the person who dreamed that was actually very upset and scared afterwards Sounds like a great dream to me, I know I'd have enjoyed it I'll drop the subject of Rammstein, I know how boring it is. So, moving on:

If you're looking for something to read, if you haven't already, I suggest you read 'Stupid White Men' by Micheal Moore. The first chapters a bit hard going, but the rest is just hillariously funny and full of biting comebacks.

Oh dear. I feel a rant coming on...:
~~RANT OF THE DAY~~SUBJECT: BARBIE~~
What's happened to Barbie? I just went on a site, I think this is a barbie site, hoping to see something encouranging, but what on earth has happened?
http://www.myscene.com/friends/barbie/barbie_index.aspx
My God, what kind of a self obsessed dumb bitch have they made Barbie into? They could have made her intelligent, they could have turned her into a role model for millions of young girls. Make them believe that just because they are a girl they just have to be something nice to look at. They should be showing young girls they are capable of so much more rather than just being a peice of flesh. They should be encouraging girls to make something out of themselves, that they are wonderful no matter what.
AND BARBIES FRIENDS AREN'T ANY BETTER:
I mean, just look at this profile of one of barbies male friends:
http://www.myscene.com/friends/river/river_index.aspx
Favourite music:post punk scene? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT? STOP COMPLICATING THINGS GODDAMN IT.
And all the girls are so stupid, all they care about are 'cuties'?! Am I the only person who thinks that this shouldn't be allowed? Gosh, I sounded like a demented mother then

Well it's work experience next week, I'm working at a nursery But at least I get to wear whatever I want, and I have the shortest working hours of all my friends 9am to 1pm. I'm sure it'll be fine, anyway.. how bad can these kids be?


ta,
-Nate


http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/A671762

Currently listening to: Various cartoons on the telly. Normally I'd grab every chance I got to watch the Lion King, but sadly, they're on because my nieses are here. Little Maja isn't old enough to care (she likes to chase the cat instead) and little Martine is such a little drama queen, I'm so sick of it So I've taken hold of the computer as a last resort...

Ah yes, I recognize that kind of fan stories - I think every cultural direction is littered with them. Not to mention photoshopped porn. I've seen horrible things, I tell you - HORRIBLE things!

And talking about Barbie, have you noticed all those awful spin-offs they're making now? Bratz, Divas, I have no idea. And all are meant to be some genetically twisted airheads. Not to mention what this does to young kids who learns that Barbie has a "beautiful" body - if she was alive, she would constantly fall over because of the size of her bosom and head (which seems mildly entertaining, actually ) and she would have no period because about everything between her hips would be non-functioning. So at least she wouldn't give birth to a new generation of air-heads

Now I've killed the fun out of that.

Well, we had our final party at school last week. I was nervous as hell, not only because I hate parties, but because the day before the party I had given a letter to Prof. Petter telling him how I thought he was a fab teacher and that I would miss him and his classes - those kind of gooey things I had no idea how he was gonna react to it, that's why I was a nervous wreck before our final meeting.

First there was an official ceremony, where all the students had to recieve their final papers and shake hands with the principal in front of all the parents. I decided not to say "Thank you!" like everybody else, so while shaking his hand and smiling, I said "Cactus!" and he replied, "Congratulations, you're welcome." Mum was so proud. Then we had the informal little party only as a class, and everybody was teary-eyed, especially Prof. Petter who recieved many hugs and flowers. He gave us girls a last photosession and farewell-speech, were he said he had actually given up seeing Bruce Springsteen in concert just to be at the party (and The Boss is his hero, so it was a great sacrifice), and just before he left, we talked just the two of us, were he said he was very touched by my letter (thank God!) and that he would miss me. And with the last comment, "You silly kids! You're too young to understand how sad it is to say goodbye!", he walked out of my life like Humphrey Bogart

You'll have to excuse the melodrama and clichès - I just need to get it out of my system. I'm working myself though the pain with music instead - I've been listening to blues and jazz all week "Life is bare, gloom and misery everywhere... Stormy weather - now my guy and I ain't together..." It feels slightly good to have a heart-ache - it keeps me occupied. And it's a good excuse to watch Casablanca again

Nah, I'll be allright. My sister says the school I'll begin at has a wide range of attractive teachers... But none like my Professor, sadly.

I'll go and wallop in my heartache, and then I have to clean Roosta's cage
Toodles!

P.S.: So, when does your summer holiday start?

"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."
--George Bernard Shaw

Currently listening to: some song by Span, am I right in thinking they are from Norway? There seems to be a lot of good music coming outta there at the moment.

I'm sure you'll find a man equal to Prof. Petter at your new school, heck, you'll probably find someone twice as good. Although you don't think it right now. Hey, you should be enjoying yourself, I have another three and a half weeks before our school breaks up for the Summer Holidays Enjoy yourself, I have ages to wait before I can.

