h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is a very large room, with many doors branching off a large wall opposite you. The decoration is functional but stylish, and you guess that the room was furnished by Axe Storm himself. There is a reception desk in the centre of the room. As you approach it, you hear a small click as a pressure sensor activates. A hologram appears before you, the ship's computer obviously has a visual interface. You look around but cannot see the projection device that is being used.

[EVA] Hello, and welcome to the UBS Tripwire. I am EVA, the ship's computer. Once you are registered with the voice control systems on this vessel, I will be happy to help you with any queries that you may have. If you are already registered with the voice control systems on the Starpilot Hotel Space Station, I can transfer your user profile to this system. Please note that, due to the refitting currently in progress, most of the ship is off-limits to non-maintainence personnel.

However, primary systems are in place, and we are pleased to offer you a room in the hotel for free, and full access to the bar, in which you may purchase moderately priced consumables.

EVA, recognise Axe Storm, System Administrator.

[EVA] Accessing profile data... Voiceprint confirmed. Welcome to the UBS Tripwire.
*EVA gestures to one of the doors opposite*
My records indicate that work on your office is complete. I am awaiting your presence in there, as you need to complete your user profile. Also, I have some system report summaries for you to look over, and I need you to help me complete the Adaptive Language Systems.

[Axe] Thanks EVA. By the way, I want to be notified if anyone enters the ship.

[EVA] OK. Ship conversation postings will be added to your status system.

[Axe] Are the IR projection systems set up shipwide yet?

[EVA] Yes, the mechanics completed the adjustments to my projection system three hours ago.

[Axe] OK. I'll be in my office.
*walks through the door to his office*

Eva, please transfer User Profile #1, Captain Venom, from the SHSS onboard.

[EVA]Voiceprint Confirmation... Done. Transferring... Complete. Welcome aboard, Captain.

[CV] If you wouldn't mind preparing a turbolift to the bar, it would be much appreciated. And tell Axe that he has quite the nice place here.

[EVA] Done. Thanks for visiting.

Hey, EVA, what's the ETA on the Reactor Core thread?

[EVA] About five days.

[Axe] Thanks.

*a red light appears over the door to Axe's office, which seems to be locked*

[EVA] Safety protocols activated. Weapons testing online.

*runs off to a stateroom somewhere*

*The light blinks off*

[EVA] Weapons testing disengaged. Office access granted. Crosschecking your identity with the Retinal Clearence System... Confirmed as Venom. You have one new message. Playing...

[Axe's Voice] Hey Venom, this is Axe. Feel free to wait around in my office for a while, and we'll go out on the test flight on Monday or something. I've got a few problems... net connection ATM. Tell EVA... ...I said you're allowed in. I've wired the door into your profile. CUL8R!

[EVA] Message Ends.

Thank you, EVA. Axe said that I could go in his office.

[EVA] Thanks for telling me

*the office door opens*

*walks toward the bridge*

*follows him*

*unsubscribes from conv. to save space*

OK.

*The Central Hub disappears into a black hole*