h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's quite interesting. Perhaps because I'm a Brit who does like tipping. But I am uncomfortable with the '15% mandatory' tipping culture in the States. I appreciate that waiters and cooks get paid minimum wage and there are no Silver Service or residential benefits like there are over here (less tax as well I think?), but if service is poor, it shouldn't be seen as socially unacceptable to pay nothing.

I think it's possible to be creative: I went out for an Italian meal once where the service was dire and grumpy (we have a track record of picking the country's worst Italian restaurants), but the food was pretty good and well presented. 45 minutes after our main course had been finished in an almost-deserted restaurant, our table hadn't been cleared and we hadn't been offered dessert, so I asked for the bill, took our spaghetti plates back to the serving hatch and slipped a fiver under one of them, thanked the kitchen staff loudly and sincerely, paid the exact bill and left. If the message wasn't clear, then the FOH staff must have been dimmer than I thought.

B

Several years ago my wife and I were returning from a week's vacation on Grand Cayman Island. As we waited for our luggage in the Custom's lounge at Miami airport a British Airways 757 landed and her passengers joined us in the lounge.

One family had two boys, probably about 10 and 6 years old.

The older was quite animated and as he looked out the window I heard him shout to his brother 'Look Oliver, there is the lorry with the petrol, and here is the trolley with the grips!'

It was all I could do to keep from telling him that it was a Fuel truck and the baggage cart with the suitcases.

FS

I think it's interesting how hard-wired it is into American society. A lad I knew at Uni who was from Virginia couldn't get his head around not tipping, even if the service was awful.

We went out for a curry in Rusholme one night (thankfully the place we went is long gone now) and we were being stared at, pointed at and giggled at (in Manchester, where two gay lads are hardly a rarity) all night long. The food was pretty rubbish too. We had our meal but when the bill came he was still going to give a tip - I had to drag him out of there to stop him.

"well, yes Mr. Dreadful (and Icy North too) Television portrays nothing but reality"

Which is why I was asking; in case you missed that I was making an enquiry as to how well TV reflects reality in those situations, rather than actually assuming it is a wholly accurate portrayal.

An even more classic blunder than going against a Sicilian when death is on the line is trying to be sarcastic with the British.

Here tips are usually 10% I think. The waiters don't have to live on it. Depending on the service it's of course lowered or you give more, sometimes nothing at all.

"If you're dealing with a customer, why wouldn't you be courteous? You're asking someone for money. Politeness would help close the deal"

The thing is, "the deal" seems different in the US.

In the US, it seems, "the deal" is: I, the waiter, will be polite, attentive, courteous, quick, accurate and solicitous. You, the punter, will be generous with your tip if satisfied I've held up my end of the deal.

In the UK, by contrast, "the deal" is this: I, the waiter, am paid a pitiful wage and probably treated like dirt by my employer. You, the punter, are going to pay for your meal when you've eaten it, and there's nothing you or I can do to change that fact, assuming I don't physically spill it into your lap. So, given how you're going to have to pay anyway, and you're probably not going to tip me anyway, what possible motivation have I got to be more than minimally competent? It's not even as if the boss is going to fire me for not being any good - it's hard to fire people in the UK.

"In the US, it seems, "the deal" is: I, the waiter, will be polite, attentive, courteous, quick, accurate and solicitous. You, the punter, will be generous with your tip if satisfied I've held up my end of the deal."

Frequent visitors to the States tell me that the following is often more accurate:

'You, the punter, will be generous with your tip [whether or not you are] satisfied I've held up my end of the deal.'

And woe betide you if you fail to give at least 20% to taxi drivers - they may well chase you up the street.

Are wait staff the only place where people notice a difference in customer satisfaction?

No, people in Europe generally don't have this huge grin or however you want to call it when dealing with customers. Some are just unfriendly and let you know 'I do something for you so be happy if I do it and don't expect me to be friendly too because that was not included in the price'.

