h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"will be murdered dead"

Hollywood Hyperbole of the highest calibre

You had me at "a top underwater vomitist".

what was so long about those postings? does the filter remove anything too wide for the page? that's just silly.

also i tried that head on the wall thing and it's really hard to do but my mum can do it. i can now but it took me a while.

a peanut is not a nut at all but rather a legume

"Legume" is not a tinny word.

what do you mean by tinny"?

If you listen to a shell on the beach you can hear the sea. If you listen long enough (and really concentrate) the whispery sounds of the sea turn into voices telling you to hurt other people.

Tinny vs. woody sounding words. Python reference.

oh right...heres me a member

well, I wouldn't call you a (reference to masculine appendage removed)

The "D" in D-Day stands for Day

(The Bi in Bidet doesn't stand for anything, you have to sit)

You can have a silent P in baths.

not when you're standing next to me and the water turns purple

<>

Except for Hartlepool United (right next to Rotherham in the current league table), Rushden and Diamonds, and Torquay United.

OK, the last two named are not doing very well, and one of them will very probably be out of the league at the end of the season, but it's still not a very accurate fact now, is it?

***STOP PRESS***

This year, on the 4th of May, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning;

The time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.

That won't ever happen again!

This is known as SkyWalker's Day

!!!!!!!!!!May the 4th Be With You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can all go back to your lives now

haven't we already had that point? the first bit of it anyway.

have we?

oh well, then it's doubly useless

Yay!