h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We could make a new forum off the official entry: A763742

I'd be happy to let you use one of the Tripwire' conference rooms. The orbital facilities are excellent, and we've got good communications relays...

EVA, where is the TW ATM?
X:16, Y:42 TT6Y23

Bring us into orbit with the Starpilot Hotel Space Station and ask CV if I can have the Mercenarys' gear back.

I still think that having our ops forum off the official page would be better... but we'll take you up on your offer. Post the link when you've made the forum

F86300?thread=189285
And try not to get attacked on this one...

*Is impressed by the ships' low mileage*

Well, since we have an official mercenaries page, how about we stick it there? (*updates CV's entry on the page*)

And Krans, when you get here, with regard to what we're going to do next, might I throw three syllables at you. P.. C.. Tonks..

[SHSS traffic control] Tripwire, this is the Starpilot Hotel Space Station. Turn back immediately, or we shall be forced to unleash the Hitchhiker fleet, as well as our weaponry, on you.
*CV is gone*

*a message wings its way back to the SHSS traffic control office*.. Captain Venom, the capabilities of your fleet approximately match those of 10 type-3 Rapid Offensive Units. The GSV Incorrect Catachresis is, as we speak, making the short journey from its current location to that of ourselves, and I should warn you that the GSV keeps a standard compliment of approximately 5000 GSVs internally, constituting a quarter of this fleet of the cantina's extra-planetary primary defensive fleet. If you open fire, or otherwise commence hostile actionjs against the UBS Tripwire, the militant GSV Incorrect Catachresis and her full compliment of ROUs, MSVs, and spacial drones will take this as an action of war, and take whatever action necessary to prevent your space station from being able to take such action again in the future.

SHSS, Tripwire. You will immediately desist from hostile activities. If you refuse to do this, I will find every supporter of h2g2-LoC that I can find and come down on you like a ton of bricks. Tripwire out.

*thinks for a while*

SHSS, Tripwire. CV, you disgust me. You get kicked out of the Mercs, and rightly so, and you start throwing your toys out of your pram. Grow up.

EVA, continue course. When we get there, beam our stuff from the Merc War Room and my Office, then Axe-7 both of them.

*a small light lights up on one of the bridge's consoles, and an incoming hail is heard, the voice of a firm-sounding female*

(audio message) This is the ROU Incorrigable Rogue, you are presently being escorted by a squad of type-5 culture Rapid Offensive Units. We are matching your course at a distance of approximately 1 kilometre, off your port and starboard bows, with ROUs also on vectors above and below you in three-dimensional space. Request permission to link weapons systems in anticipation of armed resistance. Incorrigable Rogue out.

*another light lights up, and on a viewscreen, the following message appears*

(ROU Incorrigable Rogue #n30985034/001)

[swept-to-tight beam, M16.4, received @ n2.13.6.2012]

x ROU Incorrigable Rogue
o UBS Tripwire

Readout of escorting ships for your reference.

ROU Atrocious Table Manners
ROU Attitude Adjuster
ROU Coffee is not for kids
ROU Collateral Damage
ROU Hate and vengeance
ROU Highly Strung
ROU Killing Time
ROU Nobody Loves Me
ROU Reasonable Dount
ROU Speak Softly and Carry Big Guns
ROU Speed King
ROU You're 'avin a larrrf
ROU Zafeiz Heid?

Regards.


|8|

[EVA] Scanning ship list... adding new entries to tactical computer... Done.

[EVA] Beam-out complete. Moving to Bridge Holding Cell for security purposes. Done.

*a large amount of junk and the h2g2 Merc stuff appears in the Cell*

[EVA] Axe-7 completed. Bar Manager's Office: Destroyed. Merc. Room: Already Deleted.

*the ROUs move into a defensive vector around the Tripwire, minus the ROU Killing Time and the ROU Speak Softly and Carry Big Guns, which zip towards the space station, effectorising even the floor out of the mercenary war room, and displacing the dust that the mercenaries left behind into the nearest sun. The ROUs leave a pile of nasty surprises in the space formerly known as the mercenary war room for anyone who tries to use it. They then proceed to fill Axe's former office with the same nasty surprises, and then fill in all the gaps in the above rooms with superdense material, then buzzing away from the spacestation, drawing a polar graph (Y = 10Cos(2.5&#952 ) in space as they neatly weave their way back to the vanguard of the Tripwire*

*an audio message hails to the bridge of the Tripwire, a husky male*.. this is the ROU Killing time. Any further requests

*another audio message hails to the bridge, a particularly airheaded-sounding female*.. this is the ROU Speak Softly.. any further requests?


