h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

if thy wish to smite quite so,
and a better way i know.
i can sell u a specail tool,
and all fellow smiters will say u rule.
so goddess if this tool you wish to own,
then i will give it as sun shone.

*pulls out small puzzle cube and pics a little piece off*
GET DOWN!
DON"T BE A CLOWN!

*throws cube piece, and it makes a mini atomic explosion burning clive and ekki*

As we of the Thing clan all understand, Clive is actually an AI - currently residing within H2G2 (how else can he be in so many places at once!) and therfore impossible to smite by mere a posting!

However Eris is a completly real Goddess (and so is ) who will definatly smite you if you're not carefull sunshine...

so there!

sorry about the roasting friend,
but i guess you got it in the end.

but this little toy can do much more,
and their on sale 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 each at my store.

I'll be back.

oh no! its the smiling terminator!

I'll forgive you *this* time Plastic Squirrel ... you're going to have to learn to only poke Thingite enemies in the future ... like Ottox ...

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good spork at your side, kid."

You can't win, Darth. If you kill me now, I'll return more powerful than you can ever possibly imagine

*bonks Giga strike on the head, post singeing, with the snazzy retro-neo-lithic club with iron-esque spike, which at this moment in time is currently made of shaving foam*

What spork!? *clang* The one you've been carrying around inside your rusty innards!

::hands Ekki and Clive some aloe to recover from the singeing::

did it hurt 3ekki ftang?
i never felt a tang.
*snicker*

*wipes whats left of spikes from his head and pyts some ice on the bump*
that really hurt,
and i even fell into the dirt.

oh well what can you do,
since i was the one who burnt you.

There was nowt wrong with your smite Eris, it just didn't account for an insane power-complexed boss, who when he comes into work and finds that there is no work, proceeds to build his own minituare town to work in, in only 5 minutes. But ta for the smite-onna-stick, I shall use it on the workmen next door, who have rather inconveniently nicked my neighbours floor. And you wouldn't let me poke Ottox with my pointy stick ealier either Shea! I promise to ask permission before any future assasination attempts. So, how about it folks? Can I? Please ?

Big fat slug "Why should I give him thirty-thousand?"
Overly camp protocol droid "Because he's holding a SPORK!!!!!"
Big fat slug "Ho, Ho, Ho, this thingite is my kind of scum!!"

Pardon me sir, but I never received my badger-sized spork.

*pondering*
Does anyone remember the 'star wars pants' e-mail that went round a few years ago? It consisted of several storming star wars lines that had been altered to use the word pants in (in)appropriate places. An example is as follows: "Sand people always ride in single file to hide their pants" ( full list of such quotations can be obtained on request, but I kinda need an e-mail address to send them top
Anyway, as I try to dispell the tangent that is forming in my mind, I will get on with the main topic of this post, which is, 'star wars sporks' an intrinsically thingite pastime. Answers on a post to my space where there will be a reception of divine proportions

govenor tarkin. i noticed the foul stench of your pants as i came on board...

i literally cried with laughter because of that email...

We do have a sporking good time, don't we?

so anyone want to buy?
a bomb within the possesion of i?
please i need the money for school,
and i need to go to somewhere cool.
and i like to see someone enjoy,
each of ly little explosive toy.

"Hey, we don't serve their kind here!"

"Hunh?"

"Your sporks! They'll have to wait outside!"

Here you go Fred.

*gives Fred his badger sized spork*

"Do you hear that? That is the sound of a thousand sporks coming this way."