By and large I think the manner of service is important. If my needs aren't addressed I can leave and go to the next place down the street. Plus I'll talk about what happened to my friends. On the other hand, I'll talk about good service.

I'm a civil servant. When someone calls me, I want them to be pleased with the service I provide. They pay their taxes every time they buy something. Since they support me, I feel like they deserve good service.

Armed Response Units in Glasgow...

I'm told there's a white van that circles the Gorbals full of guys with Uzis at the ready. They're not the Polis. They're Russian. Like the police, they don't have to use their weapons often.

Cocktails. Pretty much every bar knows how to make the standard cocktail. It's not considered odd to ask for one.

Americans seem to be either abstemious or alcoholics. On the one hand, I've felt awkward asking others if they want another (weak) beer. On the other, some people's lax attitude to 'DUI' has shocked me. (although generally it's regarded with horror = more so than in the UK.)



One time I was working near Leesburg, Va. When I told colleagues I intended to spend some tome in DC, they warned me it was 'the murder capital of the us.' I twigged tat this was subtle code for 'It's a black city.' I'm not saying there was racism as such - this just reflects the economically segregated nature of US society.

However...some of the attitudes rub off. I got off the Metro and discovered it was raining. A huge, black guy stepped out in front of me, reached into his jacket and pulled something out. I damn near wet myself. 'Umbrella, man? Five bucks.'

This was my wake up call. Trust your own street smarts, not others' lack of them.

I bought my wedding suit in DC.

ED, I gotta know, did you buy the rainbrella?

~jwf~

Mr D:

>>Here in Blighty we tip only when the service has been good, whereas I get the impression that across the pond the tip is more in exchange for not getting bad service and you tip up front to ensure good service

Tipping etiquette is a huge topic and possibly deserves a whole new thread (). But maybe I'm an unpatriotic tipper. My custom is:

- A standard 10% and a bit, so long as the service isn't awful.

- More, on a sliding scale, if the service is good and/or the waitperson is friendly/attractive.

- Tip in cash. The UK is the only EU country where tips can legally count towards minimum wage - unless they are paid in cash. (or has this now changed)

- In some kinds of bar, there is a tips dish. Tip at every drink - but it doesn't have to be 10%. Make sure the money chinks loudly in the bowl. This gives the staff positive feedback and subtly reminds others to tip.

- The secret of good service is to be known for extravagant tipping. That's not quite true. There are certain bars with friendly staff where I make sure to tip generously. However - I don't think the staff are nice just because I tip them.

When I was a waitress (in the uk) most people did tip! Bizarrely I found ineptness with smiles got bigger tips than efficiency. I've always found it common to tip for food but that drinks vary according to the establishment. When I worked in a rough pub most people said 'and your own' and the convention was to take 10p. It worked out about £5 per night (in 1997). In classier establishments and chain pubs people seem to tip less.

In America I found the wealth differentials quite shocking. Driving in the south there were areas that were little more than shanty towns.

I also found the differences between different parts of America surprising.

My American friends in the UK seemed most surprised by the size of English houses (small) and a lack of built in storage.

That's another thing that surprised me:

'This is the part of town we don't stop the car in.'

"This is the part of town we don't stop the car in."

We've got one of those in Swindon. Got so bad at one point they had to suspend the bus service to that area.

I recall being taken on a tour of South Boston
by a former air-force gunner in his upscale SUV.
A lot bigger yes, but it looked a lot like some
areas of Halifax that have since been bulldozed.
In high school I used to be the 'summer driver'
who delivered ice-cream to that part of town and
the trip through South Boston was more nostalgic
than frightening for me. Then somebody threw a
brick at the SUV and we sped away in a criminal
fashion. Not as much fun apparently as firing a
gatling gun (2000 rounds per minute) from the side
door of a C-47 at Vietnamese villagers.
Karma is a bitch.

~jwf~

There used to be large swathes of Liverpool that buses refused to go into after dark. Same for sensible motorists. Don't know if it's still the same.

On the Glasgow to Alexndria trains, the ticket collectors used to lock themselves in the toilets.