This is the Message Centre for Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.
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paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant Posted Jul 16, 2015
Where do you go to clean your mower?
A lawn-dromat
Pun in the Oven
Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. Posted Jul 16, 2015
you put sheep in a washing machine ?? 
Pun in the Oven
Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. Posted Jul 16, 2015
haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
Pun in the Oven
Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. Posted Jul 16, 2015
the door on the International Space Station is shivering and sneezing ?
it must have a postcode
Pun in the Oven
Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. Posted Jul 16, 2015
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
Pun in the Oven
paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant Posted Jul 17, 2015
[Nice one, prof! 
]
What's the name of that book about the guy who gets diarrhea during daylight hours?
"The sun is my enema"
Pun in the Oven
Reality Manipulator Posted Jul 17, 2015
Proper punctuation can make the difference between a sentence that's well-written and a sentence that's, well, written.
Pun in the Oven
Reality Manipulator Posted Jul 17, 2015
I've made up my mind to re-lay my lawn. It was a turf decision.
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Reality Manipulator Posted Jul 17, 2015
The new weed whacker is cutting-hedge technology.
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Reality Manipulator Posted Jul 17, 2015
The hedgehogs hedged their bets on who can the most prickled onions.
Pun in the Oven
Reality Manipulator Posted Jul 17, 2015
The hedgehogs hedged their bets on who can eat the most prickled onions.
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Reality Manipulator Posted Jul 17, 2015
The topiary artist invested all his money in shears and hedge funds.
Pun in the Oven
Reality Manipulator Posted Jul 17, 2015
At the petting zoo I saw a sheep scratching itself. Turns out it had fleece.
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Reality Manipulator Posted Jul 17, 2015
He couldn't figure out how to fix the washing machine so he threw in the towel.
Pun in the Oven
Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. Posted Jul 18, 2015
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
Pun in the Oven
Reality Manipulator Posted Jul 19, 2015
When the artist tried to draw a cube he had a mental block.
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Reality Manipulator Posted Jul 19, 2015
The man who bought too much graphing paper didn't know where to draw the line.
Pun in the Oven
Reality Manipulator Posted Jul 19, 2015
When I saw the White Cliffs of Dover, I realised that the old saying was true. Chalk is steep.
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Reality Manipulator Posted Jul 19, 2015
People who like gold paint have a gilt complex.
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Reality Manipulator Posted Jul 19, 2015
Pencil sharpeners have a tough life - they live off tips.
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- 16601: paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant (Jul 16, 2015)
- 16602: Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. (Jul 16, 2015)
- 16603: Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. (Jul 16, 2015)
- 16604: Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. (Jul 16, 2015)
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- 16615: Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. (Jul 18, 2015)
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