h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

yes atually I do know of an equl relationship where every body involed is delersy happy it is sickaning why carnt htings like that happen to me.
Why are you getting devorced (If it is not to pesanal any way)

Slug, sorry no brothers. But he's very handsome & by this time next year will be available! I'd love to find him a new wife, but alas most of the gals I know are either already married, or too mean! And he deserves a nice lady! Afraid the story would remain the same.

Ooops, sorry Bob, I missed your post. I'm not sure how to answer that
as he's very kind. But he dosen't like to work. At home he'll work all day, just not where he gets paid for it...he's THE worst lover I've ever had & refuses to learn/try any changes. I feel quiet used. He brags about me all the time. (I'm considered a good catch around here
and all together I've had 13 offers of marriage) Whenever he meets someone he'll say,"Do you know Valerie______? Well that's who I'm married to!" It's like I'm his 'arm candy'. The reason I'm so hooked on h2g2 is because I actually get adult conversation!!! I love to converse. But Bear rarely has anything to say. The only time we spend together is when he's showing me off, or when we play scrabble! And last year I had a miscarriage (on Mother's Day of all times) and he said,"Good, now we won't have to pay to get rid of it." I love him, but in a brotherly way, I guess. I would much rather be alone & live by the sea. I hate to do this to him & I'll miss our cabin! But you only go 'round once (for sure)...so why be unhappy? Sorry to go on so.

There is nothing to be sorry about and you dont derseve tobe alone ether but as long as you are shur you will be happy. that is my only advice on that sort of situation make shure you will be happy.

I have never been lonely! I stopped going to most of his family gatherings a long time ago, Thanksgiving & the like. I don't mind being alone as long as I have a big dog & a gun or two

There's nothing at all wrong with changing roles and I'd do it tomorrow if my wife found a job that could support us both. I doubt that many ladies really manage to raise a family and keep a successful career going. Usually it's the children that suffer. They're farmed out to creches and child minders 'till they start school, then Mum or Dad's never there when they come home from school bursting with important news. Too many children suffer real harm by parents caring more about job and money than giving love and attention to thier offspring. I know, I've been there!
As for men bullying women, maybe some men abuse women, but there is far more psychological abuse of men by women than is ever seen on TV chat shows and sexual harrassment is the cry of every woman who dresses to get the attention of men then doesn't like the sort of attention she attracts

Oooo...said that last bit to the wrong person! I always dressed in tailored suits & flat shoes while at work! I never wore much make-up &
never used perfume! I had to be careful with my patients...always a chance of transferance. But my supervisor set out to 'get' me. First by asking nicely for dates then by threaghtening my job & education!
Even tried to force himself onto me when my hands were full of files,
not exactly what I'd cosider sexy behavior. I also am a survivor of being a 'latch key kid' (home alone after school). What it taught me was a powerful sense of independence. Sorry it had a different effect on you. If it still bothers you, a few short sessions with a good therapist would truely help heal the wounded child within!

Sorry Pan, that'll teach me to get into a discussion with an expert. I still maintain that the majority of 'farmed out' kids lose out in the long run. I didn't intend to give the impression that I was one but my wife was and was seriously screwed up by it. I am sure that sexual harrassment does happen more to ladies than men, but many girls, however innocently, do send the wrong signals though I won't deny that many men don't understand a simple no means NO!

I ran out of time and space to complete my reply to your posting 16, Pan. The simple reason men find it difficult to find a wife to raise a family with is that too many ladies would rather have a career than get married - simple arithmetic. Girls (is it PC to call them that?) who dont feel the need to continue the species just add to the problem. And, yes, I know all about the world population explosion!

A) On one hand you're saying there should not be defined male/female roles; on the other, that there's nothing wrong with 'changing roles'...
B) Workplace sexual harrassment does exist, and it is wrong. BUT!
(there's always a 'but', isn't there?)
It also works both ways. Generally when people refer to 'harrassment',
they are talking about a man in a position of authority over a woman trying to get into an entirely different position over a woman... to this, I reply,
"Madonna Monica Lewinsky Monroe" so there.
My point is, this 'Politically Correct', ' Sexual Harrassment' business has gotten so bad that any poor b*****d trying to get a date needs a lawyer...
C) I met my Hoppa at work. Nobody was harrassing anybody, that just happens to be where we met. And we've been deleriously happy for over a decade! Love is real; don't give up.
D) We both work; we both have kids; we both have responsibilities;
we live together...TOGETHER, you see...
PLT, Mick.

