h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Amen to that, McKay.

Anyone who starts a ( frequently interminable ) monologue with the phrase "in my humble opinion," deserves slow death by garrotte, and the really slow strangly kind of garrotte, as used in Inquisition Spain, rope round the neck against a plank and a wind-up screw-handle thingy at the back. Yep. That's what they deserve ( in my humble opinion ). Why? Let's really analyse ( in our anal way ) the full horror of this clichee.

Because:
(a) as soon as they open their mouth we all know it's their opinion coming out of it.
(b) the fact that they have chosen to pontificate at all ( and it's usually pretty pontificatious twaddle that follows the "humble" opening ) means they are anything but "humble".
(c) it's pretending to be a class of apology, a fake-modest disclaimer for what follows, when in fact we also know there will be no avoiding the pontificating, which will be delivered with the full weight of the inflated ego behind it.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
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Bad taste joke of the night:

Did you hear about the new Palestinian inflatable sex-dolls?
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They blow themselves up!

Oi oi steady on there.

"In my humble opinion" actually does have its function, as a disclaimer, whether ironic or not. It is so useful that it has become a FLA: IMHO.

Now let's hear it for TLAs and FLAs. Oh come on Chai you know what they are: three- and four-letter acronyms.

And for good measure, gripe of the night: people who put spaces after opening and before closing brackets, so that an orphan bracket frequently appears at the end ( opening bracket ) or beginning ( closing bracket ) of a line.

That should of course be typed (opening bracket) and (closing bracket).

Nyaah.

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Home for lost brackets to meet and marry.

And that looked nothing like the previw

I was waiting for that comment about the brackets. I knew it would come sooner or later, R'man. (I personally think....isn't that one of the worst abusages....) Start again. Maybe I'm a bit claustrophobic, but given that h2g2 espouses Arial in the Alabaster text display, I feel the gapless bracket is a bit cramped looking, and harder to read than the be-gapped version. So "nyiah" to you too. Er...with knobs on.
(Not to mention) ya, booh, and sucks, sa Molesworth.

Yep, having previewed this message, those "correct" bracketings definitely look cramped (to my eye), but I'll correct them anyway, if it makes you happy, R'man. (Personally...in my humble opinion....) it's better to be legible than correct.

Brilliant, Chaiwallah! (We just watched Star Wars The Phantom Menace again last night.)

Hilarious jokes, pdante'!

Yes! I have heard people on news bulletins say things like "the car mounted the pavement in front of me, and I literally died!" (or "went into shock" which is equally annoying, these people who "literally went into shock" would know more about it if they actually had!)
Another one, I came across in of all places New Scientist yesterday, they should know better - "rather unique", which might just be okay, but "very unique", or "nearly unique" ! Something is unique or it isn't, end of story...

Thanks for that information about the Egyptian pantheon, Chaiwallah... I am reading a novel which touches on this - 'Anubis Gates', by Tim Power... it's awesome!

>> but "very unique", or "nearly unique" <

Thats in the same class as TV announcers saying its almost exactly 3:00 pm.

Its either almost 3:00 PM or its exactly 3:00 PM. Can't be both.

Donald

"...And with the demise of , the post is left open..."

He hasn't DIED, for Bob's sake! All that's happened is he resigned/was sacked/wanted to "spend more time with his family".

Oh, and "spend more time with my family": does this mean "I've done something bad, no-one's found out about it yet, so I'll quit before the newspapers dig it up and ruin my glittering political career"?

RF

Of course (although this may be stepping on pedantic toes) there are those who would say that these ( ) are parantheses and not brackets at all.

Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece a dirty off-white colour. (Have *you* ever seen a lamb "as white as snow"? Me neither.)

It was dragged, bleating, with a rope around its neck to school one day. The headmaster stopped Mary at the school gate, and said "You can't bring that animal in here". He summoned the school caretaker, who took it away, and Mary was told to report to the headmaster's office after assembly.

It turned out that Mary hadn't done her homework, and brought the sheep (which she'd stolen from a neighbouring field) to school as a distraction. How she thought this would work is anybody's guess. She was referred to a behavioural psychologist, and is now in a special needs school. The sheep was returned to its field.

So remember, kids...if you haven't done your homework, bringing livestock to school is *not* the solution. Say the dog ate it, or something.

RF

Brilliant, Reddyfreddy!

Ithangyow!

RF

I read "The Anubis Gates" (which is excellent ang gets my recommendation as a must read book) about twenty years ago, Adelaide, and oddly enough it cropped up in a RL conversation I had a few days ago after watching "Pirates of the Caribbean", which I am sure was inspired by another Tim Powers book, "On Stranger Tides".

Noggin

I haven't got around to reading any other books by Tim Powers, but I should. Anubis Gates is really creepy in a good way!

Why can't I buy a car boot at a car boot sale?

Noggin

OK, now we're getting to the crux of it. Maybe some of you (probably the male contingent) can answer me some things that the -hubs just laughs at.

If I "nut" someone, I hit them with my head.
If I "knee" someone, I've hit them with my knee.

How come if I "chin" someone, I have punched them on the chin?

Different is an adjective based on the verb 'to differ'.

eg: My opinion differs from yours.

And I defy anyone to use anything but 'from' after any form of the verb to differ. Y' canna say something 'differs than' or 'differs to' or anything but 'differs from'.

So if a thing differs FROM another it can only be adjectivally described as DIFFERENT FROM it.

It is much simpler to use the verb and just say something differs from another thing. I've never understood why people will use 'is different' rather than the verb 'differs'. If two things are 'different' they 'differ from' each other.


~jwf~