h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I wore a stilton on both my feet. This was very handy

Napoleon had handies at the end of his armies

Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he went to college?

A: Bison

Hear of the chef who was arrested for cooking the books?

Was he the same one who was at bat? The pitcher threw four balls and he wokked.

One day my friend asked me, how do you take such good care of your saxophone. I responded with tenor, love and care.

He was late for school until a spider dropped on his ankle and then he decided to shake a leg.

There was quite a crowd at the Ayrshire Dunlop cheese and wine party, where the goatee bearded host who was wearing a windsor knot neck tie, served crowdie cheese on oatcakes and red windsor cheese and various blends of goats and cheddar cheese.

It was a unique house that was made entirely made of gruyere. When someone offered to buy it, the owner said, "Cheese not for sale!"

the cowboy stopped his naughty colt going on holiday to "bar bad os"

Lovey, my ex-girlfriend, left me and went to Haiti.

Jamaica ?

nah! she went by her own choice

I fear that she went because Aruba the wrong way.

abyssinia yah later then

Alaska

Idahoan know where she has gone.

It is a Maine conception that she went to Wyoming because she was a skilled lumberjack. "Arkansas", she said

"I'd a hoe and a sack of 'taters..."

what did Delaware then ?

The first drinking establishment in Alaska was a polar bar.