h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Earn-ie Seller the potter seller bought garden urns from the local potter Urn-a Potter who lived in the Potteries and Earn-ie then sold them on to the various garden shops and centres in and around Welyn Welwyn Garden City and made quite a tidy profit which he shared with her.

At the Polar Circle the polar took a photography of the polar star using a pol-aroid camera whilst pole vaulting over a crevice.

I'll do that again:

At the Polar Circle the polar bear took a photograph of the polar star using a pol-aroid camera whilst pole vaulting over a crevice.

did that count as a double flash/take

does a tesla coil stop electrons getting pregnant

Well, it might lead to a pregnant pause.

would fires in your pants, keep you warm in winter

The ant-swer is no, sir.

The newspaper hack wore a hacking jacket on the way to work at the Hackney Gazette newspaper offices in a Hackney cab.

Overheard at the beach:

"How's the water?"

"Lukewarm."

"Mark just went in, and he says it's not warm at all.

Matthew says he's going in as soon as he gets back from the john, and that's the Gospel truth."

Luke here, Matthew - and Mark my words - when John says it's cold it's cold

you said it was lukewarm, yup! it lukes warm, but I've not been in

Whenever wizards were using their letter wizards, and they asked a question in Word on how to do a mail merge the help wizard would ask "What's the magic word?" before proceding with answering the question.

Did you hear about that bull in Pamplona that charged up into the stands, injuring dozens of people? He was bulligerent!

bully for him, I'm on the animals side, plushe didn't charge, he did it for free - just hope he wasn't spammed after

not a benign bovine that, but that'll teach the b*st*rds

i do feel sorry for a ten year old boy who was injured, though. blame it on the parents for taking him there

In the U.S. and Canada, bulls are part of the entertainment in rodeos. Cowboys sit on the buls' backs and see how manys econds they can stay on before the bull shakes them loose. I don't believe the bull is put to death afterwards, though.

In the village pond the ducks lie to go duck and diving when they are trying to catch fish and when the go to pub pay by putting it on their bill.

When nuclear scientists take vacations, do they go on fission trips?

fission() chips! true pre cooked food and nuclear oats = porridge THAT will really make you glow in winter