h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I always prayed before my trigonometry tests. I was hoping for a sine from above.

A hawk sat atop a church because it was a bird of pray.

We hope you enjoy7 your stay in the Roach Motel. If you feel the need for spitiual guidance, visit our chapel. The chaplain is a mantis. Please do not disturb him while he is praying.

spider at the top of the steeple, told her to get down it's dangerous

An English teacher, who was dreadfully afraid of insects, while on a picnic screamed like a little girl when he saw there was an antonym.

Staying at the trendy, new hotel was the inn thing to do and there was a ghost at another hotel in town, so they called for an inn spectre.

Staring up from a Manhattan street up the facade of a skyscraper hotel, the inspector was floored!

The Empire State Building has lasted over 70 years now. Many interesting things have happened in and around that building. So many stories......

The empire returned to his state. It was a state of shock. A cereal killer had just commited yet another of his hideous crimes. The emperor sighed heavily and swore dear oats: I want this culprit apprehended within the hour - come grain or shine!

This topic needs to be cropped.

rye! rye! Captain, wheat'll splice the mainbrace, but there's barley a wind

Oh no, we're not ploughing through all these cereal puns again after so short a time! We should at least wait a millet or two.

The decision to begin construction on the Empire State Building was a groundbreaking historical event and the man who changed a light bulb in the Empire state building became the highlight of his career.

A box of food you buy for breakfast will have a cereal number on it.

You gotta be careful with corn at night. They can be early creepy with their husky voices and seedy appearance. Why, they even cob right out and tell you to shuck it right to your face.

Corn is so versatile that it is an a-maize-ing grain and on the commodities exchange when the price of corn goes up some farmers are all ears. Others are only interested in the stalk market.

One grasshopper told another about eating corn. It went in one ear and out the other.

A mumbling grain farmer can barley be understood. Give him a rye look.

who opened this ? Can't we find a wormhole to stuff them into?

Two anglers were having a discussion and opened quite a can of worms and the found the fish liked cold food, but the bait was a little worm .