A Conversation for Ask h2g2

Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 81

Rat

I think so...where is Oklahoma again?

rat
(kidding-I do live in the US doncha know)


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 82

jbliqemp...

I think it's in a desert. No wood. Only cacti. Lots of sand.

(Also just kidding. Vaguely apologetic to my mid-western friends.)

-jb


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 83

Rat

Hey! A big sandbox! Cool!

rat

(not kidding)smiley - winkeye


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 84

jbliqemp...

No water though. They have to get it piped in from the Ukraine. Or was it Utah? I'm confused...

(attempting to lobotomize myself at this moment)

-jb


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 85

Robotron, formerly known as Robyn Graves and before that, GreyRose

No, there's no desert in OK, but there are mountains which suprises a lot of people. But we really don't have water, sort of. There are no natural lakes in OK, only man made ones.

Thanks for your advice turtle. Don't worry too much about me. I do other things besides moon over The Boy. I don't even want a relationship really. I want to go out with HIM, but not just so I can have a boyfriend. I'm not going to give up on him completely unless he decides that he doesn't like me that way. (But, I hope he does!) I just talk about it alot, because he confuses me.

Here's what you can do to help, jb (and everyone). He is scared of getting in a relationship, he told me that much. He wouldn't/couldn't tell me what about it scared him. So what I need is theories about what it could be, and how to deal with that fear.

So, get to it. smiley - smiley

Oh yeah, it wasn't 19 hours to go earlier, it was 31. Now it is 25 hours to go.


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 86

jbliqemp...

I'm not surprised at all about the mountains in OK. It's perfectly natural for there to be mountains of sand in a desert. Look at the Sahara.



Scared of relationships. What can you tell us about him, other than what you've told us before? His friends, family, jobs, etc. Family would probably help the most. Maybe even his beliefs, though you already have said he isn't overly religous.

Other than the normal possibilities, I can't think of anything right now. I'll be back tomorrow...

-jb


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 87

Robotron, formerly known as Robyn Graves and before that, GreyRose

I just saw the creepiest thing with Kathie Lee Gifford, uuuuggggggghhhhhhh.

Sorry, I got distracted.

I don't know much about his family. I know he's the youngest of two kids. And he's on good terms with his parents. That's about it.

His friends are really funny and fun to be around. I wouldn't be good friends with any of them though. I don't think I could trust them with information about my feelings. The only ones I know really are his roommates, but they don't really know him any better than I do. He once told me that he didn't have any friends.

He works nights, which he couldn't have any other way. He is a real night person, which is good for me (my ex would pass out around 11 and I would be up alone till 4 or 5). He works seven days a week. He has a weekday job and a weekend job. He's been working at his weekday job for over a year, and hates it right now.

What can I tell you about his beliefs? Trust is a big thing with him. He once stopped talking to someone because they told someone else that he had been talking bad about them. (something I wouldn't do, the only reason to do that is either someone would be in danger if they didn't know or you just want to start some trouble)

I can't think of anything else at the moment. I've got 11 hours left.

GreyRose

And, if anyone's worried that I'm planning on bringing the whole relationship thing up tomarrow, I'm not, but I want to be ready if he wants to.


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 88

Ozman

How the hell can mountains surprise people? I mean it's not like they can jump out from behind something and shout "BOOO!!!!". Then again, I suppose if you were drive through the desert and you suddenly went over a cliff you'd probably be pretty surprised. Except of course then you'd be surprised by a sudden *lack* of mountains, in fact a lack of *anything*, rather than their presence.

Um, jb, could I borrow that Hole Lobotomy Kit? Cheers.

As for why The Boy might be scared, maybe his sensitivity to trust meant he got hurt a few times in past relationships. Nobody tells the truth *all* the time. If it happened to him often enough it might all but turn him off relationships completely.


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 89

Robotron, formerly known as Robyn Graves and before that, GreyRose

A lot of people think that OK is flat. But, it's not, in fact, Kansas is flatter.