My, but this topic has us about in a lather! Let's just agree to disagree on the sexual harrassment thing...since I've very innocently been on the receiving end! And I know quiet well how to go about a flirt So there are only wrong answrers here. (BTW asking for a date is harmless...stalking behavior is a different topic)

Any adult who is pulling along baggage from the past would benift from
learning how to dispose of it once and for all! As a therapist, I will ONLY use a new tech. if I've had it tried on myself & gotten some good from it! Therefore, my demonds have been fairly well exorcised. (I'll never forget the poor handsome felow who couldn't get through the day because of the 'girls' bothering him! Just thought of a good turn around on the sex thing. He worked in nasty jeans & tees all day...so
it's not always the signles that WE send...it's often the aggressors
thought process gone loopie) I think it's very open minded you all of you to say that you don't mind role changes. There are many reasons all women cannot, or will not bare children. Many times it has to do with being afraid to depend on a man. Hence, the influx of ladies in the work place...we've grown up seeing our mother's staying with abusive men "for the sake of the children". You'll never get me to agree two fighting parents are better than one calm one! NEVER! Hope you could keep up with my rambelings. It's the week-end & I'm quiet relaxed & not even up to looking for typos. Have a good week-end! Next?

I followed and agreed with everything you said. Only when we discover the mistakes in the past made by our parents will we be able to improve our lives. And all this comes with lots of trial and error. It's kinda like math......

I was one of two children with a father who worked and a mother who, supposedly stayed at home to look after us children. However, my mother chose to employ an army of staff to look after my brother and myself until we were old enough to go to boarding school (7 yrs old).
Needless to say, I now have a terrible relationship with my mother, along with a deep sense of rejection, and my brother (who feels likewise) has chosen to live on the other side of the world (Australia). What really counts in a family relationship is not who works or whether or not the parents live together, it is having parents who truly care for their children and puts them before anything else.

Dream & Slug...WELL SAID!!! Now, if we could just get the rest of the World to see things our way...Hmmm, food for thought! I may have something have way bright to say after a bit of sleep!

pandora, i hold similar views. i'm 26, and am still having trouble balancing between power and femininity (i wrote a posting on that very subject). i'm currently in a situation where i am "allowed" to take control, a refreshing relationship trait that seems very rare these days. it is difficult for women, AND for men, because the lines are so very blurred. i think to save time, situational case-by-case standards should be held. one thing i can't stand is people saying "all women are..." or even "all men are..." ...these kinds of generalizations rip people apart.

being female, it's very difficult to be taken seriously when you've got such things as these condescending mass-media catch phrases like "girls rule!" and "girl power!" (as long as you're wearing a miniskirt and spandex bra, eh, spice girls?), said through goofy, seventeen-magazine grins. i don't need someone to pat me on the head and tell me i'm smart; i don't need a t-shirt slogan to make people think i have a brain. men can probably complain of other problems concerning power and such. even though we're completely different, we're not so different, you know? i mean, we're of the same species, so there's a start, huh?

and as for that guy who has major problems with women, it seems he may have been scorned a little more than once, eh? ask random women, and i'm sure they'd tout similar insults about men. it's all in your perspective.

Ellencherry, i to feal the same about stereotyping. I might listen if a man actually went around the entire world and asked every single women their opinion. Otherwise how can they group us all the same? people really should avoid such statements that group someone with everyone. I won't sit back and say I'm perfect because often I sit back and find myself doing just this. Also just for the record If the men who think so poorly of women would quit looking at the spadex mini skirts and start looking at the women then maybe their opinions would differ. But that's just my opinion I could be wrong.....

...agreed! and why is it that when a man finds himself caring for a woman, he feels trapped, like she has snagged him in some way? why are men and women so afraid to care about eachother? two male friends talking about a third: "he says he's in love, and that he wants to marry her. ...well, another one got their claws in him, eh?"

maybe i contain a unique characteristic, being female, in that i do not wish to tie anyone down, nor do i wish to be tied. which is not to say that i don't want affection. but i've been thinking a lot about this matter: that once you pin something down and hold on to it, it begins to lose all that which you once found so attractive about it.

Probably why my marriage is going to Hell-in-a-handbasket! But beware to not say the same things about 'men' in general, as you've protested about men saying about 'us' My husband has grown because of our togetherness, he'll be the first to tell you all about it. I just hope he takes another wife...would be his 3rd...because he is very easy to live with. I think I'd rather have a good steady challange or be by myself! The very first time he said,"Don't ever wear that top unless it's just us here!" I realized he viewed me as 'his'...his property.
Many folks who read this will think, well, Pan is just too independent. But I don't think I am. I love. I share. I give. I just can't stand to be a 'trophy wife'! Alot of women are pretty (inside)
not just out side & when fellows stop looking for the centerfold types
& set their sights on a 'real' gal...all will be right! But I'm not going to say I wish I were not easy on the eyes! I'd just like to be seen on the 'inside' too! He dosen't care to look & has no interest in anything I do or where I go. I hope his next wife love to just "be".

...well, mainly i speak of a specific group of male friends i have and observing their conversations with one another. i try not to lump people up, but like you said, i do find myself caught in that snag on occasion.

i've met men like that...who, once they "have" your body, start looking less and less into your mind. there's a difference between being independent and seperatist, though, right?

Right on girlfriend! Can't stay on long...another storm has just hit! I just wish people would except eachother for who they are. Bear
loved me in THAT shirt. As soon as we were married he not only said don't wear THAT shirt...it was: Don't cut your hair again, I'll be brushing it for you & on & on...sheesh, I wonder how he thought I ever got along without him telling me what to wear?