h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes you did put the cat amongst the pigeons, Dogster!

I was recently cheered on by some road workmen, for shouting at the dithering bloke in front of me...'You could get a bus through there'. It seemed as plain as day to me. But the dithering bloke in front of me couldn't see it. He reversed. And then I sailed through the narrow gap between the lorry and roadworks. What a twerp I thought...

Do I have too much testorerone? No. I just have confidence in my driving, unlike the idiot in front of me.

Women just need an injection of confidence and self belief...

yeah i think concentration plats a large part in not walking into stuff, i recently walked into an unsuspecting tree because i was talking to a friend. my only excuse being that it was dark and i wasnt paying attention and i didnt know this friend well enough to ask if i could borrow her elbow.

mini

Now. Where's that "y" key? Oh yes, over there.

Whoops!



PP

I frequently bruise my thigh on the bedpost when rushing past the bed & occasionally hit a door frame. In my case, I'm sure it's a matter of too much haste & thoughts elsewhere. Stress certainly makes me more clumsy.

Apart from the possible pathological causes already mentioned, children often suffer from clumsiness like this if their sense of their own size hasn't caught up with how fast they are growing!

My sister had the rare talent of falling over while standing perfectly still!

That reminds me of my friend who had a dog with narcolepsy. Any time it got excited, it collapsed on the floor into sleep. The first time I saw it happen was when I held out a slice of ham for it. It charged across the floor, and before it got to my hand it just hit the ground. I thought it had died.

I'd have thought eventually it would have died of starvation; dogs *always* get excited by food.

My spacial awareness is at a new all-time low with my second pregnancy. I totally lost the ability to park when pregnant with #1 and it had just started to come back when I got knocked up again. It has now been such a long time since I've parallel parked anywhere I fear I may never do it again, and considering I used to live in London where fast parallel parking is an essential skill this is pretty bad. So I would say there is definitely a hormonal element to it - to the OP, do you find you are more clumsy at certain times of the month?

I've always been clumsy with my body though - I put it down to being much fatter in reality than my sensory homunculus thinks, so outlying areas are forever being hit upon tables etc. Door handles seem to be a speciality and are painful to catch yourself on. This is particularly bad for the bump which is always getting knocked on things due to my forgetting it is there. Last time I was preggers I badly burnt it on the open oven door because I just forgot that it stuck out so far.

Forget anything I said. I tripped over my own feet hurrying down the hill to meet my Uni group just now, and managed to scrape the skin off a good 20 cm² of my shin.

I've never met a flight of stairs I haven't fallen down, I walk into door frames on a daily basis and I drop almost everything I'm ever handed on my toes. If I'm in a pub with you, I'm sorry but I will accidentally spill drink all over you. I wish I had a proper excuse, but I'm just really, really, really clumsy.

it must be a female thing

let me correct that it could be a female thing


.. aahh.. let me correct once more right .. .. aahh some people could possibly suggest it's a female thing

sometimes I just blurt out the first thing on my mind

I get utterly bored with this idea of what males and females are. Yes there's an absolute in terms of sex chromosomes. But quite apart from that there is an infinite variety.

All kinds of other genes. All kinds of personalities and skills. All kinds of upbringings. All kinds of traditions and histories, And a myriad of interactions between all this higeley pigley of complex factors.

Yes we all like to play with the stereotypes, like we do with cultural stereotypes. But really within this stuff there is infinite complexity that is all too easily misunderstood and simplistically defined.

I'm female. I'm useless at parallel parking, not very good at gauging sizes but I can read a map. A few weeks ago I saw John Barrowman struggling with a map on a programme about what makes people gay. I wanted to yell, "Come on, man! It's not difficult!" It turns out that his brain is 'female-wired'.

Yes, there does seem to be a hormonal thing that affects the brain during foetal development. But this isn't an absolute, and although some people fit the stereotypes, they don't apply to everybody.

Oh, and regarding the original post, I walk into things. Not often, but it happens. It always seems to be my left thigh that collides with the furniture. Yesterday it was the arm of the chair by the living room door. The other thing I collide with is the footboard on our bed. There's a horizontal post that sticks out. In every case, the collision is because I'm more focussed on where I'm going than on how I'm getting there.

As far as bruises go, I had a big one a few years ago. I was coming down the stairs when my right foot slipped. My left leg was bent, so I went down most of the stairs on my right buttock. Hubby described the resultant bruising as the worst he'd ever seen, and I had a lump that has taken years to subside. That incident was also down to carelessness and not thinking about what I was doing.

So there you have it. It's not a female thing, it's purely down to paying more attention to where you're going than on how you're going to get there. Case solved.

I too have the bed with the sticky out bit! (And I can read a map!)

just for fun, try this: Get a stretchy bandage (a wide one's good. About three inches if you have one, but any will do) and put it around your ankle and tuck it into your sock or tie it off. Not pulled tight but firmly so it wont slip. Then wind it in a loose spiral up to your hip and tuck it into itself.

When you walk around, you will feel that leg more than the other, it's quite an odd sensation. If you do this loose body wrap to every part of your body (all together if you like, but you can just do one now and then)and wear it for a few minutes (do the hoovering? Or the ironing? Something involving some movement is best) you will probably find your body awareness improves and along with it, your clumsiness may lessen.

If it does nothing at all, I can almost guarantee you, you'll have had a good giggle at your own expense at the very least and therefore helped with a little natural healing anyway

just for fun, try this: Get a stretchy bandage (a wide one's good. About three inches if you have one, but any will do) and put it around your ankle and tuck it into your sock or tie it off. Not pulled tight but firmly so it wont slip. Then wind it in a loose (firm but not pulled tight but wind it openly enough that it'll stretch) spiral up to your hip and tuck it into itself.

When you walk around, you will feel that leg more than the other, it's quite an odd sensation. If you do this loose body wrap to every part of your body (all together if you like, but you can just do one now and then)and wear it for a few minutes (do the hoovering? Or the ironing? Something involving some movement is best) you will probably find your body awareness improves and along with it, your clumsiness may lessen.

If it does nothing at all, I can almost guarantee you, you'll have had a good giggle at your own expense at the very least and therefore helped with a little natural healing anyway

EDIT!

Perhaps you should go easy on the daytime drinking.

no, that's late lunching that...

mm.. my sister had lunch like that, with a few s .. she bumped into my brother in law .. but that's something completely different, isn't it?