h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I blame 2legs for the unadvancement of my moving preparations. There are still too many empty boxes in the Lair. Less than two weeks to go..

Will it become a lair emeritus? Does the new place become a lair instantly, or does it have to earn the title?

These are important questions I trouble myself with

I blame 2legs for hangovers and bruising and for the need to go to the shop for cigs, and for approaching breakfast of bacon and eggs

I blame 2legs for overenthusiastic schoolboys, in particular the ones on my tour this morning who gorged themselves on sweets and then got dizzy on the spiral staircase and vomited all over it, just when we had another tour of 113 Chinese people following behind.

I blame 2legs for my being so tired, I can't quite muster up the energy to finish packing my rucksack for tomorrow

I blame 2legs for the need of quadruple espresso this morning.

I definitely blame him for the absurdling low number of boxed that was filled yesterday in spite of my taking the afternoon off w*rk. But most of all I blame him for the time spent reading K/S in stead of packing boxes.

I blame 2legs for gallstones and my hospitalitation due to them.

However I don't blame hime for the multitude of worthy male jr or young male

I guess I could blame the multitude of drugs I've subjected to, or Eric or maybe even 2legs if anyone should object my

I blame 2legs for tiredness and quietness on hootoo today, and busyness on twitter today... and for unmentionable twisted blue sticks, which fall out of drain holes, when the marshmellow melts onto the side of the upturned lobster cart. I think

I blame 2legs for uncooperative bones. It's now a week since I buggered the top of my spine, about two months since I buggered the bottom of it, and a year since I buggered my knee. They are making it slightly hard to sleep!

How much would it cost to get all this ould cheap calcium nonsense removed and have wall to wall titanium installed?

no nice s or s to manipulate your bones for you?

I blame 2legs for bread, and the baking thereof, and for autolysing and my indescision over what recipie to use for rolls

I blame 2legs for never ending boxes to empty and sort out. My new living room must be at the opening of a black hole which comes from the Galaxy of Eternal and Everlasting Boxes.

I also blame him for my aching scar.

I'm sure I've still got one or two boxes left here, from when I moved in, that have never been opened.... I think* one of them contains the body of an old bass guitar and some electronics for several old bass guitars... I shall try and sort the final boxes one day... they've only been 'missing' since about 1999

I blame 2legs for an endless day of cooking.... so far made the dough for rolls and onion and poppy seed bread; roll dough shaped and rolls rising prior to baking, onion poppy seed bread currently cooking, and I've got beef burgers to make later for my dinner I also blame 2legs for the vast amoutn of beef I'll end up eating, if the rolls are as big as they seem they might be...

I blame 2legs for the large upright box just inside the front door which I can't shift and the hidden "archive" of magazines I found earlier

I blame 2legs for the fact that my bank account had an unplanned rendezvous with teh interwebz today.

I blame 2legs for my new corset which arrived today.
I also blame 2legs for it being nearly impossible to breathe.... these two things might be connected
I also blame 2legs for the vast amount of fresh beef mince from the butchers, which I just mixed with onion and garlic and spices and pepper and made burgers with... and for the massive rolls I made earlier specially for this purpose... and for melted Polish smoked cheese, fresh salad, and mayo and for the corset suddenly feeling an aweful lot tighter than It did earlier

I blame 2legs for the fact that nobody has yet invented car brakes that don't wear out. I also blame him for the fact that ours have worn out and that we can't realistically drive anywhere until we get them replaced. Furthermore, I blame him for the sore foot I now have through having to walk everywhere.

I blame 2legs for a slightly infuriating evening spent arsing about with a crotchety computer. Then again, at least it was (eventually) productive - I once again have a serviceable PC instead of an oversized doorstop.

I blame 2legs for my suspected broken nose. I also blame him for Algerian Nose Wrestling and the fact that, despite our best efforts, Algerian Nose Wrestling isn't trending on Twitter.

I blame 2legs for #algeriannosewrestling and for it still not trending and also for it being clod today...

I blame 2legs for missing remote to telly.