h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Money doesn't grow on sprees.

Fred the tailor lost the thread of his thoughts when he was threading his needle; as he daydreamed about the time he worked in Threadneedle street where he cut the cloth for robes to be worm by the women and men of the cloth.

The dentist's favourite shopping centre was 'The Gap'.

Buying a cheap computer mouse could leave you with a squeak and a sad tale.

He told a story about his eight-foot-three grandfather. It was a tall tale.

Peacocks are meticulous because they show attention to de tail.

People are always arguing over whether h2g2 is better in Pline, Alabaster or Brunel. I say, 'Chacun a son goo'.

My grandfather used to play cards with two of his friends. They included the grandfather clock in the game because it was also an old timer.

She complained that her husband pent most of his time on the sofa.

"There's enough dirt behind the cushions to start a farm," she scolded.

"That's why there's a couch potato growing here," the husband replied.

My desire to be a dermatologist was only skin deep. I knew I was destined for osteology. I could feel it in my bones.

The second hand clock shop had to wind up business as time ran out!

I only listen to waltzes 3/4 of the time.

Couch me if you can, but before that you need to chaise me.

Some of us are like potatoes: thick skinned but soft inside when warmed.

I can't find my rutabaga. I hope it will turnip.

Rabbits like their beer brewed with a lot of hops.

welcome CD, hope you enjoy the place


no place hare for serious folk

The bottom of the sea has some wonderful plaices, but if you're not careful you could get a haddock.

and if you reef it alone, you'll not be classed as shellfish

You could drive around in something turbot-charged, or ride a motorpike and side-carp.