h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

you goat to be joking

ram not kidding ewe know

I feel sheepish about that.

I dug a sheep up in the garden, it must have been a bleatroot

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

Don't ever argue with a swordplant.

cutlass and I was arrested for assault

cutlass of the weeds in my garden than i (and my neighboursd) would want you to and yer wouldn't get paid

pieces of eight, I'll do it for seven when I'm in port, whisky preferred

Join me in a cup of tea, and I'll bet you'll wish you were in port.

i shall rum-mage for any port in a storm

Join me in a cup of teawould there be enough room and I can't swim anyway

oh dear! molasses and got arrested again

If you're elderly and get arrested, do they take you to a rest home?

My uncle who lives in Monk-seaton keeps on tell me that he's not a monkey's uncle when doing his repairs with a monkey wrench and doesn't give a monkey about what he looks like when he goes out wearing his monkey suit and stopping at the bar to eat some monkey nuts says that he can be as funny as a barrel of monkeys when he feels like it.

I saw a barrel of monkeys once, but I barrel-ly laughed.

I was put in a barrel and told to stand in the corner, as if I was as thick as a plank to do it, but I did have a walk round though

transcen'dental meditation isn't what a orthodontist plays in his surgery to sooth the patient

I wouldn't mind a lemonade stand in the corner. :-0

I went to a restaurant where they played bass drums whenever they served sea bass or bass but it was a different kettle of when they were serving bango they then played bango music on the banjo.

there was a load of fish near my local supermarket, it was a carp park