h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I blame 2Legs for London

I blame 2legs for the unilateral disequilibrum created through the scoring system of the pre-myrian lobster infestations of the westen end of the rainilings, which havve and has and indeed dost and will do, and yet may, and cettianly is, as it suggetes not entirley without withstanding its own pre-existant state of rendered scants in its manafold way of warbling yet applieing this most susctinctly therein to the pertences of it sown derivation.

I blame 2legs for warping peoples minds, playing with their minds, and then after playing with their minds taking their minds and putting htem in a large bucket with the word 'save the swamp cretures' writen on the side, in Southend.

I blame 2legs for 'compliance training'.

I blame 2legs for complying i implying, denyieing, rectifying anoying, portraying, dismaying, and the hypocampus.

I blame 2legs for 'compliance training' not being half as interesting as it sounds.

I blame 2legs for spilt cocain and blocked drainks.

I blame 2legs for the current drug laws.

I blame 2legs for everything Ive ever done whilst too drink for him to remember or me to care about.

I blame 2legs for teaching me to count wrongly

I blame 2legs for Richard Whitley's ties on countdown

My hAIRCUT CIRCA 1978

Acccidentally hitting caps lock instead of caps.

All the things I have to do but just dont want to.

and for my farts being very stinky today.

I blame 2legs for all that and more besides.

I blame 2legs for poor ventilation.

i blame 2legs for everything bad!

I blame 2legs for making me want to shoot 2legs out of a large cannon by reminding me that 2legs, in addition to being responsible for London, is also responsible for Southend, South Shields, East of Eden, West End Girls, East End Boys, the Beastie Boys, the North Pole and Sou-Westers...

...and making my brain hurt when he dropped it into that bucket. Why, why, why did he have to drop my brain into the bucket with the crabs and the lobsters and the nasty pointy nippy clawed things of the sea and of the air and of the land and of the bit between the land and the sea which is sometimes wet and sometimes very wet?

Oh yes, I also blame 2legs for giving me a bit of a surreal moment just before I go home.

I blame 2legs for the rain storm that appears to have just started outside, actually it sounds more like hail!
I blame 2legs for all the telephone numbers of take away food dilivery places I just put into my mobile contacts DB, some are cambridge some are Lowestoft, they are all his fault though.

I comprehensively blame 2legs for the fact that I now know who he/she/it is. I could have done without that today.

Cheese appears to be high on his/her/its agenda, and so do badgers. I'm puttin' my blamin' shoes on and suggesting that it is therefore 2legs' fault that someone keyed my car a few weeks ago.

It is also 2legs fault that all the girls I fancy are either married, already have boyfriends or are lesbians.

There. How do you like *dem* apples?

I'm getting the hang of it now. I blame 2legs for this.

Fair enough.

I blame 2legs for this and that.

I blame 2legs for the rain shower passing as quickly as it came.

I blame 2legs for my being here rahter than going off and making a wholesome tasty beef stew with tons of veg in it to boot.


I blame 2legs for the one true son of the one true BoB still not having put in an appearance.

Yeah! What 2legs said!

thank you.

I blame 2legs for people agreeing with him.

I blame 2legs for being so agreeable.

I blame 2legs for being so disa=greable.

I blame 2legs for the pips on radio four.

I blame 2legs for toast falling butter side down.

I blame 2legs for home taping killing music.

I blame 2legs for home taping not killing Celine Dion, no matter how many times I try

I blame 2legs for Les Claypool.

I blame 2legs for Pork Soda, for Johnny (he was a race car driver), For Tommy the Cat, for Sailing the Seas of Cheese and for those damn blue collar tweekers, they're runnin' this here town!

I blame 2legs for me sitting here looking at all the 309 backlog posts, instead of getting the kids off to bed .

Milla

I blame 2legs for the smurfs.

And exams.

And penguins.