h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Mum was admitted to a care home (not one I know of) last night. I feel really guilty because this is the last thing she wanted.

she will receive the care and attention she needs love and please don't feel too bad, as it allows YOU to see to your own recovery without putting your health at risk

It may not be what she wanted - but it seems to be what she needed. You still need to recover, so you (and your sister etc) can do your best for your Mum.

I agree with the prof

Don't feel guilty, you have done everything you could for her.

As the man said, you can't always get what you want. But sometimes, you get what you need.

Me too. If Mum was confused; as in Post 1, then what she felt about not wanting to go into care before, may well not apply now!

You can only do what you feel is best for your Mum and as you love her so much, her needs (not wants) come first and there can be no question about you having to feel guilty. Feeling guilty is only for those who let things slide and do nothing!

Thanks everyone, Mum's stay there didn't last long. The care home decided she was too sick for them to look after and after I left this morning they called an ambulance and sent her to A&E. They rang my sister and she left work and went to A&E. I joined them when I got her message, Mum's now on the Acute Medical Unit at Diana Hospital. She's had 3 bags of fluid through a drip and an antibiotic injection. Chest x-ray revealed a shadow on her lung. She's not had a wee today (since I pottied her yesterday in fact). Cardiologist came round to talk to us and says she has very low blood pressure, atrial fibrillation (irregular heartbeat) and they think she has had a silent heart attack. Tests being repeated tomorrow to confirm or deny this. Good news she had some soup and some semolina from the meal they brought her at teatime, and she stayed awake the whole time. I got home not long ago, soaked to the skin, I've washed the breakfast pots and boiled a packet noodle. Tomorrow I'm going to take a packed lunch with me.

Thank god she's in the right place. I've been worried .

pm'd you on FB, Z, (I just found your message sorry)

Hoping she finds some care and comfort

Icyshe certainly loved all the attention today, especially when the young male medical student came round to take her life history (he didn't ask for that but that's what he got) he was with her 3/4hr!

If she can talk to a medical student that long it's a good sign...

Ouch, sorry to read all this GB. Best of wishes to you all

Take care of yourself while people take care of your mum. They are trained to do so, they want to do it and you have paid them good money to do so also, so there is absolutely no reason to feel bad about it, okay?