h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As some of you may no I seem to have got myself involved in 'Skeptics on the Pub', and we're always keen to welcome new members. Basically we have a talk in a pub, followed by a chat.. and gossip, we always make an effort to talk to new people afterwards. People often join because they want to meet likeminded friends, and we often get new people coming along on their own.

Recently someone made the observation that men are more likely to go to an event or group alone, hoping to make new friends there, whereas some women will only come along if they have a friend who is willing to go with them.

What about you - would you go to an event alone? Or would you rather find someone to go with? Would you *not* go to something you did want to see because no one else was going.

What would make you more likely to go along to an event on your own?

Z

I recently joined a walking group where I knew nobody, which was a bit nervewracking!

I generally prefer to go with somebody but if it's something I really want to do I would go alone. I have gone alone to a few concerts before.

I am not sure if this would extend to a holiday abroad though!

I go to events alone most of the time. If it's the kind of event I know a friend would like to attend too, I ask. But for going to a movie or a library program, I go alone. I'm a guy, though, so I seem to be strengthening the hypothesis given above.

I prefer going with someone, but will go on my own. In fact the first gig I ever went to, at 16, was on my own, because I didn't have any gig-going mates at the time. That took a bit of willpower.

I am male.

Perhaps you should combine this question with a request for respondent's Briggs Myers profile, since I bet that will have a bearing on who does what.

Female, INTJ, and I went to an event on my own last night (a screening of The Commitments in a big tent)

I was supposed to meet friends there, but they couldn't make it, and I had no qualms about going alone.

Thanks all. I remember being very nervous going to events on my own when i was a teenager, but now I'm a bit more confident and I can't remember what I was nervous about. I think I thought people would think I was 'sad' if I had no friends to go with.

With my hat on I feel obliged to point out that the Myers Briggs test has methodological issues: specifically if you take in a different mood there's a 50% chance it will show a different personality type. http://skeptoid.com/episodes/4221

Though I strongly suspect the Introvert / extrovert spectrum would be very relevant here..

I'd be quite happy go to an event on my own, but it seems to me that there's a big difference if you're going to a meeting which involves discussion and possibly public speaking, or a concert/cinema/play/gig where your own contribution is minimal.

I once drove 200 miles to stay in a complete stranger's house and go to a hootoo meet.

It was fine until I met 2legs...

B

Glad you put your hat on Z. The MB would be hopeless for me because of mood affects..but its true of anyone to a degree..also confidence levels...but then there is how much you'll push yourself and take risks..that's me. Can get you in hot water..but can mean you get the chance to experience the unexpected and life enhancing stuff. Like going off on your own to an event or even travel.

Yeah don't know how that fits with introvert/extravert. I'm a mixture..but then am about most things..hence tendency to 'mixed state'

What's the saying? 'Feel the fear and do it anyway' Hmmmm...not sure

Apart from mundane things like going the cinema, I hate going to events on my own and unless it's something I'm really looking forward to there's a pretty good chance I'll drop out. The problem is I'm quite shy and really struggle with opening conversations with people I don't know.

Mu mentions his first meet: I very nearly chickened out of going to the Manchester Meet earlier this year despite knowing a bunch (in the online sense) of people there and it being held in one of my favourite bars. I'm glad I didn't because I had a blast, but it would have been a lot easier if a hootooer I know in RL (which is pretty much just Clive these days) had been there.

I went to Toastmasters on my own with no qualms.

And I've been to a couple of walking tours of the history of gay Dublin (the first such tour was also my first gay event of any sort whatsoever).

And I felt perfectly fine both times.

But put me in a place where I know some people, am vaguely acquainted with others, and don't know others at all, and I get very socially nervous. I think it's because I freak a bit when people know who I am but I don't know who they are, so the mixture of know slightly and don't know bothers me, because I lose track of which category each person is in.

Or something.

TRiG.

Male. Have done MB test, but forget the result.

Oh, and first hootoo meet was easy: I knew no one to see, so my poor facial recognition wouldn't be a problem.

Later hootoo meets were okay, because I knew they'd be fun anyway.

TRiG.

meets are a little different but... I've gone on my own to those except the one that the Gruesomes came to, but by then I knew a few people iRL by then anyway

I don't worry about going to things alone, in fact in many circumstances I prefer it.

But then I'm a gobby loudmouth (and a girl)

When deciding to go or not, I try to think how disappointed I'd be not to attend the event. I went to a Rock Festival on my own once and had a blast.

Done a fair few things on my todd, though I would normally prefer to go with others. I am a pretty gregarious and confident person so not really got to much of an issue with these kinda things if I think I am going to have a good time.

One which I did once do was go to a Wedding of an old University mate, being single I just went on my own and I didn't know anyone there apart from the Groom and his Mum.

This was fine during the early part of the wedding but later on when everyone stated getting a little, lubricated, it became really difficult. I founf at the event people were very closed off into their family friend groups (not surprising really) and didn't really want to spend ages talking to someone they had just met that day.

Ended up going to my room at about half 8!

FB

I knew when I applied for Olympic tickets that I'd go on my own, (none of my mates are much into sport or the whole pantomime), but they are pleased for me. I've sent off the boxing one which has been re-sold, as I faced up to not really being into that, and it might well be an excessively macho atmosphere.

But the athletics is really what I want to see, and it isn't a problem to go to something like that on your own...but it probably would be more fun if I went with a friend who was into that.

It would depend on how much I wanted to go. If it was something that I was interested in, I would definitely go. If I wasn't that fussed it would depend on how I felt on the day (basically depending on how lazy I felt). Going alone to stuff rarely bothers me.

Sort of related; many years ago a friend set me up on a blind date with her pal and we agreed to meet at the Black Bull in Guildford. I arrived 10 minutes early and waited. She arrived 5 minutes early and waited.

Unfortunately, I was inside and she was outside It never occurred to me that "nice" girls wouldn't go into a pub alone.

I'm off to the Olympic footie today and, through a combination of events, will be meeting a complete stranger and going along with her. I was initially supposed to be going with my foster dad but he's asked if I minded if another one of his waifs and strays (he does seem to collect us like normal people collect strange coins), who I've never met, can come instead.

I have to say, I'm not looking forward to it and not just because I've got a gnawing suspicion he's trying to set me up on a date. Still I'm going because I really want to go to the footie. I've got various acquaintances who'll be dotted around the ground so before and after I'll be able to chat with them if I'm struggling/this stranger doesn't show up.