h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In a bank ad for their retirement savings (freely translated from Swedish):

'Take the chance to travel while you're young (and once you're old)'

Oh, so I've been doing it wrong travelling all these years between young and old? Or is there no inbetween?

Can I quickly mention one that I think is great? It is a car ad for (erm, not 100% sure I remember but...) the VW Polo, with two people doing a very cool argentinian tango. I have to stop to watch it every single time it comes on...

I do like that one Kelli! Always admire it Fantastic bit of advertising!

The same ad campaign has a rather naughty one which was on rudetube recently (a compilation TV show of popular online clips).

The tagline is about how tough the car is. A chap pulls up outside a cafe with an explosives vest on and proceeds to harm only himself and make a mess inside the car.

It's wrong, but I did laugh.

Robyn, to quote from a song by Dr Hook: It feels so good, it must be wrong.

I bought some cans of Harboe Cola yesterday. They all have the words "Original taste" running along the top. I think they´ve had that for a long time. However, now that has been joined by a little speech bubble thing below saying "New taste!". Make up your mind people.

Pro Points at Weightwatchers ... it's a whole new way to lose weight ...


So goes the advertising. I bet it isn't. I bet you've just come up with a new points system ...

*Puts one finger on his nose and points the other at Bright Blue Shorts.*

That's pretty much it... it's now calculated using carbs and fibre and stuff rather than just fat.

Aren't those called calories?

Ambi-pur has brought out an air-freshener that cycles between three fragrances - morning breeze, freshly cut grass and 'open window'. I can understand 'freshly cut grass', but surely the smells you get on a morning breeze or through an open window depend on where you live. I realise that the fragrance names are meant to suggest pleasant country smells. I live in the country and not all country smells are pleasant.

MMMmmmm

hay fever, muck spreading and cow fart, the new fragrances from ambi pure

and is it nerve gas or blood agent that smells like new mown hay?

choking agent, phosgene smells of new mown hay

blood agent, hydrogen cyanide smells of almonds, allegedly, you get enough to smell and its the last thing you smell

An example of a company not checking that a word means the same in a different country: Maybelline has launched a mascara called Falsies that, according to the advertising, gives you a 'false lash glam look'. Maybe 'falsies' are false eye-lashes in the US. I've always understood 'falsies' to be fake breasts, e.g. as used by drag queens or female impersonators.

I don't use mascara. If I did, I wouldn't use one that made my look like they were fake.

to that!
Well, some firms *do* check. Allegedly, Rolls&Royce decided calling one of their cars "Silver Mist" might start giggles in Gemany.
"Mist" is the German translation of "manure".

This may have been mentioned before, but hey-ho.
I've just seen an advert warning me that my hand soap dispenser is COVERED IN DEATH DEALING GERMS!!!!!!!!!!!
This company has the answer though, a dispenser you don't need to touch

Correct me if I've missed something here, but......when I use the pump on my hand soap dispenser, I then cleam my hands with said dispensed soap. This means I've killed all the germs surely?

This must have been a great brainstorming meeting to sit around at the ad company.

And as I've said before on here. Yes that's true but you leave those death dealing germs on the bottle where you've touched it.

Laboratories where they use pathogenic bacterial cultures for research do really have these dispensers, plus taps you open and shut with your elbows. So they really are, I'm afraid useful....

...in a lab that really does deal with death dealing germs...

...probably not so necessary in the home unless you have OCD in which case they'll be a godsend.

All this superhygieinicthis and antithat is bovine feces anyway. Children never get the chance to develop a functioning immune system and parents can´t understand why their offspring later shows allergy reactions to just about everything. Throw mud at your children!

The Dettol ads keep getting stupider, too. "Dettol kills 99.9% of all bacteria, including the flu virus!"

i have invented something that kills 0.1% of all bacteria, i'll sell it to dettol and make a fortune

The thing that always goes through my mind when I see those ads is that 99% of bacteria are either vital or absolutely harmless, anyway.