h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The pirate pilot ecstatic on his first flight to the Caribbean to retrieve long lost treasure said "I-Land where I hid it."

There was a vacation resort near Blue Bayou. As a hurrican approached, all the vacationers but one evacuated. After the storm passed, someone asked the lone holdout, "Did you notice what just blew by you?"

Pirates make very good pir-otechnicians as their always using gunpowder but novice pirates make terrible singers because they can't hit the high seas.

The pirate captain's list was to starboard when he failed to ketch his bottle of port which fell onto the poop deck after he nearly keeled over.

What does a storm-cloud wear under it's coat . . . . Thunderwear!

The Vikings landed during thunder and lightning and took the city by storm.

Putting it into historical perspective, it's all a flash in the pan!

I park your bacon, I mean I beg your pardon, don't you mean flesh on the pan?

Depends on what kind of pan it is. If it's a Japan, the "flesh" could just as well be tofu.

I would give that to the fu fighters

Wouldn't that just put them in a bad tempera?

My floor was stainless until i lost my tempera

Su---chi didn't understand the last post, so I had to explain it to her.

I hear there is plenty of sushi in the sea

Cod! is that really true?

the bishop didn't seem to believe me, he went to his see to make sure

The bishop mitre told you first.

He couldn't. He has given a promise of se-crecy

Vat...he.........can prove or not? Let's Pope so.

If the bishop's see can't let's hope at least the Vatican