h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

They were a fastidious couple. She was fast, he was tedious.

Cryptographers make terrible drummers. They just sit there, fascinated by all the cymbals.

I went to a Gluten-Free conference, where I delivered the quinoa-oat address.

By the time the final horse got his hay it was the last straw.

The golfer dressed in a designer tea-shirt, when after playing a few rounds of golf at the Sandwich golf course would finish off with a cup of tea, a round of sandwiches and a slice of cake.

Just as long as you don't drink formdehyde. But if you do, you may find that are well-preserved n old age .

Will formdehyde preserve my memory also

I can barley remember what I drank yesterday

I can beerly remember it myself.

Millie the village baker was going against the grain when she decided to bake bread only using ancient grains. It was a sorghum success when she bucked the trend with her buckwheat biscuits which were a-maize-ing. She even had a side line of selling her homemade bottles of barley wine which was sold to Barleyman Butterbur who is the Landlord of the tavern called 'The Jovial Fisherman'.

The baker bought supplies oven necessary kind.

barley wine - I had a cold and could barley whine, hop it goes a whey

It a curd to Miss Muffet that a spider was coming after her.

Mary Mary quite contrary - huh! I preferred your sister anyway

The turtle had trouble getting dates because he had ereptile dysfunction.

The baker mi-spelt some of the ingredients of his recipe for spelt and barley bread because he barley knew all the ingredients. Every fibre of his being made him feel that he must make sure his bread was full of fibre and had the allocated amount of grains and seeds so that people would not say that his business was going to seed.

The owners of the Health Food restaurant said they did not give a fig about what people thought about their new fig and date yoghurts as they were knew they would love their very hoppy tasting beer bread which was could at keeping various tummy ale-ments at bay.

Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos.

What kind of flooring do alligator hunters use? Reptiles!

The history of cheese is full of holes, but it's interesting in its own whey.

A big chunk of cheese came to life and was serenaded at the local tavern with "For cheese a jolly good fellow."