h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Ribald] There's Doom and X-Zone, both of which have an 85% chance of failure except when the target is invisible, in which case the chance of failure is 0%. I don't know either of them, nor do I know Vanish, which makes the target invisible.

i'm back!!!!!!!!!! results, some more results and 320 miles. wwwwwhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


(Lizzy) hey ho! i thought i'd never catch you! eeewwwwwwwwwww, what's that? *points in general to rockbitereythingy*

* The ice spell clearly makes damage, albeit not enough to destroy the rockbiter, who merely screams in pain as the freezing water cracks up some of the small fissures in his "skin". Azrael wakes up and finds himself closest to the rockbiter. *

[Azrael] Wha.. huh? Crap.

* The rockbiter, having recovered from Kal's spell, spots Azrael. *

[Rockbiter] NONE.. SHALL..

[Azrael] Yes, we got that!

* A deafening boom is heard as the rockbiter's huge rocks-for-hands makes contact with the ground right where Azrael was just a second ago. *

[Azrael] Thank the Gods for adrenaline and my predominant survival instinct.

* He makes a strategic withdrawal. *

[Azrael] Kal, could you distract it again so I can get a chance to stab it in the heart?

(Rosie) um, Lizzy, if you want to get any closer, you're walking

(Lizzy) ah, yes, well, i think that Azrael's managing fine!

hehe! i'll just sit down on a comfy rock!

[Ribald] A distraction? Well, if that's ... OH CRAP!

[Lampwick completely loses balance, and everything he is carrying, including Ribald, falls down onto the rockbiter's head.]

(lizzy) ouch! that should have done it!

Wow, there are five possibilities here for that to have happened: A) the tower of Lampwick is very very tall, B) Lampwick threw all our stuff up into the air when he fell, C) the rockbiter was crouching for some reason, D) a combination of the options above, or E) this is a free-form RPG and no one really cares how it happened, it just did.


[Azrael] Uh.. Actually, that's perfect.

* The rockbiter is trying to rid itself of a tent that blocks his sight. Azrael rushes forward, his sword alight, jumps up towards the rockbiters chest and stabs it through the heart. Or he would have, if the sword hadn't just skidded off the rock-hard chest. *

[Azrael] Crap.

* He retreats again. *

[Azrael] Um, ok... Apparently, fire has absolutely no effect.

* He tries the same maneuver, this time with magical poisonous slime all over his sword, but to no avail. *

[Azrael] Alright, I'm out of ideas. Can anyone else here enchant a sword?


I'm thinking Chronotrigger combo.

[Ribald] Take your pick: Fire, Ice, or Bolt.

[Azrael] Uh.. Let's try Ice.

(lizzy) oooooooooooo, this is getting interesting!

[[Antipode Sword]]

[Ribald casts Ice on Azrael's sword.]

[Ribald] Wait ... /Antipode/ sword??

[Yeah. There's still fire energy on it.]

[Ribald] Okay...

* Kal: casts Penetrate on Azrael's sword *

* Azrael's sword: 75% chance of penetrating any physical obstacle (yes, that includes the Rockbiter) *

* Kal: casts Hold Object on the tent *

[Kal] That should reduce the chance of the Rockbiter getting the tent of its head...

* Azrael jumps high up in the air, cloak fluttering in the wind, his sword held aloft as the Ice and Penetrate spells hits it. The sword, engulfed in ice and fire, catches the sunlight for a moment, and after what seems to be little less than an infinity, it comes down forcefully on the struggling Rockbiter's chest, penetrating its cold heart of stone. As the rock monster drops to its knees, Azrael pushes hard with his feet to dislodge the sword, and lands shortly thereafter next to his fellow adventurers after a swift somersault through the air. The Rockbiter hits the ground, dead. *

[Azrael] Wow. We actually make a great team.

Btw, YK... Have you played every single RPG in the entire world?

No ... just the first six Final Fantasy games, and all the Zelda games so far, and Chrono Trigger, and Terranigma, and Super Mario RPG, and Earthbound, and Dragon Warrior 4 (for NES), and Dragon Quest 6, and Breath of Fire 1 ... So far, though, I've only beaten FF6, SMRPG, Zelda: A Link to the Past, Link's Awakening, CT, and Oracle of Seasons.


[Ribald] Hey, I just had a thought ... Anyone know Teleport? I know a QuadraTech called Tele-Pan-Tipode...

Oh no! YK hasn't played Baldur's Gate or BG2!!!! Or Secret of Mana or Secret of Evermore for that matter! Horror!


[Kal] Who needs to teleport when you can fly? Nice sword work there Azrael.

[Ribald] Well, the way Tele-Pan-Tipode works is, someone uses a pie pan as a weapon, Antipode gets used on it, and the person holding the pie pan gets teleported above the monster being attacked.

[Azrael] *to Ribald* No, I don't know Teleport, sorry. *to Kal* Thanks.

* He wipes some sweat off his brow, sheats his sword and mounts his horse. *

[Azrael] Shall we continue?