h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There is an un-ewesual cheese made with ewe's milk made in Sussex which is made my the milk maids who also make cheese . The milk maids put on their embroidered frilly slips when making Slipcote cheese with Dill which is a favourite with Dil-an (Dylan) the sheep farmer.

I don't usually milk maids. I went to a barn dance with one, but the barn danced away from us.

There is a Jay that goes Jaywalking in Jaywick.

Don't go mocking jays for walking when they can fly. They probably have there reasons

- There, their, they're, she said, while patting my shoulkders gently.
- No reason for crying over spilt typos

The Yellowhammer birds hammer out a little bit of bread with no cheeeeeese because they are all cheesed off to find bread and cheese put out as bird food on bird tables for them to eat.

Every time the Jolly Green Giant sneezed, tiny round green orbs flew through the air. I collected them in a soup pot and made spit pea soup.

In the Ayrshire village of Daly, the villagers say their Daly prayers for their Daly bread. Every day they get their Daly newspapers with the Daily milk and bread.

One the Isle of Rum, the boxer, boxed herself in at the party because she drank too much fruit rum punch which made her drunk. She then fell over the large box made from wood from the box tree.

She had to stay in the wine cellar because there was no rum in the inn.

She was lucky enough to find a gourd filled with and instantly whined 'oh my gourd'

She briefly considered staying in the barn, but the animals all agreed that she was unstable.

When Sancho Panza got so old and sick he was no longer able to ride he had his donkey shot

Before Sancho Panza died, he got Alzheimer's and called his donkey "Hooty."

There is a wind up merchant who sells wind up time pieces and toys. The wind up merchant would also literally wind people up by over winding up their clocks and town hall clock as well as programming the mischievous life size wind up dolls for silly pranks.

The watchmaker had a daughter who she called Second Hand Rose.

I was so happy to find myself stuck in a time warp where I was stuck in a 1960's time loop where I could warp reality where I never moved from Ashington to London.

The Starship Enterprise was invaded by weavers. Suddenly the ship went into warp drive. Danger loomed ahead.

someone nicked the Captains table ? a crewman was stitched up for it

As Red Alert sirens sounded, Captain WIllie Eckerslike turned to his science officer and aid "Eee, there's trooble at t'mill".