h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

this should be interesting....

*From the pobservation tower at CLI, Affy watches the Raven begin its ever increasing dive towards Mt. SandEverest*

They'll have it fixed in a few seconds. Come on, GL, let's get to work!

*clears his throat*

Im still sitting here next to the statue affy.

*The ground begins to vibrate from the direction of CLI. The vibrations become more intense until they feel like they are coming from directly below. Gradually the vibrations fade away. After some time, a quiet rumbling slowly gets marginally louder, then disappears in the direction of CLI.*

*Wonders how long it'll take for the Raven to change directions. It's getting awfully close to crashing*

Good job, GL. We're ready in the event that Red doesn't win the election. Let's go back to the statue.

*Pushes a button on his watch and vanishes, reapearing at the statue*

*Brushes dust off of hands, takes off hardhat and follows Affy to the statue.*

*Meanwhile, on board the Raven, most of the villains are either arguing with each other, or fighting over who gets to read the instruction manual*

Okay, according to this, we push the red button.

*Looks at the buttons*

Red, you should really start labelling these things if you decide to paint them all the same color.

Look, I'm going to be a bit upset if I the Raven gets destroyed.

Or perhaps I won't -- since I might get to design another one.

Nah, can someone save her please?

Well, assuming he didn't mess with Lenore, it should be no problem. Of course, concidering that he and GL BUILT and PROGRAMMED her in the first place -- maybe we should hit the verticle lift controls?

*looks at the buttons*
hmm... is it that one? no, it's that one. or... perhaps that one? oh dear... that mountain is looking awfully close...
*turns into a puddle and finds a corner to hide in to avoid injury*

*wonders whether this is the time to mention that he could teleport the raven so safety if anyone asked*

*The Space Station begings to turn its protruding funnel slightly...in the direction of the Raven...*
*A voice iis emited from the 'station, but it isn't the Computer...*

Oh, dear, what have we here then? no worries...I'll have you out in a jiffy...

*the lightning flitting across the funnel on the botto of the 'station changes to red...and then fires down towards the hurtling ship...*
*the ship halts slowly as the beam enbraces it in a shield holding it in its clutches...*
*after the ship stops the shield turns it in a direction away from the mountain, and speeds it away again...*

There, all better now? Good...
Computer, train the emitter back to the statue...

That's a relief.

*Picks up the statue hping to carry it away, realises it is too heavy and drops it on his tail*

Interesting. I am now in incredible pain.

*faints*

*rematerializes*
omg! redfish!
*teleports down to the statue and lifts the statue off of redfish (telekinetically) and sets it back on the pedestal*
redfish? are you okay?

I know what also makes that sam sound! It's Arttu! But I'm not quite sure if he's not exploded or anything...

*sits on the lawn eating a bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich, drinking wine and watching all the non sequiturs*

Amy, I sympathise with your feelings about the Raven. I would hate to lose the memorial, too. But if the bomb ~does~ go off, hey, I won't be around to have regrets. Would you like a sandwich? Some wine?

Don't mind if I do, Lil.

I was thinking... when the election is over, do you think we could use this statue as a road safety teaching aid?

*Returns*

Ah, Big C, didja hafta save the Raven? It's been causing me some trouble on the mission to Zork. Oh, well. What would life be like without villains? Of course, I wonder where the Raven got hurled to?

*Meanwhile, the Raven is just slowing down, and turning around. It got a bit too close to the Sun for comfort with that toss*

Oh, well.

*Looks at the bomb*

Big C, I'm not sure shielding just the bomb would work. Could you inverse the shield so that it protects everything except the bomb? Maybe it would blow itself up.

Well, you've got to protect these bombs. They're very delicate.