h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If you measure from the top of scotland to the south coast of england on a map, the middle is roughly around what people call the 'north'.

Of england, maybe...

In Germany it's easier. You see Hamburg? North of it is 'north', south of it is 'south', also known as 'Bavaria'.

Speaking as a soft southerner, anything north of the Watford Gap is 'up north'.

A friend of mine from Stoke once told me of her mate, Peggy, who claimed to eat southerners for breakfast.

It's grim up North London.

RF

It used to really wind me up at uni. All the Southerners called me a Northerner, and all the Northerners called me a Southerner. It's called the Midlands for a reason, people!

It's funny how even in Scotland if someone says 'up north' meaning the north of Scotland, it is almost always pronounced "oop norrrrth" even though the sheep botherers have their own language up there

no, no, no....
its t'up north
as the welsh speakers will agree

catch up post.
Yorkshire is Yorkshire. I don't buy into all this "South" business and have never used it. (likewise when I write to family in Middlesborough I also write Yorkshire.

Toybox: I do NOT live in lederhosendirndl land

oh that reminds me - I've got something for you, if only I knew what had done with it.

Now... what was that about me living in Bavaria?

No no, I remember now, you live near the best city in NRW, which pretty much means the best city in Germany

Went to Rocky Horror recently with Steve Pemberton narrating.. he got to the bit about the castle when an audience member shouted "It's a local castle for local people!", Steve Pemberton immediately screeched "WE DIDN'T BURN HIM!"

Any news from the ticket evildoers?

Started reading one of the links (Guardian I think), two comments from train staff - one relating a sarcastic comment to a customer (thinks is ok cuz of the amount of excuses they receive), and another stating he's not daft cuz he has an IQ of 169. Sounded just like a forum troll.. "yeah well I'm not an idiot cuz I've got a really high IQ and pass lots of very clever tests" .. the usual rubbish.
Neither made generic train staff look any better at all!

After I get half-way to Sheffield for college, I receive a phonecall that all my classes for today are cancelled. So £5.40 wasted. Wonderful. I change platforms and get the next south-bound train which, happily is delayed by half-an-hour.

I alight at Chesterfield, and walk smack bang into another ad-hoc ticket inspection in the tunnel.

Don't Panic - this time I had my tickets , but I saw plenty of irate people remonstrating with staff (one guy was threatening to call the police) and off in one corner the people being interviewed by the "Revenue Protection Officers" Brought back memories....

Not this time being accused of something I didn't do, I took the opportunity to ask a few questions, such as 'how come there was no announcement of a platform ticket inspection made on the train?" Answer: "we are not required to." Interesting. I mentioned I'd fallen fowl of this after throwing my tickets away. "Doesn't matter if you can't produce a ticket when asked you'll be fined."

At this he directed my attention to a newly erected poster that had appeared in the tunnel, I tried to get a photo of it, but sadly the focus on my phone wasn't co-operating, so I hope you can make out most of it.


Here it is:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2616/4147024894_0d1864bc7e_o.jpg

So what you can make out of it, what do you make of this?

Is there one of these in your station?




*on the basis that anywhere with the phrases such as "democratic", "free", included in the title is not

Had those in Liverpool and Manchester for a while now (I think Merseyrail might have pioneered it), but not made it to Bradford/Leeds yet.

I'd have directed the guy to the date on the poster.

You noticed that too, huh?

I wonder if that means they'll stop letting you buy tickets on board. (maybe)

I wonder if they'll be insisting on everyone pre-purchasing tickets before travel if they start having more than 2 out of 3 windows operating or either of the ticket machines fully functional. (who am I kidding?)

Unless you use an unmanned station, yes. From now on you'll have to buy your ticket before you get on the train.

That's what was pissing off the "I'll call the police guy" today. From what I overheard, he'd pre-booked his ticket but lost the booking slip. He was late (after searching for the ticket presumably) and resigned to purchasing a ticket on the train, which was on the platform as he was being held up by the staff who wouldn;t let him pass without the ticket he didn't have, and were insisting he re-ascend the stairs and queue up.

what happens when little jimmy is going on his first trip, and mam and dad take him to the station, carry his case and put him safely on the train?????, do mum and dad have to buy tickets to take him to the platform??

any news on your letter to them??

>>Unless you use an unmanned station, yes. From now on you'll have to buy your ticket before you get on the train.<<

Can the prophet open their third eye and foresee whether I should bring a hat on that Monday as the queues on the Monday will be out of the door....

I think this hard-assed attitude is going to be rife with difficulty and conflict.

Derby station (one stop further south atfer Chesterfield) has ticket barriers like the tube does in London, you can't get *near* the platform without a ticket.


No word yet. Kind of anti-climatic really. I did ask for notification if I was being cleared so I'll chase that up at some point....