h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Bakers earn the majority of their income in the morning, they earn most of their dough at yeast by a leaven o'clock.

The guilt-ridden shark always has a feeling of remoras.

Survivors of the shipwreck were invited to a gala, where most of them chose to wear gold lame. It was a case of survivors' gilt.

He drove his car until the day of wreckoning.

People who like gold paint have a gilt complex.

The gold medalist wanted to represent a sneakers company and figured he was a shoo-in.

People barge into renovating barge boats and have to beware that they are not barged too much when getting specialist help.

A small pirate ship is called a thug-boat.

The mass of a ship is measured in keelograms.

good looking animals run my sea going vessels the helmsman is a boat-ox (botox)

Mast you make so many puns about ships?

Yes, I can't hold them back

The police boat was filling with water and those on board had to be bailed out.

The pirate captain's list was to starboard when he failed to ketch his bottle of port which fell onto the poop deck after he nearly keeled over.

The ship was full, but the sailors weren't playing with a full deck.

The port was very beautiful. The sailors said it was haven on earth.

Pirate's Cove was said to be harboring fugitives.

After years of easy living, the pirates were getting fat. They even redesigned their pirate flag and called him the Jowly Roger.

The pirate visited the farm stand, where he heard everything was a buccaneer.

I hate this diner. The waiters aren't working very hard at all. Even the meatloafs.