h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Kal] That does not sound like an event I would like to see come to pass. I will check the gorge for you. Wait here until I return.

* he flies off up the gorge *

* There doesn't seem to be any loose rocks or any other signs of an impending landslide, as far as Kal can tell. *

[Ribald] .....

* Kal comes back *

[Kal] All appears well. You may proceed without fear of being pulped by falling boulders.

"Hamster"?! We'll have none of that, thank you!


[Azrael] Good. Thanks. *still a bit suspicious looking* Ok, we'll get going then.

* He gives the black steed a rather subtle taste of the reins and rides on. *

[Ribald] Forward, Lampwick!

[Lampwick starts picking his way down the mountainside.]

* Kal follows the party, occasionally darting off seemingly randomly. One time he does this, there is a small but bright flash of light, and a medium-sized thunderclap *

[Kal] I just can't stand gnats.

[Azrael] Me neither. You know..

* He's interrupted by a rumbling noise, and suddenly a large rock hits the ground a few yards ahead of them. Azrael's horse is startled, but quickly calms down. *

[Azrael] What?! I thought you said there were no loose rocks! Crap, you're one of those Sons of Darkn..

* But Azrael is interrupted by the rock again. This time it seems to be unfolding, an arm here, a leg there, until it's achieved humanoid form. It turns out to be quite big. *

[Azrael] Looks like a rockbiter.

[Rockbiter] NONE.. SHALL.. PASS.

[Kal] Honestly, you're lying already! This is quite intolerable.

* he's flying around behind the Rockbiter *

[Kal] I apologise for not spotting this annoyance on my earlier examination of the gorge.

* the rockbiter tries to swat Kal with his big, slow hands *

[Rockbiter] NONE.. SHALL.. PASS..

* Azrael sighs. *

* Kal flies up out of the way of the Rockbiter's hands *

[Kal] Canst thou not do better than that, foul creature?

[Rockbiter] NONE! SHALL! PASS!

* He keeps trying to grab/swat/kill Kal, but is just too slow. *

[Azrael] Ok, that was fun for about one second.

* Azrael unmounts and draws his flame engulfed sword in one swift movement. He then advances on the rockbiter. *

[Azrael] I seem to remember that these things have a heart...

* The rockbiter seems distracted by Kal. *


Thought I'd pause here in case YK wants to do something.

[A lightbult appears above Ribald's head and he grins widely, raising a finger. He opens his mouth to speak.]

[Lampwick] No.

[Ribald] You're right. It's too easy.

[Lampwick] Do you still have the Magicite?

[Ribald] Ooh! Great idea! Too bad I don't know "Scan"; we could find out his weakness pretty quick.

[Lampwick] Just summon Leviathan already!

[Ribald] Huh? Oh.

[[Summon: Leviathan]]

[Leviathan appears.]

[[Tsunami]]

[It cleans the Rockbiter's clock.]

* The tsunami leaves the rockbiter unharmed. It's like trying to wear down a mountain with a bucket of water. *


Ha!


* It does manage to knock Azrael unconscious, though. *

[Ribald] D'OH!! Rock-types are weak against water in Pokemon!

[Lampwick] This isn't Pokemon.

[[Bolt]]

[Ribald throws a thunderbolt at the rockbiter.]

* (Kal: Casts Blindess: Rockbiter) Kal comes to a hover, raises his small fairy arms and starts sucking light into himself. It gets quite dark, and then a wave of absolute blackness engulfs the Rockbiter at the same time full daylight returns. The blackness stays there, dissipating only lightly around the edges as the spell starts to expire (which will happen in four posts' time) *

[Lampwick nearly loses his balance.]

* The rockbiter staggers a bit as the bolt hits it. *

[Rockbiter] AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

[[Roll Attack]]

* It folds up into a ball of rock and rolls .. away from the adventurers. In other words, Kal's taunting and Blindness strategy seems to have completely disoriented it, and the attack misses. It then rolls back to its original position and unfolds. *

[Rockbiter] NONE.. SHALL.. PASS!!

[[Ice]]

[Ribald uses the ice move he used previously.]

* (Rockbiter: Blindness expires) *

[Kal] Are any of this noble party familiar with how one removes such a creature as this from one's path, permanently?