Well, I've been off on work experience for the past few days. I'm working at some Nursery and the whole experience has made me realise I am no good with kids. Ok, sure you get used to it after a while and they become bearable, but it's the

In my travels, I often come across weird and wonderful things. One such thing is this article I found while casually glancing at rotten news dot com. Yes, I know, sick, at least I don't look at the pictures.
http://www.nettavisen.no/servlets/page?section=1706&item=273590

I also spotted these rather odd headlines on the right side of the page:
Nine out of ten Norwegians are happy
Norwegian caught with 80,000 beer bottles
Have sex by the Royal Palace!
Norwegians rejected from strawberry field ("Picking strawberries is hard work, and in order to make good money, the pickers have to work very hard. Norwegian youth are not hungry enough, said
Berge.")
I think you should have a look at this site, it's painting a very odd picture of what goes on over there. I also noticed a lot of cases where people animals and the like have been beheaded. I'm sure this sort of thing happens over here just as much, it's just that our nations police are so bad it takes ages before anyone realises. Either that or teens get awfully bored up there. We have Camden where angst ridden teens can escape to and feel rebellious, so nobody needs to decapitate living and or dead organisms.

Well, I'd better go. My heads starting to hurt with all this talk of decapitation.
Ta,
-Nate

Currently listening to: John Lennon's 'Working class hero' "The hate you if you're clever, and they despise a fool..."

Span may be from Norway, though I've never heard of them Really, I don't have much idea what Norwegian music is going international at the moment - I even got shocked when I saw some ad for a Turbonegro concert on the net... You think we've got so much good music, eh? Well, you can bite your tongue, because when you get an overdose of such artists as Kurt, Sissel Kyrkjebø, Diaz, Heidi Hauge, Herborg Kråkevik (oh God, noooo! ), Cape, Dina and the like you'll be screaming for mercy If any of the above names sounds familiar to you, run! Migrate! Just get the helloutta there!

Nah, the only acceptable Norwegian band at the time is Kaizers Orchestra - you should listen to their song, 'Kontakt på kontinentet' or 'Rullett' I've also heard that Norway is good on death metal, but I'm not the person to ask

Well, kids are only cute when they are babies and not big enough to say things like, "No! I don't want to go to sleep, you poo!" - so do you wanna tell me the rest of your experience You seem to have been cut short.

Well, you gotta take into account that Norway is one of the most boring nations on this earth. We're a bit like Belgium. We haven't done many great things, and all the great personas we can advertise with are Ibsen, A-ha and the creator of the paperclip Therefore, the impression you get from the news makes us look like a strange whale-killing, sheep-decapitating, Røyksopp-producing country. With a very boring National Anthem too

I'll just let you know that my heartache is clearing up. It's actually too hot to go around moaning "Professor, I miss you soooo..." and the holiday boredom is taking its toll too.

Well, Tine is hovering over me wanting to play a game with me (the boredom is killing her too) so I better go. Enjoy school

Toofles!

~PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT~
I FEEL THAT WITH THE NUMBER OF QUOTES I USE, IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA FOR ME TO EXPAND MY DEFINITION OF A QUOTE. SO PREPARE FOR SOME SLIGHTLY ODD ONES, INCLUDING SONG LYRICS, QUOTES FROM PAPERS ETC

"People need to be taught how to put a condom on...these are things that have to be taught and they have to be rammed home quite hard..."
--FI GLOVER, Radio 5 Live

Currently listening to: 'bestrafe mich' (punish me) by Rammstein... I found a lovely site which allows you to download random live shows, so I decided to wait an hour for it to load. Well worth it.

I only noticed that half my conversation wasn't there when I checked it back just now. I must have deleted it somehow. How I did that is beyond me, but anyway, this is what I was going to say:
The kids are ok, just as long as you don't get too friendly with them or they won't ever let you go. It's my last day tommorow, which is a blessing. So just another four hours of work and then another four hours of writing the whole experience up in a diary I'm not sure which is worse. The actual job or the work we have to do afterwards

Yeah, all the music that I hear coming out of Norway is all death metal Strange that. I haven't heard of a single artist that you mentioned, am I really behind with the times or something?

I'd better go. My computer upstairs doesn't want to work at the moment so I'd better go and kick it..
ta,
-Nate


Ps. REALLY? Is Norway really home to the inventor of the paper clip? Really? Or are you having me on...

Currently listening to: Tine trying to learn Marius to juggle three balls

"The kids are ok, just as long as you don't get too friendly with them or they won't ever let you go."
Ah, love'em or leave'em is it? But then again it's true - it's much easier to leave people you don't like. I was getting somewhere awfully clever with this, but I'm so tired I've forgotten where to. I've got a major headache going, and I'll notify you if the lost lines reappeares

"I haven't heard of a single artist that you mentioned, am I really behind with the times or something?"
Oh no, you're just really, really lucky It leaves me with a faint glimmer of hope when it comes to Man when such artists as Heidi Hauge don't become famous *Relieved sigh*

Ugh, as I said, I'm very tired. The course for band musicians started today, and I've spent all day improvising music (which I really stink at) and as today's task was to let each band write their own song, we were really proud of the four-bar blues we had started on. Then suddenly one of the tutors comes in and sais "Oh, that's nice, but you should do it like this - " In the end I think there was one chord that WE had written in there. They aren't meant to take over like that, surely? Whatever song he made us play does not feel like "our song" at all. Anyway, it's back there tomorrow

Oh, and the whole band is living with me and Tine as it is. The course is held right by us, so we thought it simpler to live all under one roof, and since we're all alone (mum and Trond is on a holiday in Sweden) we can make some chaos All we've done so far, though, is bying catfood, eating pizza and watching a Queen concert. Ooh, the adrenaline

I better go join the rest in the livingroom. They're calling for me. Oh, how doog it is to be wanted
Toodles!