h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When my ice house falls apart igloo it back together.

The fastest, most efficient way to make Halloween costumes is mask production.

When I was young, I wanted to study archaeology, but my dad thought it was nothing more than a lot of skullduggery ...

The almanac of famous ghosts is a real Boos Who.

There was a ghost at the hotel, so they called for an inn spectre.

I knew that the spirit couldn't float around very long. What ghost up must come down.

Scarecrows are always garden their patch.

The thing about vampires is they always have such biting humour.

I went to go see the movie 'Shrek' last weekend, it was so ogre rated.

I'm not a werewolf. Not that I'm aware of!

I once knew a woman who turned into a deer when the moon was full. She was a real weredoe.

A werewolf's favorite day of the week is moonday.

Doctor Frankenstein's creation was a man of many parts.

The sore mummy needed a Cairo-practor.

I always enjoyed good luck in my garden. I credited my gardening angel for that.

Sign in a veterinary waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

The angels of East Angel-ia eat only angel, fairy cakes and butterfly winged cakes. Their favourite dessert is angel whipped cream custard.

Brad Pitt makes Angelina jolly.

What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.

My wife’s a water sign. I’m an earth sign. Together we make mud.