(ROU Incorrigable Rogue #n30983034/212)

[swept-to-tight beam, M32, received @ n2.13.6.2028]

x ROU Incorrigable Rogue
o UBS Tripwire; EVA

Tripwire EVA, further requests?

Regards.

*resumes radio control*

Team, Tripwire. This is your mission. The owner of this Hotel is anti-Borg. He continually breaks LoC. He has threatened us. We will not stand by while he does this. All units. Set a course, directly for the Starpilot Hotel Space Station. Weapons are loose. Expect return fire.

EVA, formulate a high-offensive plan.

(ROU Incorrigable Rogue #n30582634/719)

[swept-to-tight beam, M32, received @ n2.13.6.2059]

x ROU Incorrigable Rogue
o UBS Tripwire

Suggest waiting for backup. Arrival of GSV of Incorrect Catachresis anticipated shortly with number one taskforce of several thousand type-4 ROUs. Arrival of RPO Blatant Attempt At Self-Deprecating Wit and other orbital anticipated imminently after this. Force of this nature would considerably increase odds of implementation of successful attack strategy.

ROU Incorrigable Rogue is equipped with an advanced tactical mind, culture standard MO#23, and AI index A27. Incorrigable Rogue also has tactical experience in over 27 major galactic conflagrations. Suggest interfacing for more efficient tactical and strategic formulation, as well as more efficient interfacing with imminently present culture vessels.

Instruct


Regards.







(ROU Incorrigable Rogue #n30582634/719)

[broad beam, M32, received @ n2.13.6.2059]

x ROU Incorrigable Rogue
o Assembled ROUs

Gridfire and CAM authorised. Weapons online. Prepare for profile adjustment. Backup imminent. Opposition weak. Maximise damage. Life-force displacement default. Assume profile 2-5-Zeta. Try to restrict collateral Damage to non-allied vessels.

Regards.

[EVA] Parsing... Done.

Wait for GSV... Agreed.
Wait for other ships... Agreed.
Interfacing idea... Agreed.
Profile adjustment... Converting... Agreed.

Modifing Tactical Computer Interface to connect to I. Rouge... Done.

*the station is suddenly surrounded by a massive SEP field, and drive jets engage*

[EVA] Altering course to compensate for target movement.

*the Tripwire shakes slightly as the GSV Incorrect Catachresis neatly pulls out of energetic space and drops speed to match that of the Tripwire, coming to a grinding halt. Hundreds of kilometres of ship neatly slides into position behind the Tripwire. Space, from being empty but for the handful of craft already in it, now becomes a flurry of activity, the Catachresis's displacers working immensely hard in the femtosecond after stopping, displacing a taskforce of a thousand 200-metre-long type-4 ROUs similar to the type already tasked to protect the Tripwire. The thousand loop round the space station in a wide arc, leaving no angle unprotected. The Catachresis displaces more, almost entirely emptying its thousands-strong compliment of ROUs and MSVs into the space around the Tripwire and the space station*

*an avatar of the GSV's mind appears on the bridge of the tripwire and bows slightly in respect before all present, being proceeded by yet another culture-standard communiqué on the viewscreen*

*the avatar*.. excessive force is now in place, but there are two more large taskforces on their way should this be enough. However, equivalent as this is to the entirety of the culture forces at work during the idirian war, I have little inclination that any sane person would put up any sort of armed resistance against us.

(GSV Incorrect Catachresis #n32489723/001)

[swept-to-tight beam, M64, received @ n2.14.6.1100]

x GSV Incorrect Catachresis
o UBS Tripwire

Reinforcements in place. Shiplist attached. All ships weapons-hot. Further ships expected.

Regards.

*the avatar smiles at all on the bridge, and through a link back to the GSV, discusses quietly with the EVA what the mind considers the best several hundred courses of action*