How are you Oz?


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 90

Robotron, formerly known as Robyn Graves and before that, GreyRose

Argh!

You guys, I have 8 hours left until I go out tonight and I am so nervous. There has been a knot in my stomach since I woke up today.

Why does he have this effect/affect (I never know which one to use) on me?


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 91

jbliqemp...

smiley - winkeye

effect- result, consequence

affect- act on, influence; make pretense

Your nervousness is an effect of your relationship with him. He affects you.

He has something you want, and you aren't sure you can get it from him, so you aren't confident. You think you might be able to, though, so instead of being resigned, you are nervous. Your sub-conscience wants you to be ready to jump when you see an opportunity, but only as high as you need to. You're worried.

relax

-jb


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 92

Robotron, formerly known as Robyn Graves and before that, GreyRose

*takes a few deep breaths*

That didn't work. What ever will I do? (rhetorical question, though you can answer it if you want smiley - winkeye )


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 93

Icarus

I suggest doing something to distract yourself from the problem at hand. When you have all but forgotten about it, come back to it. Sometimes looking at things from a fresh perspective is useful.


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 94

Robotron, formerly known as Robyn Graves and before that, GreyRose

Have you read the backlog Icarus? Including the first why are guys guys? If you had, you would have seen that someone (jb I think) already suggested it. It didn't work then and I don't think it will now.

Especially since I have algebra class coming up, which is almost three hours long and very boring. smiley - sadface

And, I seem kind of coarse up there, I don't mean to. Your advice is good, Icarus. And, I don't want to seem like I think that you should read all the backlog, I'm sure you have better things to do.

GreyRose


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 95

jbliqemp...

Do anything that you find relieves tension. Don't think about the problem, as you've already made your decision. Thinking about it won't change it or make it go away. Icarus is right.

-jb


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 96

Robotron, formerly known as Robyn Graves and before that, GreyRose

I know. But it's so hard not to think about it. In algebra especially, since I know most of it and the only time I really need to listen is when we're using the calculators.

But don't worry you guys, I'll be ok. I'm resiliant (sp?). smiley - smiley

But still nervous. smiley - winkeye


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 97

jbliqemp...

Ok. I have to get off the computer now. I'll try to check in later (say 8pm your time). No promises though.

Good luck.

Maybe I should write an entry on relieving tension.

-jb


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 98

iodine

Grey...
(i think i shall type that now instead of greyrose since i am too lazy to type out the whole word and rose is kinda... blah, then again this explanation required far more typing anyway, oh well)
Now this is bad advice and i know it (you will too as soon as you read it), but i live by it and it seems to work.

You only have a few hours to go, so worry your head of for those few hours about whatever comes to mind. Flip out, punsh some pillows, whatever... then when the time finally comes you will be
so tired of worrying that you will accept whatever comes, and whatever does come will not be nearly as bad as what you were afraid would happen (and probably a good thing too, or at least i hope it will be for
you).

now as a side note i just wanted to say yet again that the more you tell us about your guy the more it reminds me of myself so i apreceate all the information you are sharing, it will probably help me in the future.
so on that note please keep us informed =) and good luck to you tonight


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 99

Rat

Yeah, good luck!!! And its perfectly fine to feel knots in your stomach cause of this. It really is one of the oddest, strangest, most wonderful feelings-and when the excitement wears off, there he is, picking his nose in the corner.

Sorry about that.
smiley - winkeye

Hey, I find it so cool when you guys say cheers.I live in NY and I was wondering if I can say it too, would that be an insult?

rat


Why are guys guys? II : the revenge.

Post 100

jbliqemp...

It's a typical English toast. It might confuse people as to where you're from, but then they'll see how you spell color and they'll know.

A good thing is that you are just typing Cheers!, not saying it with a bad impresion of an English accent.

-jb


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